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Old 09-18-2014, 02:41 PM
 
12,913 posts, read 19,787,452 times
Reputation: 33910

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Both children sound as though they need a better home situation. If you decide to call CPS OP, call it on the adults in the house, not the 7 yr old.

 
Old 09-18-2014, 02:55 PM
 
15,187 posts, read 16,039,895 times
Reputation: 25076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vesiege View Post
Me, my sister and mother all want Julia out of the house. My grandma told us that she has called Horizon to get her into therapy and on medication (assuming a different kind).
Is that sufficient enough, like legally? The way I would feel if this was done to me is I would hate coming home knowing that person is still there. I feel it would be traumatic to the kids.

Yes, my family has lots of issues. It's not even something I could even joke about that's how bad it is. The reason I say it's not that easy (I know it wouldn't be in a normal situation) is because my family are all idiots, very pig headed idiots. Trying to convince them of something is a struggle all on its own. I tried not to overstep my mom in this because she controls when I see my son. Full control. There have been points where I've made her mad over something so insignificant and I couldn't see Reid for months. I've even been blackmailed by her in order to see him.
So calling the authorities and having everyone pissed at me was fine, but knowing my mom, she would hold this against me, take away my visits and tell the court lies about me again. Thus hindering my chances of getting him back. Not to mention, she would be out on the streets. She's trying to find a place to stay, it's not like she is ok with it either.
The 7-year-old is not the problem. Her behavior is a huge red flag that someone is sexually abusing her, or that she's seeing adults have sex or watch porn or something.

So your mother, sister and grandmother already know about the sexual acting out? And your grandmother's response is to put the child in therapy or on medication?

I'm sorry you and these children are in this situation.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Camberville
11,395 posts, read 15,995,267 times
Reputation: 18034
Echoing what others have said - the 7 year old is almost certainly being molested. Your son might be as well. Not a single person in your family - yourself included - is in a position to be raising children. Please ensure your son and niece get the love, attention, support, and therapy that they need - and that can only begin by calling CPS. Foster care sounds like a much better situation for all of those children to be in than the situation they are in now. Stop the cycle of poverty, dysfunction, and lack of responsibility today.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,471 posts, read 15,905,878 times
Reputation: 38735
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
Echoing what others have said - the 7 year old is almost certainly being molested. Your son might be as well. Not a single person in your family - yourself included - is in a position to be raising children. Please ensure your son and niece get the love, attention, support, and therapy that they need - and that can only begin by calling CPS. Foster care sounds like a much better situation for all of those children to be in than the situation they are in now. Stop the cycle of poverty, dysfunction, and lack of responsibility today.
From what you posted, I agree.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,248,493 times
Reputation: 9176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vesiege View Post
Me, my sister and mother all want Julia out of the house. My grandma told us that she has called Horizon to get her into therapy and on medication (assuming a different kind).
Is that sufficient enough, like legally? The way I would feel if this was done to me is I would hate coming home knowing that person is still there. I feel it would be traumatic to the kids.

Yes, my family has lots of issues. It's not even something I could even joke about that's how bad it is. The reason I say it's not that easy (I know it wouldn't be in a normal situation) is because my family are all idiots, very pig headed idiots. Trying to convince them of something is a struggle all on its own. I tried not to overstep my mom in this because she controls when I see my son. Full control. There have been points where I've made her mad over something so insignificant and I couldn't see Reid for months. I've even been blackmailed by her in order to see him.
So calling the authorities and having everyone pissed at me was fine, but knowing my mom, she would hold this against me, take away my visits and tell the court lies about me again. Thus hindering my chances of getting him back. Not to mention, she would be out on the streets. She's trying to find a place to stay, it's not like she is ok with it either.
That bolded comment kind of makes me wonder if any of this is real. Julia said that when she's with her parents, they have sex in front of her. If this is true, would you not want to protect that child?

You're all a hot mess. I feel bad for the kids that have to deal with this.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 05:23 PM
 
15,824 posts, read 18,434,141 times
Reputation: 25604
You have got to do the right thing to protect your child, and the other children as well.

Not doing the right thing, now that you are aware makes you part of the problem, almost like an accessory. Talk to your case manager or your child's case manager, immediately.

