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Old 10-09-2014, 12:29 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,555 posts, read 29,309,085 times
Reputation: 21313

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashpelham View Post
I hate to be the debbie downer of the day, but my teenage daughter, whom we love so much, simply doesn't bring me the joy I used to have from her.

I guess it's the attitude we get from this child, but all i see her as anymore is a money drain. The only time she speaks to us is when she needs something. Won't even sit in the room with us.

I told my wife this morning that i just don't see her as anything but a financial liability now.

My attitude sucks too, it seems.
Since I am not a parent many people feel that I am unqualified to respond in this category. However, I was a child once - a teenager even, and I have many friends who are parents of teenagers.

Not having children myself makes me more objective. The parents I see who have wonderful, loving, caring children seem to be the ones who have always made family a HUGE priority. Parents who constantly do things with their children, spend quality time together, since they were very young and continuing that tradition throughout childhood. Also, it seems that parents who give children responsibility that keeps them busy tend to have fewer issues. My personal thoughts are that teaching a child that family always comes first (before friends) is very important. Replacing family with friends is a sure recipe for disaster. Then again, having said that, I know of one very wonderful farm family who have 7 kids and of those kids, six of them are absolutely perfect children and one is a trouble maker. Just goes to show you that even with the best circumstances, sometimes you have issues.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 10-09-2014, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV
332 posts, read 231,622 times
Reputation: 775
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashpelham View Post
She will be 15 on Halloween.

Yeah, I know I'm pretty much the darkest-hearted human that has ever walked earth. I mean, I'm just to the right of Attilla the Hun.

I just sick of the puffed up, huffy attitude. Her mom and I were attending her band events at high school, until the last time we came, and she wouldn't even make eye contact with us. WTF-ever. So...I'm like, she can figure it out on her own.
Just ignore her all the time, but periodically go to her room and ask her for IT advice and other things that only a teenager can help with. Give her a taste of her own medicine.
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Old 10-09-2014, 05:16 PM
 
12,633 posts, read 14,657,433 times
Reputation: 14175
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyMeAK View Post
Everything passes, including being teenager. Hold on, be good to her, show her love that is hidden behind your hurt, and in 2-4 years you'll have her back. Hurt her now, and she might leave and never return.
This is good advice, and close to what I was going to say. The OP said she wouldn't make eye contact with them at a band thing. Go anyway, OP. Even if she doesn't show appreciation that you are there, it does matter to her that you are there. Show her love even if she doesn't show it in return. Why? Because if you don't, she will look for love and acceptance in other places - like from boys/men or from peers who drink or do drugs, or just anyone who will show her any attention. You don't want that. Even if she is hard to love, love her anyway and show her that you love her. This is a phase that just about all teenagers go through. From 13 to late teens/early 20s, they are hard to live with. I remember many times thinking that I loved my daughter, but I didn't LIKE her. Of course, I didn't tell her that. Now she's 26 and she's not the person she was from 13 till she came to her senses.
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Old 10-09-2014, 06:03 PM
 
1,196 posts, read 854,251 times
Reputation: 2011
Quote:
Originally Posted by luzianne View Post
This is good advice,.
Thank you. Lesson was hard learned
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Old 10-10-2014, 09:25 AM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,555 posts, read 29,309,085 times
Reputation: 21313
Quote:
Originally Posted by HedgeYourInvestments View Post
Just ignore her all the time, but periodically go to her room and ask her for IT advice and other things that only a teenager can help with. Give her a taste of her own medicine.
Scorpios are fiercely independent and don't like to be told what to do in a authoritarian manner. In order to be happy they must follow their own path and not try to be forced into some kind of preconceived notion of how they should be/behave. They are convinced the world does not understand them, and they are usually right.

Of course, you have to guide a child, so it is a very difficult to find a way to do that without making them feel "forced" to do something or be something.

20yrsinBranson
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