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Old 10-12-2014, 08:58 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 819,785 times
Reputation: 815

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
OP, the last time you had sex with someone, did you discuss how to pay for college for the kid, should a pregnancy result? Get out the calculator with the condom?

I could not afford to pay for my daughter to go to college and her stingy father (my ex) refused to. What I offered her was that she could continue to live with me for free and I'd supply her food and shampoo and we could share my car, and I could pay for community college locally. This was in Davis, CA.

She was determined to go to Santa Barbara, where her friends were going. She had some scholarship money, and she went there and got an overnight job in a hotel, and went to school during the day. Obviously she burned out, although she had a good time while there.

She quit school "temporarily" and got a job working for a company as a receptionist, then they needed someone to do data entry in the payroll dept, then the payroll manager offered to send her to a class on getting certified as a payroll clerk, then she went further on her own and got the professional certificate. And the result has been that she has become a specialist in payroll software systems, after becoming a supervising manager, and now makes $112,000/year as a systems analyst for the university system.

She never did get her degree.

But, I think her stubborn independence (and I don't blame her for wanting to move out of Mom's house) made her a great worker, and she was smart enough to stick to her profession for 15 years or so now.

I put myself through college after I was in my 40's. Couldn't do it before that. Got grants, got loans.

Sounds pretty convenient to blame your entire life's failures on your parents not paying for college.
I'm still a virgin actually, and part of this is because I want to be fully prepared to have a child if I get pregnant. This includes me (and my partner) having a stable well paying job and the desire to support whatever child is made (even accidentally). Since you are prying into my sex life, I'll ask you this: why did you sleep with someone you knew wouldn't be a good father?

I have no idea what you are talking about in your last paragraph. My parents did pay for college, and when I graduate college next May [at 21], I'll have a job that pays 60k/year as a jr. systems analyst for a major corp. I hardly call that failing. Granted, the title for this job is a bit mismatched at this company. It's more of a software development role, but I digress.

Unlike 15 years ago, a degree in MIS or CS is a necessity to get a role as a jr. systems analyst now. I can guarantee that if I wasn't working towards a comp sci degree, I wouldn't have received this job offer no matter what experience I had. They are solely looking for people working towards/with a technical degree. This is related to supply and demand: there are a lot more people with a bachelor's degree out there, thus companies can get picky and demand only people with a bach degree for their entry level job. This is why a bachelor's degree is even more valuable today than it was 15+ years ago.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,065,116 times
Reputation: 20460
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
Unlike 15 years ago, a degree in MIS or CS is a necessity to get a role as a jr. systems analyst now. I can guarantee that if I wasn't working towards a comp sci degree, I wouldn't have received this job offer no matter what experience I had. They are solely looking for people working towards/with a technical degree. This is related to supply and demand: there are a lot more people with a bachelor's degree out there, thus companies can get picky and demand only people with a bach degree for their entry level job. This is why a bachelor's degree is even more valuable today than it was 15+ years ago.
It all depends on who you know and what bridges you haven't burned. My husband works for a firm that doesn't hire based on education. They look for actual experience in IT. What they do isn't taught in college. Management positions aren't filled by people with degrees in management or business either. They're filled by people who have years of IT experience. Key word here is experience. Newbies fresh out of college don't normally have experience. There's a great deal to be said for experience. Somethings can't be taught. You have to learn them by actually doing them.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,013 posts, read 98,876,691 times
Reputation: 31456
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
Just because you don't know any doesn't mean there aren't any. A friend of mine owed $212K upon graduating from medical school. She struggled to pay rent and student loans for over 10 years. Her student loan payments were thousands of dollars a month. New doctors don't make a fortune.
I work in a pediatric office. Pediatricians are supposedly the lowest paid docs in the US. I've seen new doctors straight out of residency start out. Yes, they have loans to pay, but none are " struggling". Within a few years they're sending their kids to private schools, taking vacations to Mexico and so on.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:08 PM
 
2,159 posts, read 3,737,126 times
Reputation: 2136
How on earth do you have a guaranteed paid job for something that is 7mths out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I'm still a virgin actually, and part of this is because I want to be fully prepared to have a child if I get pregnant. This includes me (and my partner) having a stable well paying job and the desire to support whatever child is made (even accidentally). Since you are prying into my sex life, I'll ask you this: why did you sleep with someone you knew wouldn't be a good father?

I have no idea what you are talking about in your last paragraph. My parents did pay for college, and when I graduate college next May [at 21], I'll have a job that pays 60k/year as a jr. systems analyst for a major corp. I hardly call that failing. Granted, the title for this job is a bit mismatched at this company. It's more of a software development role, but I digress.

Unlike 15 years ago, a degree in MIS or CS is a necessity to get a role as a jr. systems analyst now. I can guarantee that if I wasn't working towards a comp sci degree, I wouldn't have received this job offer no matter what experience I had. They are solely looking for people working towards/with a technical degree. This is related to supply and demand: there are a lot more people with a bachelor's degree out there, thus companies can get picky and demand only people with a bach degree for their entry level job. This is why a bachelor's degree is even more valuable today than it was 15+ years ago.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:14 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 819,785 times
Reputation: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
How on earth do you have a guaranteed paid job for something that is 7mths out?

i interned there during the summer. They are also expanding, which helps. According to my college counselor, 30% of internships lead directly to job offers. It's really not that uncommon. Most people I know who interned successfully with big companies ended up with a job offer by the end of summer.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
16,783 posts, read 20,561,439 times
Reputation: 30859
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
Since you are prying into my sex life, I'll ask you this: why did you sleep with someone you knew wouldn't be a good father?
I forgot to go to the gypsy with the crystal ball?

