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Old 09-30-2014, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
4,793 posts, read 6,506,601 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
Evictions are for TENANTS. Someone who has signed a lease.
Evictions are for people living in the premises. They do not have to have a lease. Unfortunately at one time we had to do this with a family member who would have been given the house had he acted responsibly.
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Old 10-01-2014, 12:06 AM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 2,947,722 times
Reputation: 8439
I would rent her an apartment in a distant city. Far enough away that she won't come crying home if she can't pay the rent. I would pay her moving costs and her first few months rent, and would tell her it was because the distant city had more jobs. I would stay in touch by phone and would direct her to a jobs center, and would call her everyday to ask her if she's at the jobs center that day and what kind of luck she's having. Then if she ever asks to come home, I would explain that because of all the problems you had getting along with her, she should go live with some other relative or friend until she gets a job. But say it in a positive way. Such as that you were dragging her down and you want her to be free of your influence so she can get a good job faster. And keep calling her every day to ask how her job search is coming and give her sincere suggestions. But never break down and let her come home. If she even hints at such a thing, tell her that would not work and would hinder her job search so you aren't going to allow it. The fact that you're calling her every day might make her hate you temporarily, but over the long run will tell her you care. In a family, no matter how messed up, caring is important. So don't stop calling daily till she gets a job. Then once a week to see how the job is going. And keep encouraging her to do the things she needs to do to be successful in that job. Young people often have attitude problems because they don't understand the implications of attitude. Help clarify that, and know that if she hates you for it, that hatred will be temporary. And always say everything in such a way that it can be construed as positive, helpful, and friendly, no matter how bad things get, and no matter how much she construes it otherwise. If she cuts you off and won't take your calls, take a break and forget about her, then call her again after the break, which might be a few days or a few weeks, depending on the situation.
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Old 10-01-2014, 12:17 AM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 2,947,722 times
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Another thing to remember is that if she ever becomes homeless, and tries to use that as an excuse to come home, you have to stay firm and not allow her to come home. Homelessness is a valuable experience, because it makes her understand and appreciate the world more. People who have been homeless at least once, often turn out to be happier when they get older, than people whose lives have been peaches and cream. If you come from a nice easy background, the slightest real world frustration is going to be harder for you to bear. But you can't explain all that to her. She will just hate you more passionately for trying to explain that kind of stuff. So just tell her you have a strict rule that she can't come home till she keeps a job long enough to become independent and stable, and that even though it doesn't make sense to her at the time, it will make sense when she's older, and she will realize you were doing what was best for her.

And whatever else you do, never let her influence you with her bad luck, tears, anger, or anything. Loving your own child can often get hard, like a boat in a storm, but you have to steer a steady course, and treat all waters the same, storm or calm. That's what real love for your child really is.
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Old 10-01-2014, 02:34 AM
 
33,041 posts, read 12,506,296 times
Reputation: 20936
Quote:
Originally Posted by longnecker View Post
Evictions are for people living in the premises. They do not have to have a lease. Unfortunately at one time we had to do this with a family member who would have been given the house had he acted responsibly.
This is the way it works in most states.

The best bet is the order of protection and eviction proceedings, followed by changing the locks.

A 24 y/o without a job who is combative has mental health issues that counseling and possibly medication might help. Insisting that she move might motivate her to seek the help she needs.

In many communities being homeless provides access to mental health counseling and a variety of other services. Check out your local homeless services. If there is a shelter, soup kitchen, or community mental health center they will be able to give you contact information.

This is just so sad.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,035 posts, read 7,199,948 times
Reputation: 49976
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLShorty4lyfe View Post
WTF is wrong with people? You;re the second person to suggest renting an apartment for a full grown adult! So.. put the rent in her name, and then 3 months when the rent needs to be paid? You know who's credit goes to crap? The mom! Holy crap, i'm sorry but if i am renting my child a place to live, i have failed at raising them. Period.


It depends on who's name is on the lease. It would obviously have to be in the daughters name. My friend was a realtor and she put the lease in her son's name. I have a friend at work who's grand daughter moved into an apartment with her boyfriend. Both of their names were on the lease. He moved out and she couldn't afford the apartment alone so she moved out. The complex sued her and won a judgement because she was the primary on the lease. She's a twenty something living with my friend now so she can pay the judgement. One size does not fit all, especially in this economy. Sometimes good people fall on hard times with the loss of a job, or sometimes they are inexperienced and make stupid mistakes. I think they deserve a break. The ones that want to use, abuse, and not grow up are the ones that need to be kicked to the curb.
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Columbus, OH
575 posts, read 934,826 times
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And do NOT pay for an apartment for her. She's 24 years old. She needs to grow up and learn some responsibility. I see so many people my age taking advantage of their parents because the parents let 'em. Stop enabling your adult kids. They're adults! You can afford a studio or at least a room to rent working minimum wage, trust me.

Paying for your kids' apartments will not teach them responsibility. How do I know? Because I know people my age whose parents pay for everything for them and all they do is sit around, mooch off their parents, and party a lot. It'd be one thing if she was actually making a good faith effort to better herself - then I could understand maybe helping her out with a deposit or something - but she isn't. She's using you.
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:44 AM
 
3,753 posts, read 2,906,245 times
Reputation: 11954
The point of paying for an apartment for her isnt to not teach her responsibility, its to get her OUT OF THE HOUSE. Why don't people understand that? The OP is in a bad situation, any way to get her to move, she should do it. Just don't put the apartment in your name, put it in the kid's name.

Can't do much more than that for her, and much easier than going thru an eviction process.
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:48 AM
 
4,542 posts, read 4,464,891 times
Reputation: 3481
Hire a good looking guy to take her on a vacation to a far away country, then have good looking guy swipe her passport money and then cancel her plane ticket. and leave her in said country. Maybe do Malta, New Zealand somewhere far away.
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Old 10-01-2014, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Mexifornia
913 posts, read 735,642 times
Reputation: 920
I always read that when a girlfriend kicks her boyfriend out, she throws his stuff outside and there are no repercussions for her.

You can do the same thing, throw her stuff out to the curb.
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Old 10-01-2014, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Aiken, South Carolina, US of A
1,752 posts, read 3,622,157 times
Reputation: 3521
jiferna,
The original op,
Yes, you can take her stuff out and change the locks.
Seriously.
She's aggresive, so you do what you have to do to protect
yourself.
There is no mention in your post as to her being unemployed at all.
GET RID OF HER NOW!
Don't give her a key, EVER.
She's too old to be in your home in the first place.
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