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When most people think of successful jobs, doctor tends to be one of the first jobs to come up. I'm not talking about overall success, but but in terms of career success, I think most will agree doctor is high up there.
i know 3 people in medical school. Of them only 1 is taking out a loan. I don't think the other two are lesser people because their parents are paying their way through medical school. It's not a requirement to be in 200k+ worth of debt to become a doctor. (it's pretty much an honor to get into medical school in my opinion).
I will continue to find it strange that someone thinks one should take on massive amounts of debt just to prove independence. then again, I also find it strange when people who have the option to live at home while going to college don't take it and instead take out loans out work more to pay for housing. So once again, I may be in the minority.
For myself, I don't see the point in spending 2-3k a month to live alone in an apartment that is 20 minutes away from my parents house just to prove I'm independent. I'd rather save the money and use it as a down payment towards my own condo or house. Once again, I'm beginning to appreciate my parents more.
Just so you know - oil and gas consultants with a two year degree and/or 15 years or so of experience can make more than many doctors make.
I don't know much about their sources or anything, but it's saying only 77% of parents plan to help their kids out with college.
Why have a kid if you don't want to (or have the means to) help the kid succeed?
Say what you like about college, but good luck moving anywhere without a college degree.
Even a masters degree is becoming a pre req for a lot of good jobs.
Just because a parent can and will pay for their children education does not mean they are a good parent. My best friend from high school had everything paid for by her, however her mother was one of the most selfish people I ever met. She would only schedule "time" to spend w/ her. It was 1/2 hr on Sunday nights. Everything was paid for her because of her stepfather, but her mother was not a good mother, however she was able to provide her a college education. Growing up I remember my mom telling me that she was weird. As a teen, I didn't realize it. Now, as an adult I see all the red flags my mom saw.
On the other hand - My husband is one of the kindest people I have ever met, and it's because of his mom. I'm lucky to have her as my mother-in-law. She struggled as a single parent, working two jobs and getting child support. However, she raised 3 children who are very respectful. My husband was the only one who got a college degree. He had to take out student loans, however he now has a very successful job and he just just a bachelors degree. The other two - one is a supervisor at a large corporation - worked his way up. The other child is a loving mother w/ 3 beautiful little girls who are very sweet/kind.
Also, a lot can happen in 18 years. You could have been very successful and well off 18 years ago, but things happen. It's part of life!
So, yes it's great that your parents were able to pay for your education, but it doesn't make them better parents than others parents who couldn't afford to send their children.
You can do well without a college degree. (ie: My brother in law worked his way up!) Yes, having a degree makes it a lot easier, however a college degree doesn't guarantee you a good job.
Ah, the Pampered Princess Lifestyle - Living in your parents' home rent and expense free while supposedly having a $60k/year job, sponging off their largesse so that you don't have to be a commoner for a few years. You appreciate your parents as long as they open up their checkbook and continue to bankroll you. And they seem to think by spending more and more money on you, they're somehow showing their "love" for you. Obviously, they should have spent more time on your emotional development because you are definitely devoid of personal character and you're too high on yourself to realize what a stinker you are. BTW I saved for my 20% downpayment while living on my own.
That is was you got out of the post? Seriously, if you do not stay on campus you can save money. Think about it, room and board is about the cost of of your courses for a full semester. Living off campus can be less but compare that to free for living at home (except for maybe a parking pass or bus fare) and you see why it's a better option. It's an economic one and not about "cutting the chord" from the parents. When you think about how much debt you get from living on campus (I know, I've done it) it is nice to be independent but for the cost of future debt, I don't think it's worth it. Yes, living on your own does introduce you to problem solving you didn't do before but at the cost of 2-3 thousand, a month it becomes a sucker bet to do it being freshman year unless you become a resident assistant or some other way to get free or cheapened room and board.
My parents only paid one year of college for me and I didn't even go to an expensive school. I had to work while attending school at the same time and borrow to get my degree.
While most kids were busy partying and drinking, I could't do a lot of that because I had to work and study at the same time.