I would certainly utilize the Soc services in your area. Your child is too young to tell anyone with words. And, just as others have said, the other children are at risk, and the oldest may have already, or still is being molested.

Who knows, if you have made great strides, and have done all the authorities ask in preparation to get your child back, they may decide to move it faster and give him back to you.

You do know your son is at risk there, that is a known. You do not know he would be at risk elsewhere.

Please call CPS immediately and share what you shared with us..and do not blame this little girl, help get her to safety along with your child and the other children asap. Call CPS immediately.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 05:35 PM
 
6 posts, read 5,648 times
Reputation: 15
Wow, so much for looking for a little help. Everyone here is just an *******. I'm sorry all your lives must be so perfect. It's hard enough dealing with severe clinical depression due to being raised by this dysfunctional family, being in an abusive relationship that cost me my son because they couldn't determine who did it, even though I had proof I wasn't even home when he was hurt, but that's fine.
Guess it doesn't matter I waited until I finished college to have a kid, or my own house and car. Just assume I'm like the rest of my trashy family.
Next time I'm in need of some common ground I'll remember I shouldn't waste my time seeking help from other people.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 06:53 PM
 
10,388 posts, read 7,467,722 times
Reputation: 18308
Hold on there skippy. There are millions of people on this forum. You're in a tough situation. It's hard to understand but there are people expressing their opinions, good or bad. That's what happens. I can see where having your mom keep your son is preferable over having a foster home keep him. Hopefully your mom loves him - I'm thinking she does.

Two things strike me. The first is the girl admits her parents have sex in front of her. Someone needs to have a serious talk with those two. I do my talking with a baseball bat sometimes...just saying... (not really) Still, they're probably telling her that it's normal and it's good and it proves love and...and....and...*barf* She's gotten those ideas from someone and now she's sharing those ideas with your son.

Second, it is WAY better not to freak out over this to the kids. The girl is old enough to be taught what's right and wrong and she obviously isn't getting that from her parents. But try not to punish her, though she's probably been yelled at and knows by now it's wrong. And of course, teach your son, too, and hopefully the adults in the house will all be on the same page about it.

Dr. James Dobson has a book out about children and sex that might be helpful. This is a great example of when you should know what to say, how to say it and not scar the kids for life.

Grandma has too much power in my opinion. Get on your feet, build a life. Get your boy back.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Wallingford, CT
1,063 posts, read 1,046,055 times
Reputation: 1218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vesiege View Post
It's hard enough dealing with severe clinical depression due to being raised by this dysfunctional family, being in an abusive relationship that cost me my son because they couldn't determine who did it, even though I had proof I wasn't even home when he was hurt, but that's fine.
You did it, because you willingly stayed with someone who kicked the **** out of him.

You want some advice? Own up to your failure. Grow up. Become more of an adult than all the losers in your family.

Report the situation to child services, so that the kid can get put into foster care and get as far away from your ****ed up family as possible. At least someone will turn out okay.
 
Old 09-18-2014, 07:45 PM
 
5,162 posts, read 2,992,030 times
Reputation: 17644
I've dealt with enough of this to be sure that what you are seeing is the tip of the iceberg. A child who is not speaking anymore is traumatized, not just subjected to commonplace children's play. Another child who is threatening suicide is experiencing more trauma than seeing something she cannot comprehend.

Trying to figure out who's doing what is a puzzle for experts to solve. And even the best of them will have to sometimes depend on theory because everyone will have a different story, a different perspective. For any of you to try to handle this on your own will be dangerous to the children.

You've told your mother you would take care of this and I hope you follow through for both of the children's sake.
That is one seriously wounded little girl.

You can't protect anyone in a family where sexual abuse is occurring. Some people will be humiliated, some people angry, others complacent. They all have to deal with their feelings at their own rate. It's not your responsibility what they feel.

Your responsibility is to protect your son and I hope, in spite of the possible loss of ground you've gained, his welfare should come first. Have you thought at all about how this may all turn out if left to its own course? How good of a mother are you going to look to social services when it eventually comes out? And eventually someone in school should notice.

Go for it. And if you aren't getting the help you need seek out an office, one at a time, higher than the one you are dealing with. I once took mistreatment of a family member all the way to the State Attorney General's office before I was heard. Please don't give up.

Stand up and keep your chin up. I wish you well.
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