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Old 10-07-2014, 03:20 PM
 
12,914 posts, read 19,792,997 times
Reputation: 33925

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoriBee62 View Post
And this is why I don't subscribe to the Parenting forum. It's the pretentious, snippety comments that always seem to surround topics of parenting that make my blood boil.

Got sucked in on this thread because it hit my sidebar. Next time I'll know better.

(And yes, I am paying for my son's college. I would just never dream of slamming people who can't.)
But the person you are quoting is not a parent, she's a college student.
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Old 10-07-2014, 03:32 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
Reputation: 32238
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
no. i studied the right thing, kept up a decent GPA, and did whatever I could to get real world experience. I made sure to impress my interviewer (I was told I was one of the few who actually prepared for the interview, you know research the company, research a bit into your interviewers, write thank you notes, etc). I put in more hours at my internship than anyone else working with me.

You know, instead of getting pregnant like the 20 (19?) year old screw up at the bottom of the thread page, I actually put my efforts into more productive things. It's insulting to say my life is charmed because I'm lucky. Yes, I managed to live a pretty charmed life, but it's not all luck.

Sure, I've gotten lucky, but that's only a part of it.
I didn't say you were lucky. I didn't say your life is charmed. I said you have been sprinkled with magic dust. People who have been sprinkled with magic dust are usually born on second base but think they hit a double. They're the people who have NO concept of poverty and how it affects people. They're the ones who don't stop to think about the families who lost their income during the Great Recession while they tell those families they should be putting their kids through college. They're the people who, though childless, like to tell parents what they should be doing. The problem is.... magic dust get in the eyes and interferes with seeing things properly.

Your "real world experience" has yet to begin. (It will start when you find out your boss had a child at 19 and is..... your boss. That could happen on the same day you write a REALLY large check (or hand over your VISA card) to the plumber who unclogged your toilet. Even though he didn't attend college. So, free advice: buckle up.)

Last edited by DewDropInn; 10-07-2014 at 04:09 PM..
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Old 10-07-2014, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,949 posts, read 32,676,353 times
Reputation: 57047
Quote:
Originally Posted by UTHORNS96 View Post
Not all students are developed enough upon high school graduation to be able to hold down a job AND maintain a good GPA at the same time. That doesn't make them lazy or free loaders. Some kids just can't do it. If you were able too that's good, but everybody is different. There's no one size fits all way to raise a child.

I realize that not all parents can afford to assist with college education. But to those that can, I believe they should help out. It's up to them to recognize what the particular limitations of their student are.

Just one man's opinion.
Well, of course.

The idea is that the kid has, as we've said repeatedly on this thread, "some skin in the game." Whether it's a part time job, or helping the parents out with a big project on the weekends as a gesture of gratitude, or a summer job to ease the financial burden for their parents, SOMETHING. Please don't tell me that a young adult capable of going to college, and ostensibly actually starting a career in just a few years isn't capable of helping to pay their way or their expenses in some way during college. I mean, we're talking about college here, not summer camp. If they're college material, surely they're mature and intelligent enough to contribute to the bottom line in SOME way.

For the record, I believe that if parents can help, they probably should. The exception would be for kids who are disrespectful, not applying themselves, making unrealistic demands, etc. Like you said, when it comes to this topic, one size doesn't fit all. Not all parents, not even the ones who can afford to do so, automatically "owe" their adult kids a college education. Each situation is different.
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Old 10-07-2014, 04:03 PM
 
Location: WI
2,820 posts, read 3,063,551 times
Reputation: 4815
If students won't succeed in college without having a financial skin in the game, how exactly did they succeed in high school, which is completely free of cost to them? (Assuming they went to public school. And even then, I'm not aware of many high schoolers who pay their own private school tuition.)
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Old 10-07-2014, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,949 posts, read 32,676,353 times
Reputation: 57047
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
If students won't succeed in college without having a financial skin in the game, how exactly did they succeed in high school, which is completely free of cost to them? (Assuming they went to public school. And even then, I'm not aware of many high schoolers who pay their own private school tuition.)
It's called reaching adulthood and taking on more age appropriate responsibilities.

