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Old 09-26-2014, 12:15 AM
 
Location: Mount Laurel
4,146 posts, read 8,389,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
Wow. I'm surprised so many posters are so horrified that a teenager has tried alcohol and weed. The majority of the teens I've known in my life have drunk at parties and such, yet I don't know anyone who has progressed to using hard drugs. It is NOT that unusual for teens to partake in these activities, and it is in no way a direct relation to other drug use. Mu husband used to smoke weed and drink in his teens, however he's never ever tried anything stronger since he knew the addiction factors and terrible health effects of other drugs. I was an extremely quiet well-behaved teen but even I saw no issue with some drinking at get-togethers, however I would've been out of there in a milisecond if I was offered hard drugs.

Of course, the degree of the 'experimenting' matters a lot: it's one thing to have a beer at a party occasionally, quite another to go out and get wasted and high every weekend.
Knowing what we know today. Yes, it's horrifying since drinking isn't the cool things that teens does these days to be cool.

Work In Progress - Adolescent Brains Are A Work In Progress | Inside The Teenage Brain | FRONTLINE | PBS
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Old 09-26-2014, 12:28 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,317 posts, read 4,444,319 times
Reputation: 9731
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I think the parents, or the police need to be called. We had a kid die where I live, and the kid that gave him the drugs got 20 years. Nothing to mess around with.......
It is difficult to OD on cocaine. Statistics show that alcohol is far more dangerous and lethal, so the cocaine is not putting him in any additional physical danger. Heroin is the most lethal drug after alcohol. Both can slow your heart rate and respiration to death if you overdose.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachSalsa View Post

Yes, teens are exposed to drugs and alcohol is high school. NO, not every teen "experiments". You gave permission (!!!!!!) for him to use and drink. Unfathomable.

Time to get counseling, as others have suggested.

He will have a hard, potentially short, painful life if he continues with alcohol, pot, and now cocaine. What's next, heroin? Meth? Not much of a future for him if you don't get him help NOW.
All of these posts besides the ones i quoted underneath are misguiding, ignorant, and full of shaming. Alcohol, cocaine, and MJ do not lead to harder drugs no more than coffee leads to alcohol. What he does NOT need right now is "drug counseling" so that he can identify as a "drug user" for the rest of his life. THIS is a dangerous road as well and will expose him to actual addicts and might get him pigeon holed "in the system."

Quote:
Originally Posted by el_marto View Post
Calm down. I am 26. I first drank alcohol at 14, weed and mushrooms at 15, amphetamines, ecstasy and cocaine at 17, LSD at 18, ketamine at 20 and a variety of other more obscure psychedelics since then. Always had good school grades, excelled at university, currently just about to wrap up a PhD. Clearly this stuff hasn't ruined my life - far from it. I regret nothing, I feel fine, I am eternally grateful for being introduced to that side of life and it's something I intend to continue. It has been a privilege and I credit psychedelic experiences for so much. Not only that but I have a number of friends like this, we all seem perfectly happy, mature and psychologically healthy people. You are blowing this way out of proportion. A line of coke here and there won't matter to anything.
Same here except I only got a Masters. And we are not the only ones. I'm sure most of this ^ posters' friends, definitely all of my friends, and scores of others are all high functioning people have used illegal substances.

Not all "users" become "abusers" or "addicts." Far from it. Check the stats not the hype. Home - PubMed - NCBI

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
Wow. I'm surprised so many posters are so horrified that a teenager has tried alcohol and weed. The majority of the teens I've known in my life have drunk at parties and such, yet I don't know anyone who has progressed to using hard drugs. It is NOT that unusual for teens to partake in these activities, and it is in no way a direct relation to other drug use. Mu husband used to smoke weed and drink in his teens, however he's never ever tried anything stronger since he knew the addiction factors and terrible health effects of other drugs. I was an extremely quiet well-behaved teen but even I saw no issue with some drinking at get-togethers, however I would've been out of there in a milisecond if I was offered hard drugs.

