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Old 10-10-2014, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Buckeye, AZ
25,501 posts, read 14,595,453 times
Reputation: 9240

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Who in the world spends $2-3000 a month on student housing? Do you require concierge service? My kids all got houses or apartments, and we spent no more than $350/month. They had private bedrooms and baths. The eldest one went to U of Miami, which was higher, but even his was only $500/month.

We agreed to pay for undergrad degrees. Grad school is on those that want to continue on. That includes the son accepted to med school, and the one currently looking at PhD programs. We're proud of them, but they are proud of themselves for figuring out that they have reached maturity and can take care of themselves.
I guess it depends on the room+board package at the school. Food was about 1.5K at my alma mater for most traditional plans and room was about 1K a month or so.
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Old 10-10-2014, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Colorado
9,921 posts, read 6,346,034 times
Reputation: 17865
Quote:
Originally Posted by mkpunk View Post
I guess it depends on the room+board package at the school. Food was about 1.5K at my alma mater for most traditional plans and room was about 1K a month or so.
PER MONTH???

That's completely crazy. Time to definitely live off-campus. You can get a modest apartment or share a home with friends for much less than that, even in some cities with high cost of living.

I've read some articles lately about private universities abusing the for-profit model, but this is just madness. $1.5K/month for food is $50 per day (avg 30 days) which is ridiculous for one person. It's comparable to eating out every day, every meal. These costs don't teach a student thing one about being frugal and wise with money.

1K/month is not far off from what I pay on a mortgage for a 5 bedroom house in the burbs, man...

Your alma mater sounds like an alma'ty ripoff to me.
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Old 10-10-2014, 04:21 PM
 
1,035 posts, read 1,564,842 times
Reputation: 2155
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
i know 3 people in medical school. Of them only 1 is taking out a loan. I don't think the other two are lesser people because their parents are paying their way through medical school. It's not a requirement to be in 200k+ worth of debt to become a doctor. (it's pretty much an honor to get into medical school in my opinion).

I will continue to find it strange that someone thinks one should take on massive amounts of debt just to prove independence. then again, I also find it strange when people who have the option to live at home while going to college don't take it and instead take out loans out work more to pay for housing. So once again, I may be in the minority.

For myself, I don't see the point in spending 2-3k a month to live alone in an apartment that is 20 minutes away from my parents house just to prove I'm independent. I'd rather save the money and use it as a down payment towards my own condo or house. Once again, I'm beginning to appreciate my parents more.
I don't know of anyone who thinks less of people for their parents paying for their education. Along with getting financial aid, that's pretty much seen as the norm (until you're much older), which I figured was the point of the original post - the fact that a number of parents are choosing to rock the boat by not helping.

I don't think those who decline help with their education in spite of it meaning debt are making that choice just to prove independence. That's counter intuitive to the pressure of social standards since that's an area you're not expected to be independent in when you're starting out. Maybe much later in life.

What I do come across are people who don't want their parents to pay because 1) their assistance comes with restrictions, like only paying if they pursue a degree they have no interest in or other forms of manipulation 2) they want nothing to do with their parents for some reason deeply-rooted in their family's dysfunction.

Neither is exactly frivolous, just a matter of priorities. Related, just because you have the option to live at home while going to school doesn't mean that's the best choice for your well-being and enrichment overall, even if it is the best choice for your bank account. Money isn't always the point.

It's odd to speak about independence as if it's just some petty thing people foolishly chase at all costs, like popularity. I would argue that everyone works toward independence. You'd rather invest in a property you'll actually own than throw money away on a rental for the sake of independence. That still indicates that you'd seek the independence of property ownership.

What's the point of saving up money to buy your own property when you'd save even more money by not buying anything at all and just living in someone else's house that they pay for the rest of your life? Is it for the investment? What's the point of having your own commodity when you can just live off of someone else's? What's the point of having your own money? What's the point of having a job? What's the point of doing anything at all on your own?

On some level, everyone feels compelled to have something that's theirs - something that doesn't belong to someone else, wasn't earned by someone else, wasn't paid for by someone else, and isn't governed by someone else.

Independence isn't always about proving something to somebody. It's about discovering and asserting your own identity and taking ownership of your own life. Those are pretty big deals and if someone feels strongly enough about them to risk going out there and ending up swimming in debt, I'd say the foolishness of that financial decision doesn't diminish the wisdom of that personal choice.