College aged people are ADULTS. To everything there is a season.
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Old 10-07-2014, 04:48 PM
 
1,390 posts, read 1,956,580 times
Reputation: 1547
I just don't see this notion that those who have their education paid for them by their parents squander it or don't take it seriously. I attended a boarding school in high school with many wealthy students and though there were some trustafarians, the majority were very hard working. Their parents were high powered people and expected the same out of their children, almost to a fault. Some of them own their own companies now that started with seed money from their (gasp) parents. Some of them had help buying their first house. All highly successful people who's parent didn't throw them out the door to "do it on their own".

What I did see in college was kids on loans with limited help and guidance from their parents make horrible financial decisions that will haunt them for years to come. Much more so than rich kids waste their parents money.
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Old 10-07-2014, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Richmond Virginia
35 posts, read 28,540 times
Reputation: 12
Saddest thing is that college is a scam..If you are a student or have been, then you know what I mean. Why should students begin by paying for classes that they WILL NOT need?
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Old 10-07-2014, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,139 posts, read 22,112,687 times
Reputation: 35533
Quote:
Originally Posted by cptnD View Post
Saddest thing is that college is a scam..If you are a student or have been, then you know what I mean. Why should students begin by paying for classes that they WILL NOT need?
Such as?
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Old 10-07-2014, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,949 posts, read 32,676,353 times
Reputation: 57047
[quote=Boston_Burbs;36787372]

/QUOTE]

Quote:
I just don't see this notion that those who have their education paid for them by their parents squander it or don't take it seriously.
Maybe you don't see it because it didn't apply to you, and you're not the parent of a child who feels entitled to extend their adolescence into their mid twenties. If you WERE ever to be the parent of just such a child (and believe me, they're out there - in droves) then you could perhaps relate.

Quote:
I attended a boarding school in high school with many wealthy students and though there were some trustafarians, the majority were very hard working. Their parents were high powered people and expected the same out of their children, almost to a fault. Some of them own their own companies now that started with seed money from their (gasp) parents. Some of them had help buying their first house. All highly successful people who's parent didn't throw them out the door to "do it on their own".
And these are very privileged people. They are not the norm.

You know what this reminds me of - it reminds me of people who are all for a flat tax. "Flat tax - 5 percent of everyone's income!" Seems fair, right? But when I was dirt poor, five percent of my income was the difference between buying groceries or not buying groceries, or paying the electric bill or not paying it. Now that I am well off, five percent of my income doesn't make a dent in my standard of living one bit. My retirement account, yes. My daily life, no.

But the vast majority of people are middle class - or lower. For them, this sort of help simply isn't possible, because they have their own needs, and their own retirement, to tend to. They don't want to BURDEN THEIR KIDS with their needs and costs when they retire.

As the saying goes, "The best gift you can give your kids is investing in your own retirement fund." Some people have more difficult choices than others.

And some people know that it's not a given, or a necessity in life, to pay for a full college education for their kids. They know that ultimately, their childrens' success, or failure, depends on each child's character.

Quote:
What I did see in college was kids on loans with limited help and guidance from their parents make horrible financial decisions that will haunt them for years to come. Much more so than rich kids waste their parents money.[
I think the GUIDANCE part is more important than the FINANCIAL part. Just because a parent can't or won't foot the entire bill for four or more years of college doesn't mean that they can't be a real help and support for their adult kids.
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Old 10-07-2014, 05:42 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,496,624 times
Reputation: 5024
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I didn't say you were lucky. I didn't say your life is charmed. I said you have been sprinkled with magic dust. People who have been sprinkled with magic dust are usually born on second base but think they hit a double. They're the people who have NO concept of poverty and how it affects people. They're the ones who don't stop to think about the families who lost their income during the Great Recession while they tell those families they should be putting their kids through college. They're the people who, though childless, like to tell parents what they should be doing. The problem is.... magic dust get in the eyes and interferes with seeing things properly.

Your "real world experience" has yet to begin. (It will start when you find out your boss had a child at 19 and is..... your boss. That could happen on the same day you write a REALLY large check (or hand over your VISA card) to the plumber who unclogged your toilet. Even though he didn't attend college. So, free advice: buckle up.)

Listen to DewDrop, she's wise.
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