If you have never had a child with your partner, how do you know your partner will be a good parent?

And as far as the comment about blaming failures on your parents if they don't pay for college - isn't that basically what your OP said? That parents who don't pay for their childrens' college education are dooming them to a life of failed opportunity? This is what I was referring to.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
41,043 posts, read 32,742,081 times
Reputation: 57162
Oh my. OP, please keep a record of this thread and refer back to it when you're, oh, I don't know - about 45.

Life has a way of working on that pride - and the more pride there is, the uglier the lessons can be. Humility is a necessary ingredient for a well adjusted life and a good personality and if you want to enjoy either, you may want to go get some of that stuff - or I'm afraid it will be forced on you.

I mean this very sincerely.

You have had a lot of advantages already in your short life, and I personally don't begrudge them to you. However, sometimes when a person has had so much given to them, they develop a sort of social myopia - you can see the things around you very clearly, but those that are farther away are blurry and unclear. There are many, many fine people in this world whose lives are far from yours when it comes to advantages and yet they somehow manage to live very productive, happy lives filled with not only career success but also successful and very gratifying personal relationships. They bear and raise children in vastly different situations - kids who love them and who also move on to building good lives.

They meet and exceed their goals, they fall into bed in the evenings, tired and happy and fulfilled. They build memories with the ones they love. They go on vacations, they celebrate big events, they buy houses, vehicles, etc. They may or may not be "successful" in your eyes, but I can assure you this isn't even a consideration on their radar. Trust me when I say, they're not out to impress you...or me. And they will take no note of your success or failure either - or of your opinion of them.

The other day, I was in our local public library. I noticed a woman at the counter. She was covered in tattoos, and had on shorts and a tank top. I think she was even missing a tooth or two. I heard her say, "Devon, pick yore book and git over here cuz I've got to git to work." Here comes her kid - dressed head to toe in Goth attire - and carrying several library books. Lo and behold, here came two or three other kids, obviously all related and all looking like they came straight from the local trailer park. They all belonged to this woman - and get this - she had taken time out of her day to take them all to the library. As they stood there checking out their books, I noticed one leaning up against her mama lovingly, and I noticed the mother reach out and pat another child on the back as she stood there patiently. The kids were obviously used to checking out library books and they were very efficient about it. As they left the library, they were all chattering happily about their books, tugging on their mother's arm and saying, "Look what I got, look what I got!"

They got in an old car and took off down the road. I am sure their house was as ramshackle as their car - and I'm sure it was also filled with love. I have a feeling those kids will enjoy a good relationship with their mom, and with each other, all their lives, regardless of their choice of college and/or career. And I'm pretty sure their parents won't be footing the bill for their college.

Who are you, or who am I to say that woman shouldn't have those children?
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,065,116 times
Reputation: 20460
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
I work in a pediatric office. Pediatricians are supposedly the lowest paid docs in the US. I've seen new doctors straight out of residency start out. Yes, they have loans to pay, but none are " struggling". Within a few years they're sending their kids to private schools, taking vacations to Mexico and so on.
Maybe that's your office, but that isn't what everyone does. My friend hasn't taken a vacation in years. She doesn't have kids and won't get married until she is better off financially. She doesn't make 6 figures a year. She works for a women's clinic so her pay isn't what many doctors earn. She didn't become a doctor for private schools and Mexican vacations.

My cousin who is a RN also has never taken a Mexican vacation....She can't remember her last vacation. She works as an ICU nurse in a hospital and makes less than $30K a year working full time plus overtime. She lives in the South and not near a big city.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:45 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 819,785 times
Reputation: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I forgot to go to the gypsy with the crystal ball?

If you have never had a child with your partner, how do you know your partner will be a good parent?

And as far as the comment about blaming failures on your parents if they don't pay for college - isn't that basically what your OP said? That parents who don't pay for their childrens' college education are dooming them to a life of failed opportunity? This is what I was referring to.
Maybe just try talking to your partner about things like this before sleeping with them? Though mostly through this forum, I've learned that a lot of people see no value in college so asking about things like this would be pointless.

No, what I said is that you are making the path harder. this is exactly what I said

"Why have a kid if you don't want to (or have the means to) help the kid succeed?

Say what you like about college, but good luck moving anywhere without a college degree. "

Argue all you like about how pointless college is, but the stat remains that college graduates make significantly more than people with just a high school diploma. Contrary to every single anecdotal story here where people with college degrees are struggling to get by while the people with just high school diploma's get high end jobs, numbers don't paint the same picture.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:46 PM
 
23,945 posts, read 31,164,080 times
Reputation: 28590
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I'm still a virgin actually, and part of this is because I want to be fully prepared to have a child if I get pregnant. This includes me (and my partner) having a stable well paying job and the desire to support whatever child is made (even accidentally). Since you are prying into my sex life, I'll ask you this: why did you sleep with someone you knew wouldn't be a good father?

I have no idea what you are talking about in your last paragraph. My parents did pay for college, and when I graduate college next May [at 21], I'll have a job that pays 60k/year as a jr. systems analyst for a major corp. I hardly call that failing. Granted, the title for this job is a bit mismatched at this company. It's more of a software development role, but I digress.

Unlike 15 years ago, a degree in MIS or CS is a necessity to get a role as a jr. systems analyst now. I can guarantee that if I wasn't working towards a comp sci degree, I wouldn't have received this job offer no matter what experience I had. They are solely looking for people working towards/with a technical degree. This is related to supply and demand: there are a lot more people with a bachelor's degree out there, thus companies can get picky and demand only people with a bach degree for their entry level job. This is why a bachelor's degree is even more valuable today than it was 15+ years ago.
That is completely false. You clearly are not involved with many IT professionals.
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