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Old 10-06-2014, 02:40 PM
43,012 posts, read 88,958,716 times
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Don't you want better for your child than what you had?
Many people who put themselves through college considered it character building and want their children to have the same opportunity they did to experience the sense of accomplishment and self worth that comes with doing it on their own.
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Old 10-06-2014, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Don't you want better for your child than what you had?
Some people want as much for their children. And, if that means learning financial maturity a few years before their classmates, I see no problem with it. I admit, I sometimes wonder if we did the correct when we paid for our boys' expenses. Knock wood, two of them graduated on time, and are doing well. The 3rd needed a 5th year due to changing his major, and he hasn't found a job in his field yet after graduating in May.

I don't think any of my boys are "hungry". They know we won't refuse them if they have a legitimate need.
I'm just really not sure that's a good thing.
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Old 10-06-2014, 02:55 PM
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My parents paid for a part of my college. I have an associates degree and went to a tech school. I still graduated with about 35k in student loans..

I could not be ANY more grateful that my parents were able to help me out some. Granted I still had a lot of loans, and no Bachelors, I feel my parents taught me how to take care of myself by the time I graduated high school.

If children are raised right, most should be able to take care of themselves once they graduate high school, and most should also be able to put themselves through college with loans, working, etc.

I was clearing 100k/yr by the time I was 23-24. Now I am 26 and at about 150k. I could NOT have done this, had I never had worked growing up, was given everything, and had parents that paid for everything. I learned so much more working from 13-22 than most kids learn in college in some aspects. By the time I was 22, I had 9 years of work experience. Many kids graduate college with never a job in their life, and basically no idea how to responsibly be on their own.

While my 9 years wasn't all "relative" experience, it was 9 years of going through interviews, dealing with bosses, learning how to work with people, show up on time, actually WORK, and know what I need to do to succeed. Heck, even all the "reading" people, and those type of skills in dealing with others, simply can't be taught.

I plan to help my kids some with college (when I have them) but I doubt I'll pay for all of it. I want them to grow up somewhat similar to how I did. Maybe with a bit more than I have, but I feel much better raising a kid to be responsible and appreciative then to simply give them everything.

I was never "poor" or anything. We were lower middle class. We had family vacations in the US once a year. I got around a $5 weekly allowance until I was about 14. I never really got any "toys" or stuff I "wanted" unless I saved, worked extra jobs for people or around the house, and then of course my birthday and Christmas.. They never paid for a cell phone bill, and I even got a loan for my first vehicle when I was 16 (they cosigned, helped me have good credit, my FICO score is at 815 now, at 26).

Like I said, I am forever grateful of my parents help, and they didn't pay for half my schooling. They taught me far, far more than most parents do that simply hold their children's hands from birth through college.
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Old 10-06-2014, 03:06 PM
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If parents can afford to help with college expenses I say do it; it's a wonderful gift.
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Old 10-06-2014, 03:48 PM
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When I started college in 1980, minimum wage was $3.10/hr. and was raised to $3.35/hr in 1981. I went to a Texas public university and in-state tuition was never more than $400/semester. A college student could work 15 hours/week and make $400 in about 8 weeks to pay for a semester of school.

Now, minimum wage is $7.25 per hour (roughly doubled) and average tuition at a Texas two-year college is $1,111 per semester and at a 4-year college, $4,261. A college student working 15/hours per week would now have to work about 39 weeks to pay for a semester (of approximately 13 weeks) at a 4-year university .

That's not even talking about living expenses, but I know that rents have more than doubled since the early 80's.

I understand the value that comes from working hard for something and believe that children should work and pay for some of their education. But wages have NOT kept up with the cost of education. To the extent I can help my daughter go to college and not come out many thousands of dollars in debt, I'm going to.

I don't agree with the OP's premise that you shouldn't have kids unless you can pay for all of their college expenses, but it's IMO it's not fair to say "I did it so they can do it" when the financial reality has changed so much.
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Old 10-06-2014, 04:03 PM
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 22,496,291 times
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Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
To every horror story, there's a good one.

i'm a senior in college, and my parents paid the full amount. However, I've already gotten (and accepted) a job offer from a major company with a decent start salary (60k). It wouldn't have happened without college (and really my parents supporting me).

As a side note, my parents are telling me to give up the job and to continue on getting a masters degree (on their dime).
Well aren't you just lucky?

I'm the first person on either side of my family to go to college and nobody paid a dime for me to go. I did a year in community college (with a Pell Grant), then spent 4 years in the Air Force to get the GI Bill, and still had to work a lot and take out about $5K in loans to finish up. I also received zero guidance or mentoring from my parents as they had no clue about college, careers, or corporate America. So I floundered for years out of college, broke, trying to figure it all out.

As for my kids, I don't want them to have to go through that. We're guiding them to get the education they need to be able to get scholarships (music, foreign language, community involvement, etc.) and plan to downsize our house when they're ready for college and use some of the equity for their tuition. But we expect them to work part time in college for their own needs outside of tuition and housing. Not all kids end up appreciating a full ride from parents.
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Old 10-06-2014, 04:06 PM
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 22,496,291 times
Reputation: 10428
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I've been actively trying to meet people at my college who are paying their own way. Their life is much much harder than mine (and probably will continue to be harder) mainly because of their parents (And their college major, but that's another story).

I.e if you aren't an engineering/cs or a finance/accounting major, chances are you aren't going to get a paid internship. You pretty much need internships (real life experience) to land the entry level job. If you pay for everything yourself, you can't afford to work for free.

You are directly putting your kid at a distinct disadvantage. Why do you feel that passing along your genes is so important that you are willing to hurt your child's chances at a good life?
Really? Do you have any clue how much college costs are related to average salaries these days? If everyone had your opinion, not many babies would be born.
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Old 10-06-2014, 04:21 PM
Location: Dallas TX
14,298 posts, read 20,544,645 times
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My parents paid for me to go to college, I struggled for a couple of years. My parents decided to no longer pay until I improved my grades. I worked, paid my way through college. Very happy they did this, it made me buckle down and do better.

Every person is different, you can't out a blanket statement on these situations.

Last edited by veuvegirl; 10-06-2014 at 05:38 PM..
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Old 10-06-2014, 04:39 PM
Location: Central IL
13,362 posts, read 7,121,412 times
Reputation: 31062
Originally Posted by garvan View Post
a master's degree is the abilility to fly, these days. a bachelor's degee is just chick-feathers. When you have a kid, you are supposed to RAISE them, all the way, properly,and without coerciing other people (via taxes) to carry half of YOUR burden.
My parents paid for NONE of my master's degree - doesn't everyone get a stipend and are forced into indentured servitude by teaching classes? Get into cheap student housing and you'll be fine.
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Old 10-06-2014, 04:59 PM
Location: U.S.A., Earth
4,342 posts, read 2,609,796 times
Reputation: 3814
Whether or not to pay should be done on a person by person basis. It shouldn't be a "one size fits all" approach like saying everyone must to this major, or must go to this school.

There should probably be a mix... make them pay for some of it, or stuff like books and living expenses, as college was. OTOH, some parents already shell out big bucks for tutoring, pre-school, and other advantages, so paying for a portion of it can be good too, or all of it if they have the funds. However, I agree with some articles that parents should NOT raid their retirements just to pay for their kid's education. Never mind how volatile a degree can be these days, but parents ensuring their own retirement also makes it easier for the kids knowing that's taken care of.
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