Of course, the degree of the 'experimenting' matters a lot: it's one thing to have a beer at a party occasionally, quite another to go out and get wasted and high every weekend.
Sorry to disillusion people, but partying to this degree is the norm in many 16-23yo circles.(And yes, in many circles it is not, but this does not make either circle better or smarter than the other.) It can often be AGE APPROPRIATE and often decreases w age and/or consequences. These kids are not going to school drunk or high, they are doing what all of there peers do. But your son trying cocaine was probably not "peer pressure."

If he is as intelligent as you say he is, he is going to want to try it at least once. Why everyone doesn't try it at least once is more shocking IMHO. Most do not try it ONLY because it is "illegal." While that is good enough reason for some, for the intellectually curious, it often is not.

Do you know how many kids make their own acid and other drugs at MIT then go one to become occasional or social users and live a highly productive life? IDK what the current statistic is, but last decade when i was on campus, the rate would shock many people. Not one of this group of ~20 that i know has ever let drugs and/or alcohol interfere in their lives despite being occasional users.


My point of this mini-manifesto is do not overreact. Impose consequences for his behavior, set the rules of the house, educate him and enact clear boundaries in a dialog encouraging environment. If addiction runs in your family educate him about this as well. Addiction has a very strong genetic component unlike occasional use which does not. Educate yourselves about use vs abuse.

That is enough for now. Anything more is jumping the gun.
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Old 09-26-2014, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,317 posts, read 4,444,319 times
Reputation: 9731
Quote:
Originally Posted by sj08054 View Post
Knowing what we know today. Yes, it's horrifying since drinking isn't the cool things that teens does these days to be cool.

Work In Progress - Adolescent Brains Are A Work In Progress | Inside The Teenage Brain | FRONTLINE | PBS

This is true. Unfortunately, the very reasons why is is harmful are the same reasons why kids are not going to stop drinking anytime soon.
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Old 09-26-2014, 02:54 AM
 
77 posts, read 93,642 times
Reputation: 177
I can't believe that a parent would condone and allow their child to use illegal substances, and illegally consume alcohol underage -- for two years no less -- and especially to consider it "experimentation". Experimentation is once, maybe twice. Anything more is a drug problem. There is such a massive body of research available that shows the huge developmental, psychological and social issues that occur immediately and in future from drug use of any kind... do parents not care?

If your child was out stealing cars at night the same amount of times he is out partying, getting drunk and high... would you call it "experimentation" or "just a phase".. if he was with a group of friends, would it be OK because everyone else was doing it? What if he was going around bashing up people?

Seriously... its breaking the law, and its doing them damage, and its likely to do damage to others around them. You're turning a blind eye and allowing it to happen.
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Old 09-26-2014, 03:24 AM
 
9,289 posts, read 5,790,770 times
Reputation: 7547
I'm surprised that you're surprised your son crossed the line last weekend. He's been boozing it up and getting stoned since he was 15 years old. You never thought he could make a poor decision while impaired, wow. Get him out of his environment on the weekends, take him camping and keep him busy.
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Old 09-26-2014, 05:33 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,092 posts, read 37,733,259 times
Reputation: 73766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopian Slums View Post
It is difficult to OD on cocaine. Statistics show that alcohol is far more dangerous and lethal, so the cocaine is not putting him in any additional physical danger. Heroin is the most lethal drug after alcohol. Both can slow your heart rate and respiration to death if you overdose.



All of these posts besides the ones i quoted underneath are misguiding, ignorant, and full of shaming. Alcohol, cocaine, and MJ do not lead to harder drugs no more than coffee leads to alcohol. What he does NOT need right now is "drug counseling" so that he can identify as a "drug user" for the rest of his life. THIS is a dangerous road as well and will expose him to actual addicts and might get him pigeon holed "in the system."



Same here except I only got a Masters. And we are not the only ones. I'm sure most of this ^ posters' friends, definitely all of my friends, and scores of others are all high functioning people have used illegal substances.

