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I've been actively trying to meet people at my college who are paying their own way. Their life is much much harder than mine (and probably will continue to be harder) mainly because of their parents (And their college major, but that's another story).
I.e if you aren't an engineering/cs or a finance/accounting major, chances are you aren't going to get a paid internship. You pretty much need internships (real life experience) to land the entry level job. If you pay for everything yourself, you can't afford to work for free.
You are directly putting your kid at a distinct disadvantage. Why do you feel that passing along your genes is so important that you are willing to hurt your child's chances at a good life?
No you don't, as I got one with no internship whatsoever. Internships are usually nothing more than a resume booster or a trial period with a company that wants to see how you work before they hire you. They ADD to your chances to get an interview, but it's erroneous to believe they are required to get a job. My friend for example did no internship and got an interview at a job place with a few of her classmates that did. Even though they all did internships and got glowing recommendations my friend got the job because she was able to explain technical network issues that they fumbled over. All an internship or a degree *for most degrees* is going to do is assure you an interview. If you don't impress the hiring manager or know what you are talking about, then you are going to end up having a hard time finding a job, no matter how stellar the place you interned at is.
I'm also well aware that some people get jobs because they know people, but the same reality applies. If you have not a clue about what you are talking about then you won't be in the job very long.
When I was at university there was a large Asian cohort - they all drove very nice cars and one day when I mentioned I had to hurry to catch the bus home, one said - "I don't understand, why hasn't your father bought you a car?"
He could speak English well enough to cope with university, but could not make sense of me saying "my dad would never buy me a car, nor do I expect him too..."
car != college education. In the post after this you say that a college degree is a new necessity. In America, college is expensive. It's callous to put your kid in tens of thousands of debt before they reach the age of 20.
I don't think not paying for college is a big deal. Heck, college is constantly becoming more and more accessible for people at any age (night classes, community college, online classes) so going directly to college at 18 isn't as important as it used to be 20+ years ago when it required attending a brick and mortar and living in a dorm. A lot of people don't start college until their late 20s, 30s or even 40s when they're more mature and really know what they want to do. What's more important is to raise appreciative, mentally/physical healthy people that know the value of a dollar and how to manage their money.
car != college education. In the post after this you say that a college degree is a new necessity. In America, college is expensive. It's callous to put your kid in tens of thousands of debt before they reach the age of 20.
You seem to be unaware of options other than sending your 18 year old to Harvard. It's callous for a kid to expect their parent to go into debt so they can leisurely stroll through 4 years of partying. If a kid wants to go to college, they can get a job, study part time, study online, study at night, work at night, work all day, work during breaks, bla... bla... bla... it's like almost an entire country forgets that the legal working age is 14/16 and the money saved between then and college entrance can easily pay for the first year or 2 - especially if that's done at a community college which... why wouldn't you do that? Then the money earned during those 2 years can at least pay for the 3rd year... and then the 4th can be paid 'as they earn' and if that means finishing off part-time, at least they finished. Where the heck does debt come from?
Kicking a kid out of your home at 18 - now THAT's callous. Expecting them to pay for their own education while you house and feed them and probably also pay for their car, phone and clothes? Big deal.
When people bring up what all parents should be obligated to pay for, why stop at 4-8 of college - why shouldn't parents also pay for their child's first home and their first new luxury car? Might as well also have $50k set aside to start their savings account. All this would really set them up for life (and yes, I've seen it done). The bottom line is that parents are responsible for raising their child until 18 years of age - at that point, their obligation ends and any other financial help should be considered a blessing from the child's perspective. If a parent wants to introduce their child to the real world at 18 or 19, they can do that too and the child will get no pity from me. Granted, hopefully the parent did a little forward thinking and raised a child mature enough to handle it. It would be a little irresponsible to have a big baby on their tit until 18 and then put their stuff on the front steps the day they graduate high school.
I agree. Silly, dangerous, and misleading. The only people I recall stating that a college degree is unnecessary to earn a decent living wage are people who themselves have a college education, or the teensy percentage of people who are lucky or whathaveyou. The majority of people without a college education are working very hard, and would be making more money with better education credentials, fact of life.
