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Old 09-18-2014, 04:58 AM
 
15,797 posts, read 13,230,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri View Post
I might ask, "Are you ok? Does your mom know you are out here?" If I was still concerned I might knock on the door just to be sure. I would not call the police. Not for a six year old boy sitting on a bench that can be seen from his own front porch.
150 yards is 50% longer than a football field. That is really far. So he wasn't anywhere near his door. And from the pictures in your own link, it was a lightly wooded area, you wouldn't be able to tell which of the many houses in such a large area were his. Remember it is the one side of the story from the mom, which claims if she stopped whatever she was doing and went outside she could see him from the porch. Maybe yes, maybe no. But by her own admission 150 yards from his own property.

Quote:
Of course. This is a message board and I posted a news article, obviously we won't have every single detail of the story. If you or anyone else has more details, please feel free to share them.
It's not really a news story, it was a summation if a blog. We are missing every detail from the neighbor, cps, and he police. This woman has a blog to promote, clearly she might heave an inclination to exaggerate in her own favor.



Quote:
I know what CPS is. I know what it is for. I don't think that the neighbor or the police needed to call CPS in to investigate for a boy playing outside in his own neighborhood.
he was sitting on a bench in a public place alone. I wouldn't classify that as playing in his neighborhood, which typical involves other children. Well, at least in my neighborhood.

The aloneness, his age, and the just sitting on a bench would concern me as well. I am not sure what I would do. But suppose he had wandered off, or run away, which is just as possible a scenario for a six year old. Asking him "does your mom know your here?" Doesn't really address anything in those situations.

And yes, the police likely were REQUIRED to call. They are mandatory reporters too. It isn't unreasonable to find the situation as a possible neglect/abuse scenario. Please note the word "possible". But even in just those cases mandatory reporters are required by law to report. Because as a society we have decided to err on the side of caution. Suppose he had been being neglected, the neighbor and police would have done a good thing. A single alleged visit from CPS does not negate that potential good to a child who has been abused.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:01 AM
 
15,797 posts, read 13,230,342 times
Reputation: 19693
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri View Post
My childhood was similar to yours except I lived in a smaller town rather then a large city. I played outside almost every single day with little to no supervision much further from home then 150 yards and I had many adventures. Maybe that is why I find this story so bizarre. It's eerie to see how rapidly things are changing. What used to be the norm (kids playing outside unsupervised) is now something worthy of a visit from CPS.

Great article! Thanks for sharing it.
He wasn't with other children though. He was alone, which definitely makes me much more likely to do something than seeing a group of children playing.

A six year old sitting alone on a bench in a park is very, very different than a bunch of kids playing. Btw, isolation and not playing with ones peers can be a sign of abuse. So that important fact definitely changes the situation.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:02 AM
 
15,797 posts, read 13,230,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Insane. I'm really surprised the CPS came so soon, and based only on this complaint.
Based on the timing, it is most likely the police actually called cps.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:09 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,246,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
He wasn't with other children though. He was alone, which definitely makes me much more likely to do something than seeing a group of children playing.

A six year old sitting alone on a bench in a park is very, very different than a bunch of kids playing. Btw, isolation and not playing with ones peers can be a sign of abuse. So that important fact definitely changes the situation.
Depends on if there are other kids around or not. If there's other kids playing and one child is sitting alone then that could be a sign of something wrong, but there isn't any mention of whether or not other kids were out. I see the 7 year old girl I mentioned earlier wandering around or sitting by herself a lot - its not because there's issues, its because the other kids aren't around (different school hours, that kind of thing)
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Old 09-18-2014, 06:36 AM
 
23,985 posts, read 31,219,893 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
So suppose you are walking in a park (this boy was not in his yard or in anyway on his own property) and see a very small child sitting alone with no adult supervision. Would you do nothing?

I am not sure what I would do in that situation, but I am fairly sure it wouldn't be nothing.

There are also a couple of things you are also leaving out. We have one side of this story, the mom's. Maybe things are exactly as she said, but maybe they are not. Two sides and all that.

Finally, you seem to not understand what CPS is for. CPS isn't who is called AFTER conducting your own investigation (most of us are not trained professionals) but rather the people who are called INITIALLY when something seems amiss. Now for you maybe a 6 yr alone in a public place does not seem odd to you. It does to others. When it comes to child safety, we should all err on the side of being overly cautious, the harm that is done to a parent by a CPS interview is nothing compared to a child that is abused and no one does anything for them because they fear being labeled the "busybody".
150 yards from a house? Yep...I would just walk by them. I would certainly NEVER be such a freak as to try and take them anywhere. We have kids outside everywhere in my neighborhood. I cannot imagine living somewhere like this.
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Old 09-18-2014, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,569,089 times
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I feel horrible to see any child hurt or involved in a tragic situation BUT, life isn't without risk for anyone, at any age. At what point do we allow them to take risks? They have the same change of getting injured or killed inside or in their moms car as they do playing outside at that age. Walking to school is actually safer than being dropped off in a car. Most schools are further than 150 yards from the house.

I am worried we are going too far. The sad truth is, like me, parents are not allowing children to play outside anymore in fear a well meaning nosy neighbor will call the police. Not only is this telling the child that his parents have made the wrong choices but it is creating abnormal fears in children which will lead to abnormal fears as adults, which we will then condemn.

