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Old 10-01-2014, 06:03 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV
2,761 posts, read 2,254,279 times
Reputation: 4794

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Quote:
Originally Posted by eric351982 View Post
I think she was just being cute by emailing it. Think of ways you can cut back in other ways to save money. I say have the second child! No time will be perfect.
Yes.. this.. that's all it was. I know she wants one so bad... hell she was ready to go soon after she gave birth to our daughter. She's 26... she's got plenty of time ticking on that clock.
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Old 10-01-2014, 06:07 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV
2,761 posts, read 2,254,279 times
Reputation: 4794
Quote:
Originally Posted by azurabug View Post
How old are you two? I'm only asking because a lot of people here seem to think that your wife emailing you was inappropriate. I'm in my mid-20s and I don't find it inappropriate. She was probably just trying to be cute like the other poster said.

Anyway, you need to do what you want to do. Do you want another child? If so, then maybe you can tell your wife to revisit the subject once your first-born turns 2? It's recommended that women wait 2 years between pregnancies anyway for health reasons. If you don't want more kids period, then that's an entirely different story. I'm a one and done person and do NOT want more children for several reasons. One of which being the amount of time and energy even one child takes. I honestly feel like my family is complete the way it is.

And really, people... his wife is going to "accidentally" get pregnant? If that happens, they have a lot more issues than just wondering if they want another child or not.

I just turned 31 a few days ago... my wife is 26. So there's plenty of time for #2 to come along, especially for her.

I'd rather work extra now and hopefully get more financially sound before proceeding with another child, she knows that... she knows it's the smart thing to do. As someone said on the last page of this thread, women/mothers just have that urge.. that desire.. I get it. I know it won't go away... she knows it too... we'll be smart about this and do it when it's right.
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Old 10-01-2014, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Fishers, IN
3,854 posts, read 4,260,125 times
Reputation: 3959
Quote:
Originally Posted by psurangers11 View Post
Hi all... this thread doesn't specifically have to be just for the dads, moms can put in their 2 cents as well! Just want to hear how others have reacted or what they thought as soon as this is brought up.

My wife sends an email to me just 20 minutes ago... the subject line says "Just a thought".

The message in the email... "I want to have another baby".

We have an 18-month old daughter who's just wonderful... I know the "plan" has been to have at least 2 kids at minimum. I currently have a career job that I work for making mid $40K per year and she works making roughly $30k per year. I also work a part time gig to just help make ends meet and try and put extra money away when possible.

So my initial reaction is, "wow... I would probably need a third job"! LOL...

Ugh... it's like... as much as I'd love that 2nd child, I'm exhausted from working so much just to make things work now!

How have others fared when this has come up? Just curious...
After 2 kids, my wife keeps dropping hints about vasectomies so I don't think I'll have this problem. lol For the record, our daughter was just 13-months when we got pregnant with our second.
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,300 posts, read 20,557,796 times
Reputation: 20185
We had this discussion for a third child. I wanted one and he didn't. We didn't talk about it much, mostly his "I am done", and me "then get fixed". He got fixed, we have two! Worked out for the best, I don't think I personally could have handled three kids!!
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:12 AM
 
Location: NYC
11,828 posts, read 7,704,170 times
Reputation: 12814
Quote:
Originally Posted by psurangers11 View Post
I just turned 31 a few days ago... my wife is 26. So there's plenty of time for #2 to come along, especially for her.

I'd rather work extra now and hopefully get more financially sound before proceeding with another child, she knows that... she knows it's the smart thing to do. As someone said on the last page of this thread, women/mothers just have that urge.. that desire.. I get it. I know it won't go away... she knows it too... we'll be smart about this and do it when it's right.
If you need a 2nd job to support your family you are not gonna make it in this economy. In the next few years there will be another recession and you may lose one or both jobs then what would you do?

You should spend more time researching ways to further your career for higher pay and more job security.

What's the point having kids that you will never be with because you are stuck at 2 jobs. I can't understand anybody who would want to have kids and they're at work 75% of the day and come home only for sleep.

Moderator Cut

Last edited by Jaded; 10-01-2014 at 08:46 PM.. Reason: Too rude.
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Old 10-01-2014, 11:08 AM
 
291 posts, read 294,645 times
Reputation: 577
I agree that it might be baby fever.

However, as much as that YouTube video was over-justifying her personal choice, I have to agree that a two year old and a newborn is pure hell. Mine were 2.5 years apart since I thought that was recommended but I'd do 3.5 years in a heartbeat if I could do it over.

That said, honestly it's a personal decision. No there is no good time economically to have a second child. But there are a ton of benefits to having a sibling--I am SO GLAD to have my sister as an adult--and I know that's why we wanted two. No guarantees in life, of course, but it's nice to have one another person to help you with your parents when you grow up.

It might be useful for you two to plan. Like, here is where I want to be in two years career-wise, and this is what I'm going to do to make it happen. If it happens in two years, then we'll start. If it doesn't, then we will look at alternatives, for example, itaking split shifts for a couple years so the kids are not in day care, or looking at moving nearer to a grandparent (that is just an example, who knows what is possible in your specific situation), whatever.

$70k isn't that much to provide everything for your kids from music to lessons to quality daycare. I hear you. Good luck.
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Old 10-01-2014, 11:12 AM
 
1,821 posts, read 1,986,003 times
Reputation: 2576
When women say this it is their way of saying they are not happy in their marriage and are looking to get out. Additional children almost never help this situation and only drives up the expense and heat ache and stress for both husband and wife. So call today and have your tubes snipped. Do not put it off.
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Old 10-01-2014, 11:13 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,000,336 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by ischyros View Post
After 2 kids, my wife keeps dropping hints about vasectomies so I don't think I'll have this problem. lol
Vasectomies are awesome!
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Old 10-01-2014, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Fishers, IN
3,854 posts, read 4,260,125 times
Reputation: 3959
Quote:
Originally Posted by MmeZeeZee View Post
I agree that it might be baby fever.

However, as much as that YouTube video was over-justifying her personal choice, I have to agree that a two year old and a newborn is pure hell. Mine were 2.5 years apart since I thought that was recommended but I'd do 3.5 years in a heartbeat if I could do it over.

That said, honestly it's a personal decision. No there is no good time economically to have a second child. But there are a ton of benefits to having a sibling--I am SO GLAD to have my sister as an adult--and I know that's why we wanted two. No guarantees in life, of course, but it's nice to have one another person to help you with your parents when you grow up.

It might be useful for you two to plan. Like, here is where I want to be in two years career-wise, and this is what I'm going to do to make it happen. If it happens in two years, then we'll start. If it doesn't, then we will look at alternatives, for example, itaking split shifts for a couple years so the kids are not in day care, or looking at moving nearer to a grandparent (that is just an example, who knows what is possible in your specific situation), whatever.

$70k isn't that much to provide everything for your kids from music to lessons to quality daycare. I hear you. Good luck.
I disagree with the bolded part. My daughter and son are 21 months apart and its been great! But it could depend on the child, too. Our oldest was sleeping 12 hours at night long before her little brother was born so that helped out immensely.
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Old 10-01-2014, 12:14 PM
 
4,580 posts, read 6,145,565 times
Reputation: 5213
Just go ahead and do it. You both will find a way to make it work. Something else to consider is tomorrow isn't guaranteed. So get busy and take out more 20-30 year term life insurance and enjoy your family.

If you want another kid then go for it. Do it while young.
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