Because I worked and paid for my own education the more I value my education.
This concept of picking a "stupid major" is fairly interesting. Do people think that the fields which those who pick "stupid majors" qualify to work in after school should die off? Someone mentioned Medieval Studies. While possibly not the most lucrative field do you really want there to be 0 experts in fields like this? I've heard Dance, Art, etc listed
I guess you missed the part where I said my plan is to work and go to school [btw, I'll be making 60k/year. College wasn't wasted on me because my parents paid my way. I'm also pretty sure I'm not the only one. ], but that's really besides my point. I'm also not saying parents need to pay for graduate school. I also never said that parents need to pay 100% of college costs, but that got pinned on me anyways. I said that college is a new necessity of the modern world ( there's only like 4 people here who claim success without a college degree and they were all over 50. Since America became a fully service economy, it has become a different world. The rest told a story of how they struggled to get a college degree. The path to middle class life started with the college degree. )
Why would you willingly let your kid struggle this much to get this degree? So far the answer is "build character" or "retirement is more important". I personally have worked a part time job throughout college. It hasn't really built any character into me, so I don't really see that, but whatever. Saying retirement is more important is putting yourself first. A lot of what I do, I do with the idea that if I have a kid, I want the kid to have a nice life and a decent chance at success. Like I'm not studying what I love in college, I'm studying what is practical and marketable. I want the ability to provide well for my kid (if I have one).
...<Snipped for brevity>...
Just have to mention that I did not finish my degree, and I am not over 50. I'm 35. And although I am in debt and don't have savings (some due to my Student Loans which I am faithfully repaying, and some due to relatives with problems and their hands out the minute I've got my ends meeting, some also due to financing things I consider important to my sons' development such as the musical instruments)...we have indeed lived above our means at times and there is an ebb and flow with debt coming and going in our lives. HOWEVER. I consider myself successful. We have a nice home in a nice area with good schools, all of our bills get paid on time and we have everything we need. While I can't speak for my husband necessarily, since he is now a disabled veteran, I have a good career in Energy Management....I feel that I have found success without a degree.
Also, I need to be clear about retirement. When I talk about saving for retirement, what I mean is not early retirement of traveling the world or playing shuffleboard on a cruise ship. What I mean is that when I am too old or infirm to continue working, I want to be able to afford my medical expenses, and basic needs. I think you're just too darn young to wrap your head around this. I've seen how old people who didn't save wind up trying to get by on Social Security and Medicare alone, and it's not pretty. Part of the problem with your attitude is that it is highly centered on your own world and situation, and unspeakably judgmental. There is nothing wrong with what your parents have done for you, but to say that no one should have kids if they aren't basically wealthy people who KNOW that they can afford to fund a kid's education...you're basically saying that entire populations of less fortunate human beings on earth should quit breeding and simply die off. It's horrific. It's kind of Nazi-ish, and I don't make the comparison lightly, but go look into the term "eugenics" and see where that leads, ok? Frankly, I didn't want kids. But I found myself pregnant. Within the first year of my first kid's life, I had starved myself to make sure his needs were met, and lost every material possession to get him to a better place, I had sacrificed everything for him and I'd do it again. What I did was the exact opposite of selfish, aborting him would have been selfish...but I didn't.
It's also been mentioned by some people in Asian countries that while the parents pay some or all of the kids' schooling costs, the kids also generally grow up expecting to care for their elders when they are in their retirement years. This is a vast difference to America where we don't like thinking about old age and death. We half think we will sooner die young than get old, and half just consider the reality of old people like some kind of embarrassing secret...quick...hide them away in a home, and hope Medicare will foot the bill. No one wants to look at the ugliness of old age. I find that attitude revolting. And our society suffers from the loss of the elders and their stories, connections to our roots and our past. I'd really like to know, from American kids whose parents are paying for their schooling, if they are saving up, or planning to save up, to care for their parents in retirement...or is that not your problem? Are your parents caring for their parents yet? Do they plan to?
And then this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn
I know a tattoo artist who did a couple of semesters at a CC to study art, who makes more than many doctors make. A LOT more.
