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Old 10-09-2014, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 13,791,382 times
Reputation: 4539

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart View Post
Yes i pose this question again, is it that parents are not responsible or love there children? Or is it that a college education is crazy over priced? Remember there was a time where tuition to state higher education was free in this country and when it was we had the most educated workforce in the world.
It was never free or "cheap." It was simply paid for by the taxpayers as a whole (or to a much larger extent than today). This fact seems to elude most posters on both sides of this issue.
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Old 10-09-2014, 08:40 AM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 822,382 times
Reputation: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
OP how old are you? Your story changed mid-thread, are you studying now or planning to?
my story never changed? I never said I was going to go to graduate school full time. I said my parents wanted me to go to graduate school full time and would pay for it. My story has been consistent if you search through my posts.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Hmmm, how do you know the SES of posters here? How does "class" factor into fiscal responsibility?

Salary projections are great, but since you haven't even started studying it's very hard to predict career demand or salary 5 or 10 years in the future.
This is anecdotal, but I grew up in a nice area, and even in college I hang out with people who grew up with a similar background. Most people I know didn't take out loans. My parents expected to pay for my college education (much like their parents paid for their college education). I remember when going through a college pamphlet, my mom distinctly told me to skip over the loan section. Honestly, it was only two years ago that I actually met people who were paying for college themselves. I never looked into the stats of this or anything. It was very much a shock to see it that high.

you're right, I shouldn't count my eggs before they hatch. Generally IT is doing well, and I hopefully I'll be able to stay on and compete.

Last edited by stellastar2345; 10-09-2014 at 08:55 AM..
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Old 10-09-2014, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque area
244 posts, read 182,196 times
Reputation: 1083
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Wow, after reading through this, I just hope the OP's parents are investing wisely. Success doesn't depend merely on money or degrees - ultimately it usually depends on a person's character.
I agree with you in principle, although I would swap "ultimately" with "ideally," since we all know there are successful folks who also happen to be some of the most loathsome creatures you'd ever hope to meet.

Thank you, OP, for reinforcing my belief that Introduction to Humility would not be out of place as as a Gen Ed requirement.
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Old 10-09-2014, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
3,762 posts, read 4,318,539 times
Reputation: 5982
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
This thread has made me really appreciate my parents more. They obviously care more for my success than most of you care for your children's success. It's very sad to me that this isn't a norm, but it is what it is.


I don't get offended easily - people can say just about anything to me and it'll roll right off my back. But the quoted statement above has completely offended me to the core.

To claim that I love my children less, or don't want them to succeed, just because I don't plan on paying for a full ride to college, is ignorant and dumb and stupid and foolish and...

Get this straight.

I would DIE for my children. I wouldn't even hesitate. I love my children more than I ever thought it was possible. It's an innate love that is part of my core and could never be ripped out or destroyed.

And I pray their success in life far surpasses mine.
I hope they never experience the pain of a layoff from a job (which their father and I both have experienced).
I hope they never experience the struggle of deciding to move away from family to a brand new state in order to be able to keep a roof over their heads.
I hope they never have to see their 401Ks plunge by 50% because of an economic recession. Twice.

For you to claim that ANY parent on this thread might not love their children because they don't want to (or can't) spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a college degree is so completely offensive that I'm shocked you dared to post your comment. You have NO CLUE about a parent's love for their child, despite your clear assertion that your parents are the best at it and better than the rest of us.

Love is teaching my children to do their best, work hard, be polite, do the right thing simply because it's the right thing to do, practice self-control and always aim to improve one's self.
Love is providing food and shelter and clothing and band-aids on skinned knees, and hugs when friends are mean, and kisses on the cheek for no reason, and assurances that they are loved no matter what.

Love is not reflected by how much money I spend on them.
Love does not equal a full ride to college if it cannot be afforded.

You have a lot to learn, kiddo. And it's stuff you won't learn in college no matter HOW much your parents spend on it.
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Old 10-09-2014, 09:25 AM
 
Location: My House
33,237 posts, read 27,037,805 times
Reputation: 24548
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
Yes, it's parental failure to pay for graduate school. How dare my parents try to make my life better when they have the means to. They should be making me struggle. It builds so much character being in thousands of dollars worth of debt and struggling to pay bills throughout your life.

This thread has made me really appreciate my parents more. They obviously care more for my success than most of you care for your children's success. It's very sad to me that this isn't a norm, but it is what it is.
My parents did not go to college. I did. They did not pay for me to go to college. This does not mean they do not love me.

