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Old 10-03-2014, 10:49 PM
 
9,827 posts, read 7,738,866 times
Reputation: 17690

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Quote:
Originally Posted by pegotty View Post
Sorry, but this is is absurd. Are you implying that window shopping is morally wrong? What if the kid had money and was trying to decide how to spend it? What if he didn't have money but would be getting some for a birthday or holiday and was thinking about what he might buy?


What the OP described was not anything close to "window shopping": she wrote that her son was playing with the toys in another aisle from where she was located.

"Playing with the toys" implies actively handling the toys beyond just picking them up and examining them. If the child had been simply looking at the toys, and/or perhaps picking them up to examine them, his mother failed to make this clear in her description of his behavior. As it is, she described her son's being in a separate aisle from her own location, where he proceeded to play with the toys which were for sale and got into a verbal conflict with older children, whom he said were the aggressors (as may well have been the case).


Had the OP remained with her son (and perhaps assisted him in carefully examining the toys in which he was interested), I doubt very much if such a conflict would have taken place. No, the older kids should not have been aggressive towards the younger child - and they also should have been supervised by an adult. But the younger child should not have been playing with toys and left unsupervised.

I'm not sure where you got the idea that stores are for adults only. The displays in stores are meant for people to LOOK at them and children are actually people, too, believe it or not. There is no reason to believe her son did anything wrong or misbehaved in any way. It makes me ill when people think it's okay to treat children like second class citizens.
You are making assumptions about me which are way, way off the mark. I am not sure where you got YOUR ideas (about me)!

Of course it's fine for school-age kids to visit stores and shop. Who says "stores are for adults only"?? Not me! It's also okay for older children to shop in most neighborhood stores without adults always being along, if the circumstances are otherwise safe and if the children have been taught good shopping manners: i.e. don't open the merchandise, items for sale should not be handled excessively, do not run, do not play in the middle of the aisles (with or without playing with the merchandise), do not get into conflicts with other shoppers, including other children, be polite to store clerks and other staff, and so on. Common courtesy.

If I thought it was okay for children to be treated like second class citizens, I wouldn't have chosen a profession dedicated to children, nor would I have worked in that profession for over a quarter-century, nor would I still advocate for and support various organizations and non-profits dedicated to children's well-being, nor would I assist various young family members financially and in other ways.
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Old 10-04-2014, 09:37 AM
 
752 posts, read 541,879 times
Reputation: 1302
The bullies were throwing toys at him? In other words, they were throwing store merchandise at him? They were vandalizing store merchandise?
I probably would have reported it to the store staff, but that's a separate issue from the bullying.

If my daughter was bullied by strangers in a store, I don't know if I would say anything to them or their parent or not. Some parents wouldn't listen anyways because they raised their children that way and don't care. Just the same, part of the reason people continue bad behavior is because nobody calls them out on it. I guess it would depend on the situation.

I would definitely turn it into a teaching moment by using the situation to teach my child how there are many different kinds of people in the world, and not all of them are good, etc... (And perhaps I would give my lesson to her loudly within earshot of the brats so that maybe they would learn a little something too.)
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Old 10-08-2014, 08:25 AM
 
3,558 posts, read 4,164,247 times
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I'm not a parent but in this situation it is touchy as not being for sure. I would imagine "most" parents would stick up for their children and deny.

I feel if my child WAS a bully, I would absolutely want to know about it.

I think it this situation, it may be worth to confront the parent, ask to speak to them alone and basically say, "hi, my son just told me something you may want to hear. While I did not witness it I can't say it for sure, but as a parent I feel you may want to hear this: "xxx explain what happened," again, you know your children, but I can say this, my son is typically very honest, I just feel it may be worth mentioning to your children, and regardless of whether they id it or not, it's never a bad idea to talk to children about bullying. Sorry to bother you, but as a parent myself, it's something I would like to know."
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