"Working hard" is something that people do whether they have a college education or not. My husband works forty (40) hours per week, hardly any more. On average I work a regular work week as well, but overtime is a fact of life in the industry and it makes no difference what level of education you have. The difference is that I am not an exempt employee, so every minute I work over 40 hours, I'm receiving time and one half, which can rack up $$$ pretty quickly at my rate. When we had a trial two years ago, I treated myself to a dining room set, courtesy of the overtime that I earned. I don't need it and I don't work overtime often, but when I do, it is a financial gift of sorts.
Sure, I supposed we could make even more money (and I'm sure there are a lot of people who could stand to make more money) but we are very happy with what we have and it isn't necessary that we make more money. A college degree in the field that I had studied years ago would've had me making LESS money than I do now working in a different field. Probably the one thing I can say is that the strength of my former school's name probably would've opened up tons of other doors but I can't live my life with regrets. I made a decision at 20 and I'm not about to regret anything because I've done a lot in my years since then. Made many accomplishments. I was ambitious when I was in school and I remained as such even out of it. My mother has not had to support me for a long time (since I was 20 actually).
My husband and I (and our friend) are part of a statistically small percentage, but nonetheless we are success stories. We may way more than the BLS figures and we're grateful for it. I've said ad nauseum in threads like these: We will encourage our kids to go to college. That is our first choice for them without question. However, if they choose not to continue on that path, we will encourage them to go to a trade school and get marketable, in demand skills so that they do something with their lives and achieve financial independence. Show them that there are options out there besides McJobs. Being a college dropout doesn't mean that you need to be an unskilled worker who can be replaced by robotics. That's my thoughts on the matter and that's just how *I* feel.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, my dad says he'll pay for part of my education (as long as I pay it back), but I don't want to take his money. I'd rather take out student loans to be honest.
I don't think not paying for college is a big deal. Heck, college is constantly becoming more and more accessible for people at any age (night classes, community college, online classes) so going directly to college at 18 isn't as important as it used to be 20+ years ago when it required attending a brick and mortar and living in a dorm. A lot of people don't start college until their late 20s, 30s or even 40s when they're more mature and really know what they want to do. What's more important is to raise appreciative, mentally/physical healthy people that know the value of a dollar and how to manage their money.
In the 1930s, my father took a train from suburban Pittsburgh into the city at night to go to classes at Carnegie Tech, now Carnegie Mellon University. He eventually saved enough money to go full time.
When people bring up what all parents should be obligated to pay for, why stop at 4-8 of college - why shouldn't parents also pay for their child's first home and their first new luxury car? Might as well also have $50k set aside to start their savings account. All this would really set them up for life (and yes, I've seen it done). The bottom line is that parents are responsible for raising their child until 18 years of age - at that point, their obligation ends and any other financial help should be considered a blessing from the child's perspective. If a parent wants to introduce their child to the real world at 18 or 19, they can do that too and the child will get no pity from me. Granted, hopefully the parent did a little forward thinking and raised a child mature enough to handle it. It would be a little irresponsible to have a big baby on their tit until 18 and then put their stuff on the front steps the day they graduate high school.
I think most everyone is aware that parents have no obligation to support their kids past age 18. Anything after that is done b/c the parents want to.
My 2nd husband (my *last* husband) put himself through college 7,000 years ago (late 1970s). He was very poor (Appalachian poverty), got a scholarship, but also worked as a janitor for several years. Hard times, but good life lessons. He's been a litigation attorney for 30+ years now.
When it was time for his son to go to college, my husband spent many tens of thousands to put his son through four years of college. He didn't want Junior to have to work like he'd worked. (Boy, I could write an entire essay on that.)
Well, that story did not have a happy ending.
Even if you have the money to pay for a child's degree, it's not always a good thing.
We didn't have 529s back when I went to college. I had a few grants , mostly loans to cover my 4 years of nursing school . I had to finish knowing there was no other choice. My loans had to be paid back. Now I started 529s for my kids . Hopefully they'll get scholarships and grants. The rest will be loans.
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