Not all "users" become "abusers" or "addicts." Far from it. Check the stats not the hype. Home - PubMed - NCBI



Sorry to disillusion people, but partying to this degree is the norm in many 16-23yo circles.(And yes, in many circles it is not, but this does not make either circle better or smarter than the other.) It can often be AGE APPROPRIATE and often decreases w age and/or consequences. These kids are not going to school drunk or high, they are doing what all of there peers do. But your son trying cocaine was probably not "peer pressure."

If he is as intelligent as you say he is, he is going to want to try it at least once. Why everyone doesn't try it at least once is more shocking IMHO. Most do not try it ONLY because it is "illegal." While that is good enough reason for some, for the intellectually curious, it often is not.

Do you know how many kids make their own acid and other drugs at MIT then go one to become occasional or social users and live a highly productive life? IDK what the current statistic is, but last decade when i was on campus, the rate would shock many people. Not one of this group of ~20 that i know has ever let drugs and/or alcohol interfere in their lives despite being occasional users.


My point of this mini-manifesto is do not overreact. Impose consequences for his behavior, set the rules of the house, educate him and enact clear boundaries in a dialog encouraging environment. If addiction runs in your family educate him about this as well. Addiction has a very strong genetic component unlike occasional use which does not. Educate yourselves about use vs abuse.

That is enough for now. Anything more is jumping the gun.
"Use vs. abuse"?? LOL

For every "genius millionaire playboy philanthropist" like you and el marto, there are a hundred "users" behind you who are not so lucky.

And I'm saying that as a resident of a top-5 meth state in the US.
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Old 09-26-2014, 06:36 AM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,859 posts, read 3,718,737 times
Reputation: 15267
Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopian Slums View Post
It is difficult to OD on cocaine. Statistics show that alcohol is far more dangerous and lethal, so the cocaine is not putting him in any additional physical danger. Heroin is the most lethal drug after alcohol. Both can slow your heart rate and respiration to death if you overdose.



All of these posts besides the ones i quoted underneath are misguiding, ignorant, and full of shaming. Alcohol, cocaine, and MJ do not lead to harder drugs no more than coffee leads to alcohol. What he does NOT need right now is "drug counseling" so that he can identify as a "drug user" for the rest of his life. THIS is a dangerous road as well and will expose him to actual addicts and might get him pigeon holed "in the system."



Same here except I only got a Masters. And we are not the only ones. I'm sure most of this ^ posters' friends, definitely all of my friends, and scores of others are all high functioning people have used illegal substances.

Not all "users" become "abusers" or "addicts." Far from it. Check the stats not the hype. Home - PubMed - NCBI



Sorry to disillusion people, but partying to this degree is the norm in many 16-23yo circles.(And yes, in many circles it is not, but this does not make either circle better or smarter than the other.) It can often be AGE APPROPRIATE and often decreases w age and/or consequences. These kids are not going to school drunk or high, they are doing what all of there peers do. But your son trying cocaine was probably not "peer pressure."

.
I think most rational people will agree that not abusing drugs and partying with illegal substances makes that group far more intelligent.

Um, if he's been drinking and smoking pot for 2 years, he IS a drug user.

Your rationalization of something that is harmful and illegal is amazing. Your rationalization does not make it right.

Sometimes some shaming is good. Guilt can be a good emotion for those who are doing something wrong. For the 17 year old, drinking alcohol, smoking pot, and doing cocaine are all wrong. Too many people don't have enough shame.
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Old 09-26-2014, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Mount Laurel
4,146 posts, read 8,389,779 times
Reputation: 3409
Teen Drug Use: A Phase or Growing into an Addict | Psychology Today
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Old 09-26-2014, 07:06 AM
 
77 posts, read 93,642 times
Reputation: 177
Where is he even getting the money for his habits? Are the parents paying for this?
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Old 09-26-2014, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Mount Laurel
4,146 posts, read 8,389,779 times
Reputation: 3409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Issus View Post
Where is he even getting the money for his habits? Are the parents paying for this?
The problem is that a lot of the current substance abuse problem exists is suburban neighborhoods. Substance abuse issue is no longer something thought as happening in the inner city poor family.

The fact that the parents is allowing this to go on for 2 years is very troubling and it's not un-common. Why? Cause they don't know who to turn to for help.
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