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Old 10-05-2014, 07:15 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,860 posts, read 3,721,576 times
Reputation: 15267

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
What' wrong with the children doing without their parents help and learning to live on nothing while working and going to college?
The best success a parent can give a child is to teach them how to be independent and earn everything they want.
Earning more than minimum wage is rare. Working enough hours to pay tuition, pay rent, pay expenses is very difficult for today's college student. Even more difficult if the student wants to be involved in campus groups, etc. My oldest was so proud of himself when he announced to me that he would be saving money by moving off campus into a really cheap apartment with 3 buddies one year. That "really cheap" apartment was infested with roaches and mice. Whenever he came home, he inevitably brought home a roach or 2 that had hidden in his backpack or luggage or whatever. Suddenly, I was fighting roaches. That "cheap apartment" became really expensive with pest control, stress, and anxiety. Never again. <shudder>

Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
A parents responsibility ends when that child turns 18 years old, after that you all say you are adults and you want to be treated as such. So go out get a job or two, pay for your own college, utilities, rent, groceries, insurance, gasoline, cell phones, lap tops, clothing and food.
Be an actual adult and earn everything you want.

You are taking the easy way out and not sacrificing much by living with Mom and Dad.
My kids' jobs while in college are maintaining their grades, thus keeping their scholarships, which are all academic. What their scholarships are worth are FAR MORE than they could ever earn while working part time during the school year. Also, they would have to sacrifice being involved in campus clubs, which are important to their majors, thus giving them both networking advantages and leadership experience within their area of studies.

My kids all know that if they wish to live at home after college to work and save money, they are more than welcome to do so. Will they have some expenses while living at home? Sure! But the quality of their living area will be far superior for a lot less money than some trashy apartment, thus allowing them to save and invest, and then later move to their own homes as they save money.
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:58 PM
 
12,926 posts, read 19,812,959 times
Reputation: 33967
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I should clarify, but I'm really not arguing people should pay 100% for their children's education, but you should at least have something saved up to help your child out.

btw, I also received scholarships, and I've been working part time since the age of 16. The total cost of my college education will be 50k (it could have been around 5k less if I lived in a cheaper place, but my parents insisted I live where I currently live).

//50k isn't going to make or break my parents retirement funds (my parents have made it a point to share their finances with me in order to teach me about savings, spending, investments, etc).

If 50k makes or breaks your retirement fund, maybe you should get a financial planner.

I really don't think finding a way to save up around 50k per child in 18 years is really too much of a sacrifice to ensure your kid has a decent start in life. It's around $2,800/year per child if you saved up from birth. If you can't put that much away a year per child, should you really be reproducing?

**I think 50k is a reasonable amount. It's two years ticket price (including room, books, and food) at a typical state school. You really shouldn't be paying ticket price for any college, in my opinion.
So basically what you are advocating is a class society, where only people who fit your socioeconomic parameters should have children? So much for a college education broadening your horizons.

Many people are quite happy and self sufficient without a college education. And we need accomplished trade workers more than we need multitudes of new engineers or attorneys.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:00 PM
 
2,159 posts, read 3,737,126 times
Reputation: 2136
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I read this article
Fewer parents helping to pay for college - Jun. 26, 2014

I don't know much about their sources or anything, but it's saying only 77% of parents plan to help their kids out with college.

Why have a kid if you don't want to (or have the means to) help the kid succeed?

Say what you like about college, but good luck moving anywhere without a college degree.

Even a masters degree is becoming a pre req for a lot of good jobs.
No one paid for my college. I am not going to pay for my child's. Wanting your kid to succeed doesn't mean that you pay their way for it.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:02 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,862,490 times
Reputation: 61846
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
If you think a $8/hr job is going to pay the $20k/year costs of going to college (public college by the way), maybe you should retake a math class or two.

Not to mention working 40/hrs a week and majoring in a technical STEM field or accounting/finance (realistically the only subjects that will lead to a decent job out of college) with a respectable GPA isn't exactly achievable for the average person.

In my Comp Sci program, the only people who work full time at any job are the people going back to college. Of those people going back to college, 75% work for the college (thus going to college for free) AND are taking around 7 years to get their degrees (They can only take 1 or 2 classes at a time).

I don't need to "retake" anything, I know exactly what sacrifice is since I paid my own way through college without my parents help and I had children and a full time job and a husband and home to tend to while I did it.

Perhaps you should learn what the real world is like outside of mom and dad's protective bubble.

It only took me 4 years to get my degree, so please tell me how much exactly you are sacrificing?

PS ~~ My GPA was 4.0.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Palmer/Fishhook, Alaska
1,256 posts, read 875,864 times
Reputation: 1895
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I've been actively trying to meet people at my college who are paying their own way. Their life is much much harder than mine (and probably will continue to be harder) mainly because of their parents (And their college major, but that's another story).