He'd totally flunk the OP's "class" qualifications. And not care, lol.
Thank you, DewDropInn! This goes to the definition of success that is also not very clear to the OP and others. Frankly I want my kids to be happy with themselves and live within their means. In those ways I hope that they outdo me where I have not been successful. In terms of a good paycheck, I've done well...but I don't love my job. I would wish for that, for my sons. And I have not always lived within my means, although I'm definitely doing better in recent years with that too. If a modest home and a vocational trade that requires an apprenticeship rather than a degree is the definition of happiness and success for either of my sons, then I'm totally on board.
While it's hard to be happy when you are extremely poor, in a society as materially driven as ours, I must say that I've known a number of wealthy people who were miserable. Loads of cash doesn't make someone a good parent any more than it magically makes people happy all by itself. And it is my opinion from seeing a wide variety of cases unfold that a parent's TIME is far more valuable to their kids' future than their MONEY is.
That is was you got out of the post? Seriously, if you do not stay on campus you can save money. Think about it, room and board is about the cost of of your courses for a full semester. Living off campus can be less but compare that to free for living at home (except for maybe a parking pass or bus fare) and you see why it's a better option. It's an economic one and not about "cutting the chord" from the parents. When you think about how much debt you get from living on campus (I know, I've done it) it is nice to be independent but for the cost of future debt, I don't think it's worth it. Yes, living on your own does introduce you to problem solving you didn't do before but at the cost of 2-3 thousand, a month it becomes a sucker bet to do it being freshman year unless you become a resident assistant or some other way to get free or cheapened room and board.
She's finishing up undergrad. She will be living in her parents home rent and expense free once she has graduated and is employed. When I briefly lived in my mom's house before I relocated, I paid her. She didn't need the money and it wasn't a lot of money, but it was the right thing to do. I was a big girl. That's what big girls do.
My daughters, if they stay in state, will probably meed to live in our house and I have no problem with that. That would probably be part of our "help" that we'd give them.
When most people think of successful jobs, doctor tends to be one of the first jobs to come up. I'm not talking about overall success, but but in terms of career success, I think most will agree doctor is high up there.
i know 3 people in medical school. Of them only 1 is taking out a loan. I don't think the other two are lesser people because their parents are paying their way through medical school. It's not a requirement to be in 200k+ worth of debt to become a doctor. (it's pretty much an honor to get into medical school in my opinion).
I will continue to find it strange that someone thinks one should take on massive amounts of debt just to prove independence. then again, I also find it strange when people who have the option to live at home while going to college don't take it and instead take out loans out work more to pay for housing. So once again, I may be in the minority.
For myself, I don't see the point in spending 2-3k a month to live alone in an apartment that is 20 minutes away from my parents house just to prove I'm independent. I'd rather save the money and use it as a down payment towards my own condo or house. Once again, I'm beginning to appreciate my parents more.
Who in the world spends $2-3000 a month on student housing? Do you require concierge service? My kids all got houses or apartments, and we spent no more than $350/month. They had private bedrooms and baths. The eldest one went to U of Miami, which was higher, but even his was only $500/month.
We agreed to pay for undergrad degrees. Grad school is on those that want to continue on. That includes the son accepted to med school, and the one currently looking at PhD programs. We're proud of them, but they are proud of themselves for figuring out that they have reached maturity and can take care of themselves.
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Seriously, if you do not stay on campus you can save money. Think about it, room and board is about the cost of of your courses for a full semester. Living off campus can be less but compare that to free for living at home (except for maybe a parking pass or bus fare) and you see why it's a better option. It's an economic one and not about "cutting the chord" from the parents. When you think about how much debt you get from living on campus (I know, I've done it) it is nice to be independent but for the cost of future debt, I don't think it's worth it. Yes, living on your own does introduce you to problem solving you didn't do before but at the cost of 2-3 thousand, a month it becomes a sucker bet to do it being freshman year unless you become a resident assistant or some other way to get free or cheapened room and board.