I use to let my boy run around the neighborhood, I don't this year. Not because I'm afraid of abduction, but I'm aware now that playing outside as a kid is a lost option. It lost out to fear, and overly protective adults with time on their hands.

We yell at parents who hover over their college age children, calling them helicopter parents. Yet, we encourage them to have this behavior and set the stage for it by arresting parents for letting their kids play outside, go to the park, walk to school, etc.

Parents aren't perfect, expecting them to be is ridiculous. She should have just talked to the mom, or helped communally by keeping an eye out for the kid until she saw they were ok. Not call the cops. What happen to having a neighborhood that helps take care of all the kids like I had as a youngster. People are loners now, and fear rules their behavior.
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Old 09-18-2014, 08:25 AM
 
8,547 posts, read 5,287,811 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Then that means it's a self-perpetuating cycle.

Perhaps if the parents on a street got together to discuss something radical like...having their children play outside together, then maybe things would change.

People look down on urban environments but I believe more urban children play outside. In a place like NYC, keeping kids cooped up in apartments would be unbearable.

Another crazy thing I did: I walked to and from school every day.
I agree. It is a self perpetuating cycle. If all or even most parents let their kids play outside then there would be plenty of kids outside playing and then the kids would have the "safety in numbers" and they could play together, like they used to, without all of the fear.

I walked to school as well, without parents beginning in Kindergarten.
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Old 09-18-2014, 08:29 AM
 
8,547 posts, read 5,287,811 times
Reputation: 9120
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
150 yards is 50% longer than a football field. That is really far. So he wasn't anywhere near his door. And from the pictures in your own link, it was a lightly wooded area, you wouldn't be able to tell which of the many houses in such a large area were his. Remember it is the one side of the story from the mom, which claims if she stopped whatever she was doing and went outside she could see him from the porch. Maybe yes, maybe no. But by her own admission 150 yards from his own property.
Mom says that the bench was at a park which was across the street from her home in her quiet HOA community. She said that the neighbor pointed to the bench when she brought the boy home, so it was visible from the front porch.
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Old 09-18-2014, 08:35 AM
 
8,547 posts, read 5,287,811 times
Reputation: 9120
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead View Post
I feel horrible to see any child hurt or involved in a tragic situation BUT, life isn't without risk for anyone, at any age. At what point do we allow them to take risks? They have the same change of getting injured or killed inside or in their moms car as they do playing outside at that age. Walking to school is actually safer than being dropped off in a car. Most schools are further than 150 yards from the house.

I am worried we are going too far. The sad truth is, like me, parents are not allowing children to play outside anymore in fear a well meaning nosy neighbor will call the police. Not only is this telling the child that his parents have made the wrong choices but it is creating abnormal fears in children which will lead to abnormal fears as adults, which we will then condemn.

I use to let my boy run around the neighborhood, I don't this year. Not because I'm afraid of abduction, but I'm aware now that playing outside as a kid is a lost option. It lost out to fear, and overly protective adults with time on their hands.

We yell at parents who hover over their college age children, calling them helicopter parents. Yet, we encourage them to have this behavior and set the stage for it by arresting parents for letting their kids play outside, go to the park, walk to school, etc.

Parents aren't perfect, expecting them to be is ridiculous. She should have just talked to the mom, or helped communally by keeping an eye out for the kid until she saw they were ok. Not call the cops. What happen to having a neighborhood that helps take care of all the kids like I had as a youngster. People are loners now, and fear rules their behavior.
Yeah, this bothered me to. The kids saw their mother being questioned by the police and by child protective services. The kids were asked questions by the CPS worker that were related to abuse and neglect but not related to the case at hand. These topics included pornography. I really think that the response will turn out to be more damaging to this family then anything else.

Here is the link to the blog post where the mom shares her story along with a snippet regarding the questioning of her children by the CPS worker.
Haiku of the Day: September 2014
Quote:
My kids reported that she asked questions about drugs and alcohol, about pornography, about how often they bathe, about fighting in the home. And again, I understand the need for these questions. I understand CPS investigators have an incredibly difficult job. But the conflict I feel is immense. My children were playing outside, within sight of the house, and now my 6yo and 8yo and 12yo have seen their mother spoken to -- multiple times -- as if she, herself, was a child being reprimanded. They have all been questioned, by a stranger, about whether they've ever been shown movies of other people's private parts. And no matter what I say, I can tell that they think they've done something wrong.
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Old 09-18-2014, 09:30 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,197,333 times
Reputation: 30264
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
So suppose you are walking in a park (this boy was not in his yard or in anyway on his own property) and see a very small child sitting alone with no adult supervision. Would you do nothing?

I am not sure what I would do in that situation, but I am fairly sure it wouldn't be nothing.
I do nothing everyday. I always see young children outside by themselves. They may or may not be within visual distance from their homes. I have no idea because I don't know where they all live. It's not my business unless they are visibly distressed. If they are happily playing or contently sitting somewhere, there's no reason to intervene. I have intervened in the past when a child was in distress. Simply seeing a child sitting on a bench doesn't even warrant having a conversation. There's no reason to investigate if a child isn't upset.
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