What a ridiculous thing to say!
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Bloomington, indiana
53 posts, read 59,045 times
Reputation: 73
This has been an interesting post to read through. Getting an education is very helpful for most of us but there are a lot of successful entrpeneurs who didn't go to college. There are also a lot of trade careers that do not require college although some advanced learning is always required.

I believe that preparing children for success comes from leading by example. Teaching them right from wrong. Showing them a solild work ethic and being accountable and responsble. Supporting them when they are young and helping them as you are able when they are old enough to work for themselves. It doesn't mean you have to pay for college.

I got my first job at 16 and have always had a job ever since. That was 40 years ago. I also managed to get an engineering degree and an MBA several years after that but I always worked while going to school. My parents did pay my undergrad tuition but at the same time I paid for my own car, most of my own living expenses and all of my entertainment. Once I graduated, I never asked them for another dime. My parents didn't help at all with grad school although my employer did. Many large organization still do offer tuition assistance to employees.

Twenty years ago I had a plan to pay for my kids college. Then a very expensive divorce and unplanned career set-back changed my plans completely. I am no longer in a position to pay tuition for my kids. I will help them by continuing to cover medical expenses, transportation and insurance, telephone bills, food money etc... Tuition money however needs to be borrowed or earned by them. As someone else said, it's much smarter financially to borrow tuition than to risk retirement funds that you don't have time to replace before your earning years are behind you.

There is absolutely no correlation between how much a parent cares for their children and how much money they spend on an education. There are many people in this world who simply can not afford to pay for college for their kids but most of them care very deeply for their children.
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:29 AM
 
779 posts, read 487,848 times
Reputation: 398
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I read this article
Fewer parents helping to pay for college - Jun. 26, 2014

I don't know much about their sources or anything, but it's saying only 77% of parents plan to help their kids out with college.

Why have a kid if you don't want to (or have the means to) help the kid succeed?

Say what you like about college, but good luck moving anywhere without a college degree.

Even a masters degree is becoming a pre req for a lot of good jobs.

Why have a kid at all? Whatever your answer is to that question that is why someone would have a kid without giving them a free ride to college.

Kids are very capable of getting scholarhips, grants, part-time jobs, and loans. Contrary to popular belief, one does not have to take out a loan and go to a school as expensive as NYU to come out making a decent or better living in this country. One could easily attend a community college, transfer to a state school that has an agreement with your community college and then go into the work force. A kid could also get an apprenticeship or go to a trade school and eventually take business classes in order to become management or owner material.

It is also possible that you have a narrow view of success. There are still jobs that do not require a degree which can lead to having a comfortable lifestyle as well as well as some that simply require other qualifications in order to make a nice living.
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:47 AM
 
Location: mainland but born oahu
6,657 posts, read 6,177,381 times
Reputation: 3121
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
It was never free or "cheap." It was simply paid for by the taxpayers as a whole (or to a much larger extent than today). This fact seems to elude most posters on both sides of this issue.
No i disagree it was cheaper backthen even with the taxpayers paying. Wanna know what the difference is? The difference is in my grandparents generation if you made a million in profits it was something to celebrate and an accomplishment. Today a billion or trillion in profits is never enough. The cost of things continueing to rise reflects that.
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Old 10-09-2014, 11:53 AM
 
Location: NYC
11,845 posts, read 7,758,477 times
Reputation: 12829
College is really optional so kids should start taking ownership and responsibility. Parents should provide some assistance but there are plenty of loans and aid out there for students. Parents need to watch their own money because who is going to take care of your retirement?
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Old 10-09-2014, 12:43 PM
 
726 posts, read 666,636 times
Reputation: 1710
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
here's something you may be interested in:

Here's What College Education Costs Students Around The World - Business Insider

college in the UK is pretty affordable. 5k/year on average as opposed to 13k/year average.
I think that article is just wrong. Three or four years ago the tuition fees were capped at 9000 / $14,500 per year, and now all of the universities except low-end ones that no one cares about are charging this maximum. Now 9000 is the standard but the government is talking about raising it to 16,000 / $26,000 per year. I spent 5 years as an undergraduate and when you count my other student loans aside from tuition that I needed to live on during my years as an undergraduate, I owe 36,500 / $59,000. I would never dream of asking my parents for that, they couldn't come up with it even if they wanted to.
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