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Old 10-05-2014, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
679 posts, read 1,552,993 times
Reputation: 1126

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Sometimes people (parents) have situations beyond their control that makes this decision for them. Divorce, death of a spouse, job layoffs and other major life issues can drastically change the financial outlook years after a couple decides to have a child.

I am divorced and my daughter pays for her own college. My son will pay for his as well. It is hard to cover those types of expenses with one income and no financial assistance from anyone else. This was certainly not what I had planned when I was married and decided to have children. I would love to have the option of paying for their college, but hey, ***** happens.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Palmer/Fishhook, Alaska
1,256 posts, read 926,693 times
Reputation: 1895
Quote:
Originally Posted by garvan View Post
a master's degree is the abilility to fly, these days. a bachelor's degee is just chick-feathers. When you have a kid, you are supposed to RAISE them, all the way, properly,and without coerciing other people (via taxes) to carry half of YOUR burden.
No.

The burden of college falls on the ADULT who, if they have the will to succeed, WILL succeed. I have no issues with the concept of assisting your adult children with educational expenses if they are showing the drive and will to do what it takes to get the job done. Paying for everything though? No way.

Make no mistake....these young adults ARE adults and thus need to take more responsibility for their own lives. THAT is what growing up and character-building is all about....none of this live with mommy and daddy rent free for as long as humanly possible garbage. They won't learn anything staying tied to the apron strings.

Personally, I wish our system worked more like Europe's. It doesn't, though.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:58 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,654,718 times
Reputation: 5034
Quote:
Originally Posted by chellemi808 View Post
Sometimes people (parents) have situations beyond their control that makes this decision for them. Divorce, death of a spouse, job layoffs and other major life issues can drastically change the financial outlook years after a couple decides to have a child.

I am divorced and my daughter pays for her own college. My son will pay for his as well. It is hard to cover those types of expenses with one income and no financial assistance from anyone else. This was certainly not what I had planned when I was married and decided to have children. I would love to have the option of paying for their college, but hey, ***** happens.
Yes, this is the point that I've being trying to make. While it's lovely to think that you and your spouse will have a planned child or two, never lose your job, never face a serious and expensive illness, never get divorced, never suffer through a recession, a natural disaster, or other tragedy...that's just not real life for many, if not most people.

My husband and I fully intend to pay for our children's undergraduate educations. But **** does happen and many other things come before saving for the kids' college.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:58 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,990,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I read this article
Fewer parents helping to pay for college - Jun. 26, 2014

I don't know much about their sources or anything, but it's saying only 77% of parents plan to help their kids out with college.

Why have a kid if you don't want to (or have the means to) help the kid succeed?

Say what you like about college, but good luck moving anywhere without a college degree.

Even a masters degree is becoming a pre req for a lot of good jobs.
77%? I'm surprised it is that high.

I can think of several reasons to have a kid and not pay for college:
1) you didn't go to college yourself and don't plan on your kid going
2) you were doing fine financially 18 years ago, but now you are disabled
3) " " "................................................. ......, but you lost your retirement savings in 2008
4)" " " .................................................. ......, but you were recently downsized and haven't found another job yet.
5) your kid doesn't have the motivation to do well in college
6) Your kid is an entitled spoiled brat and needs to learn to provide for himself.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:58 PM
 
769 posts, read 586,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
Why have a kid if you don't want to (or have the means to) help the kid succeed?
Because they're cute when they're little.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:59 PM
 
769 posts, read 586,772 times
Reputation: 1335
Some people can't afford to help their kids pay for college.

Some people can, but would rather spend the money on themselves.

My dad flip-flopped. Sometimes he would pay for college, and sometimes he wouldn't. I think a lot depended on the woman in his life at the time, and whether she wanted him to or not. Whenever he was between wives and didn't have a serious girlfriend, he paid for college. He also paid for it when his second wife's son was old enough for college.
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Old 10-05-2014, 09:47 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 3,153,994 times
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Kids who know how to manipulate their parents don't have to be satisfied with one or two degrees at their parents' expense. They can keep going to college till their parents start to give them the third degree.
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Old 10-05-2014, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,092 posts, read 12,408,399 times
Reputation: 19035
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
You do, of course, realize that some parents cannot afford to help with college expenses, correct? And sometimes that is through no fault of their own? I'm actually surprised 77% plan to pay. The workers hit hardest by layoffs are the ones in their late middle aged years, prime time to see their offspring ready for college. Those parents are the ones struggling to find new jobs that pay well enough to keep a similar standard of living.

I think it's wonderful when parents can, and do pay for college. We did. But, I also have no problem with parents who cannot afford to, or are uncomfortable with running themselves into debt to do so, just as the wage-earning years are lessening.
Also, there are plenty of kids who are worthless bums. By the time they turn 18, it should be obvious if paying for their education will be worth the money or not.
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Old 10-05-2014, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Texas
3,942 posts, read 3,241,693 times
Reputation: 6712
Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post

My husband and I fully intend to pay for our children's undergraduate educations. But **** does happen and many other things come before saving for the kids' college.
Good point. In fact, when priorities have to be made with regards to financial resources and where to put limited funds and/or savings, many experts will tell you that your retirement, paying debt off etc should always take priority over paying for your child's education. The rationale being that there are a number of options for financing an education (grants, scholarships, loans) but there are no options for you to fund retirement, pay off medical and other debts etc.
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Old 10-05-2014, 10:29 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 92,025,684 times
Reputation: 30379
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I've been actively trying to meet people at my college who are paying their own way.
That's a strange hobby.
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