Of course, if someone is just making really stupid decisions for no good reason, like pouring their money down the drain on an apartment they can't afford to live in just to impress their friends, that's a different cookie in the box all together.
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Old 10-10-2014, 06:00 PM
 
4,639 posts, read 10,545,011 times
Reputation: 10358
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Who in the world spends $2-3000 a month on student housing? Do you require concierge service? My kids all got houses or apartments, and we spent no more than $350/month. They had private bedrooms and baths. The eldest one went to U of Miami, which was higher, but even his was only $500/month.

We agreed to pay for undergrad degrees. Grad school is on those that want to continue on. That includes the son accepted to med school, and the one currently looking at PhD programs. We're proud of them, but they are proud of themselves for figuring out that they have reached maturity and can take care of themselves.
Again, the pampered princess who feels her parents "owe her" a college education, graduate school AND free room and board AFTER graduation isn't referencing student housing...

She is commenting on life on her own AFTER college, apparently single and making 60K doesn't add up to the lifestyle she has been accustomed to....she NEEDS to live at home rent free, never mind the fact that many families survive just fine on less.
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Old 10-10-2014, 08:34 PM
 
1,339 posts, read 2,858,255 times
Reputation: 2214
Have been contributing to my son's 529 plan since he was born. This is after maxing our 401K, IRA and HSA and putting a portion of our savings for emergencies. We should be able to fund him all the way through his Bachelors, and hope that like me and my wife, he completes his Masters on a research or a teaching assistantship. My wife and I do not want to compromise on the quality of education for our son on financial grounds. We have the means to save, so we are going for it!
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Old 10-10-2014, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Seattle Area
1,716 posts, read 1,500,398 times
Reputation: 4114
I dont have kids, so its theoretical for me. But I would not pay for their college even if i had them. They can work hard and get assistance. They can work. They can take out loans. My parents didn't pay for my college, my wife's parents didn't pay for hers. We both have graduate degrees paid for by our efforts. i would expect the same of my kids.
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Old 10-10-2014, 10:47 PM
 
24,003 posts, read 31,258,887 times
Reputation: 28681
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post

If 50k makes or breaks your retirement fund, maybe you should get a financial planner.

I really don't think finding a way to save up around 50k per child in 18 years is really too much of a sacrifice to ensure your kid has a decent start in life. It's around $2,800/year per child if you saved up from birth. If you can't put that much away a year per child, should you really be reproducing?

**I think 50k is a reasonable amount. It's two years ticket price (including room, books, and food) at a typical state school. You really shouldn't be paying ticket price for any college, in my opinion.
The FIRST thing a financial planner will tell you is that parents should never EVER tap their retirement funds for college. EVER.

You sound incredibly spoiled and naive.
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Old 10-10-2014, 11:50 PM
 
Location: Virginia
7,908 posts, read 12,195,832 times
Reputation: 3571
My grandparents paid for my mom's undergrad degree with the understanding that she would do her best to pay for her own children to go to school. My mom and dad paid for my undergrad degree with the understanding that I would do my best to pay for my children. My son is now a freshman in HS and we started a 529 when he was about a year old. I'll do my best to pay for his education after HS.
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Old 10-10-2014, 11:56 PM
 
Location: Palmer/Fishhook, Alaska
1,256 posts, read 879,881 times
Reputation: 1895
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedevilz View Post
Again, the pampered princess who feels her parents "owe her" a college education, graduate school AND free room and board AFTER graduation isn't referencing student housing...

She is commenting on life on her own AFTER college, apparently single and making 60K doesn't add up to the lifestyle she has been accustomed to....she NEEDS to live at home rent free, never mind the fact that many families survive just fine on less.
I cannot imagine for the life of me being of the same young age as the OP, getting a job offer for 60K....and turning the job down just so I could sponge off mommy and daddy yet some more!

60K is a TON of money for a young person to be starting out making. I would have died to have been that lucky.....instead of having to scrape by making barely more than minimum wage LOL

Unbelievable.
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Old 10-11-2014, 05:38 AM
 
Location: New England
1,239 posts, read 1,656,642 times
Reputation: 928
My husband and I plan to put our boys thru college...at least a bachelors. After that, they may be on their own. They will also have to reimburse us for any classes with a D or F as the final grade. If they choose not to share report cards, which is their right as an adult, then we will stop footing the bill and they can pay for it ....being the adults they are.
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