Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Slippery slope, there -- you can't condone weed and alcohol as an "expected rites of passage" and then be surprised when they take it to the next level. "Every kid" may run into it -- but not every kid succumbs, so please stop rationalizing. You made a mistake, and your kid is paying for it. At least he was upfront with you.
Time to start parenting. No more parties with those friends. In fact, I'd be tempted to talk to the parents of the kid who gave him the cocaine and tell them what happened -- but realistically, that probably won't end well. I agree with rrah -- there needs to be consequences. Random drug test, grounding, losing license, etc.
You know, one of the things we try to "scare" kids with is dying from DUI, etc. But they are very sure it will never happen to them. What I told my kids was that "If you die in an automobile accident and you were DUI, I will be sorry and heartbroken -- you won't care, you'll be dead. But what usually happens in cases like this is that some innocent person dies -- the person in the other car, the person in the backseat -- and you end up with a regret that stays with you every day for the rest of your life. Every. Day. It twists your life in ways you can't imagine. And that's AFTER you get out of jail . . ."
THAT got their attenton.
I think the parents, or the police need to be called. We had a kid die where I live, and the kid that gave him the drugs got 20 years. Nothing to mess around with.......
I don't know why you are surprised your kid is doing coke and doubt this is the first time. This is probably just the first time he was caught.
If he was my kid, he would be grounded until he leaves for college. No parties, no car, no cell (well maybe a prepaid phone that only has like 30 minutes a month for emergencies), no after school activities unless they are supervised by an adult, etc. Actually he would have been grounded when I found out he was doing pot and alcohol at 15.
If I thought he was truely addicted, I would check him into a rehab facility and then make him pay for the cost once he got a job.
I don't know why you are surprised your kid is doing coke and doubt this is the first time. This is probably just the first time he was caught.
If he was my kid, he would be grounded until he leaves for college. No parties, no car, no cell (well maybe a prepaid phone that only has like 30 minutes a month for emergencies), no after school activities unless they are supervised by an adult, etc. Actually he would have been grounded when I found out he was doing pot and alcohol at 15.
If I thought he was truely addicted, I would check him into a rehab facility and then make him pay for the cost once he got a job.
There are two problems here. Both parents and child need to seek help. The recommendation for seeking a Family training program is a good one. Something similar to this (but not necessary a study).
He is not disregarding what you have been teaching him. He is doing exactly what you have been teaching him. You have been teaching him that drug and alcohol use is ok.
^^^this.
Yes, teens are exposed to drugs and alcohol is high school. NO, not every teen "experiments". You gave permission (!!!!!!) for him to use and drink. Unfathomable.
Time to get counseling, as others have suggested.
He will have a hard, potentially short, painful life if he continues with alcohol, pot, and now cocaine. What's next, heroin? Meth? Not much of a future for him if you don't get him help NOW.
he is not disregarding what you have been teaching him. He is doing exactly what you have been teaching him. You have been teaching him that drug and alcohol use is ok.
Luckily, he is only 17 and he obviously loves and trusts you enough to tell you the truth about what happened. Now you need to start supervising him more closely.
Like others said you need to restrict him and be a parent. Sounds like he doesn't have much time left at home anyway so it's only gonna help him. What you also need to do is explain the legal ramifications. From minor in possession, public intoxication and DUI to getting caught with pot or cocaine (or any other controlled substance). He thinks getting busted by you is bad? That's nothing compared to jail time he could face or what that means for getting a job later. It's one thing to hear your parents telling you not to do something, it's another thing knowing how long a judge can send you away. Sometimes that's the only thing that will stop kids. Once he gets to college, well that's another story but hopefully you can convince him enough to not take any risks and know what trouble with the law he could get into. I just graduated college a few months ago. I know how outrageously easy it is to access some of this stuff. If there's a will there's a way. Best to let him know now what can happen rather than he finds out the hard way.
My wife and I just had a pretty horrific weekend due to our 17 year old son. If nothing else, I would just like some anonymous advice/stories.
My son just started his senior year of high school. He has always been a good kid. Good grades, lots of friends, happy etc... no out of the ordinary problems until now. He has been experimenting with marijuana and alcohol for about 2 years now. While of course we prefer he completely abstain from marijuana and alcohol, we also understand that almost all teenagers will encounter these substances at some point. We advised him on how to be safe and educated him on the effects these substances can have. Up until now, he had been pretty responsible.
Last Saturday night, he arrived home at about 2 am from a party at his friends house. This was unusual because he usually sleeps over at a friends house when he goes out to a party. We would rather him stay at a friends house on nights where we assume he will probably be drinking because we don't want him driving home with anybody who might be intoxicated. My wife and I were awoken to the sound of him vomiting in the downstairs bathroom. After he was finished throwing up, I forced him to sit down in the kitchen to drink water and explain himself. Before we even made it to the kitchen, I noticed that his nose was bleeding and his pupils were dilated. After about 10 minutes of denial and more vomiting, he admitted that he tried COCAINE at the party. Needless to say, we were horrified. This is without question our worst nightmare. Marijuana/alcohol is one thing, but a hard drug is quite another. He swears that this was the first time he tried it but we don't know what to believe anymore. He's still in high school for crying out loud!! While I don't necessarily think he is on his way to an addiction, I still don't know how I should feel. He is a great kid in so many ways but I feel like he simply disregarded everything we have been teaching him all these years.
Calm down. I am 26. I first drank alcohol at 14, weed and mushrooms at 15, amphetamines, ecstasy and cocaine at 17, LSD at 18, ketamine at 20 and a variety of other more obscure psychedelics since then. Always had good school grades, excelled at university, currently just about to wrap up a PhD. Clearly this stuff hasn't ruined my life - far from it. I regret nothing, I feel fine, I am eternally grateful for being introduced to that side of life and it's something I intend to continue. It has been a privilege and I credit psychedelic experiences for so much. Not only that but I have a number of friends like this, we all seem perfectly happy, mature and psychologically healthy people. You are blowing this way out of proportion. A line of coke here and there won't matter to anything.
Wow. I'm surprised so many posters are so horrified that a teenager has tried alcohol and weed. The majority of the teens I've known in my life have drunk at parties and such, yet I don't know anyone who has progressed to using hard drugs. It is NOT that unusual for teens to partake in these activities, and it is in no way a direct relation to other drug use. Mu husband used to smoke weed and drink in his teens, however he's never ever tried anything stronger since he knew the addiction factors and terrible health effects of other drugs. I was an extremely quiet well-behaved teen but even I saw no issue with some drinking at get-togethers, however I would've been out of there in a milisecond if I was offered hard drugs.
Of course, the degree of the 'experimenting' matters a lot: it's one thing to have a beer at a party occasionally, quite another to go out and get wasted and high every weekend.
Calm down. I am 26. I first drank alcohol at 14, weed and mushrooms at 15, amphetamines, ecstasy and cocaine at 17, LSD at 18, ketamine at 20 and a variety of other more obscure psychedelics since then. Always had good school grades, excelled at university, currently just about to wrap up a PhD. Clearly this stuff hasn't ruined my life - far from it. I regret nothing, I feel fine, I am eternally grateful for being introduced to that side of life and it's something I intend to continue. It has been a privilege and I credit psychedelic experiences for so much. Not only that but I have a number of friends like this, we all seem perfectly happy, mature and psychologically healthy people. You are blowing this way out of proportion. A line of coke here and there won't matter to anything.
We have come a long way in studying the brain especially with brain imaging. Do some more research on long term effects of drugs such as cocaine. You may think you feel fine. There has been enough research and findings to contradict what you feel.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