I.e if you aren't an engineering/cs or a finance/accounting major, chances are you aren't going to get a paid internship. You pretty much need internships (real life experience) to land the entry level job. If you pay for everything yourself, you can't afford to work for free.

You are directly putting your kid at a distinct disadvantage. Why do you feel that passing along your genes is so important that you are willing to hurt your child's chances at a good life?
You're seriously blaming the parents???

Sounds typical of the younger generation. Blame mommy and daddy for the fact junior has to have just a teensy little bit of struggle as a young adult.

SMH
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:24 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
28,441 posts, read 50,681,531 times
Reputation: 28731
I wonder how they found the people they surveyed. I find it amazing that 77% of parents say they plan to help their child pay for college, and hard to believe it was 81% last year. For one thing, only 65% of high school graduates even go to college.

Whether the parents help financially or not, I still believe the students even in high school benefit from part-time jobs, to learn responsibility, time management, the truth about taxes, and to appreciate things more when they have to pay for at least part, and that includes their education.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:34 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,500,250 times
Reputation: 5024
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I should clarify, but I'm really not arguing people should pay 100% for their children's education, but you should at least have something saved up to help your child out.

btw, I also received scholarships, and I've been working part time since the age of 16. The total cost of my college education will be 50k (it could have been around 5k less if I lived in a cheaper place, but my parents insisted I live where I currently live).

//50k isn't going to make or break my parents retirement funds (my parents have made it a point to share their finances with me in order to teach me about savings, spending, investments, etc).

If 50k makes or breaks your retirement fund, maybe you should get a financial planner.

I really don't think finding a way to save up around 50k per child in 18 years is really too much of a sacrifice to ensure your kid has a decent start in life. It's around $2,800/year per child if you saved up from birth. If you can't put that much away a year per child, should you really be reproducing?

**I think 50k is a reasonable amount. It's two years ticket price (including room, books, and food) at a typical state school. You really shouldn't be paying ticket price for any college, in my opinion.
Ok. I'm going to try one more time. The median family income in this country is around 50k with median take home pay around $3k a month (actually a little less). That's your average American family. So yes, saving $5600 (cause the average family also has TWO kids) a year can be a hardship, it's more than 15% of their yearly income.

Your "get a financial advisor" suggestion is to many people a "let them eat cake" kind of reaction. 50k in retirement funds is a lot of money to a lot of people, the average retirement account is around 100k.

I was raised in a wealthy family, had a paid for education, and my own family has been financially successful. But I'm mature enough to realize that not everyone has led the privileged life that I have. Spend a few years getting some life experience, live on your own, manage your own finances, and then come back and tell us how wrong you were. Maybe start by not moving in with your parents after college and making your own career decisions.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,262 posts, read 49,821,133 times
Reputation: 67103
Quote:
Originally Posted by mermaid825 View Post
It's a double edged sword. If you pay for everything for your kid they very well may take it for granted, pick a stupid major with no thought for the future, and have an entitlement attitude throughout life and not work hard to attain their goals (waste their time in school partying, etc.).

But .
I knew TONS of people whose parents paid who did great in college.
This is always trotted out, but it is just cheezy and not true.
If your kids goof off and take their opportunities for granted, that is a product of your parenting, not a consequence of offering them education.
By college, they either want it or they don't.

If anything, the people I know who had to work were much more likely to quit and drop out bc of the stress.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Palmer/Fishhook, Alaska
1,256 posts, read 875,864 times
Reputation: 1895
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I don't need to "retake" anything, I know exactly what sacrifice is since I paid my own way through college without my parents help and I had children and a full time job and a husband and home to tend to while I did it.

Perhaps you should learn what the real world is like outside of mom and dad's protective bubble.

It only took me 4 years to get my degree, so please tell me how much exactly you are sacrificing?

PS ~~ My GPA was 4.0.
Respect.

Your scenario has played out very similar to my own.

I went through college and grad school as a single parent. In college I was a premed/science major, and by grad school I mean med school lol.

I worked all the way through undergrad and still have the student loans to show for it lol. I certainly never EXPECTED anyone to pay my way, and whatever my working couldn't cover (I didn't earn a high wage, obviously) was what I had the student loans for.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Palmer/Fishhook, Alaska
1,256 posts, read 875,864 times
Reputation: 1895
Quote:
Originally Posted by csd610 View Post
a parents responsibility ends when that child turns 18 years old, after that you all say you are adults and you want to be treated as such. So go out get a job or two, pay for your own college, utilities, rent, groceries, insurance, gasoline, cell phones, lap tops, clothing and food.
Be an actual adult and earn everything you want.

You are taking the easy way out and not sacrificing much by living with mom and dad.
+1
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