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Old 10-10-2014, 06:00 PM
 
8,374 posts, read 7,362,552 times
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I can tell you why the school says invite everyone in the class, or don't invite them through the school. I was one of the kids not invited.

I am 6'2" tall. I grew to my full height early. When I started the 4th grade, I hit 6 foot tall, as did two other boys. By the time we started the 5th grade I and one of the other boys reached 6'1, and one reached 6'2" tall. At starting the 6th grade, I and one of the other boys reached 6'2" tall, and the other one reached his final height at 6'4" tall. We made all t he other kids look like midgets. All three blond Scandinavian heritage.

When one of the girls in the 4th grade with us had a birthday, her mother had her invite everyone in the class (about 20) except the 3 of us. The girl really liked me, and had me walk home with her so she could meet me and get her to change her mind. I waited outside and listened to her and her mother. The girl asked for us to be included and I will never forget the mot her shouting at her, "No you are not going to invite that bunch of retards. You can look at them and tell they have been staying behind for years as they are dumb and retarded from their size. You can only invite kids your own age." The girl tried to tell her mother I was a month younger than she was, but she would not listen and kept calling us a bunch of retarded losers, even if all three of us were in the top of the class grades wise.

That is t he reason that schools say invite all, or do the inviting off of school grounds. They don't want some kids hurt and humiliated. It is not the kids fault, they are way bigger than their classmates or they are a different skin color, or ethnic group. It really hurts, when you are the only one in you class that is not invited to a birthday party. This is why the schools say if you want to invite most of the class, you have to invite them all.

I have a grandson that just turned 12, and is near 6 foot tall, going through the social problems I went through, and he is the only one like him in his school. He is in Junior High, and the biggest kid in school by far. His voice like mine at that age, is more like a man than a 12 year old boy. He called me last night to talk, and his voice has changed in the last 2 months since he last visited with us, that I did not recognize him and he had to tell me who he was. On top of that, he has always been the smartest kid in his classes, and has won a lot of awards based on intelligence. He is a big husky kid, but they won't let him play football, as he is so much bigger than t he kids he would be playing against, and other schools think his school is using an older ringer if he plays.
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Old 10-10-2014, 06:35 PM
 
235 posts, read 226,763 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG View Post
No its not. Is it really so hard to mail invites or hand them out outside of school?

How would you like it if your child was the one never invited?
That's life. God forbid any snowflake experience rejection or disappointment nowadays.
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Old 10-10-2014, 07:26 PM
 
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Whatever you do, do not send birthday treats without knowing how many kids are in the class. One jack-ass parent of a newcomer sent 18 rainbow loom bands to my son's 2nd grade class that had 26 kids. Some of the kids who did not get any bands cried during recess!!!
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Old 10-10-2014, 07:54 PM
 
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I would do it at that age and since you're new to the area. It's a great way for her to get to know her classmates outside of class, and for you to get to know some of the parents.

If it's no great hardship or inconvenience to invite the whole class, go for it. You can be more selective next year.

(ETA: If parents don't generally attend birthday parties in your area and at younger ages, you can always include an invite for parents to attend for tea/coffee if you would like the opportunity to meet them, as well).

Last edited by ozgal; 10-10-2014 at 08:43 PM..
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Old 10-10-2014, 08:12 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
my daughter was telling me that my granddaughters teacher said that if the invites were handed out at school they had to invite the whole class because they are concerned about some kids feelings getting hurt for not being invited ...really ? the nerve of these school administrators telling ppl how they should do things . yeah my daughter did ask if she could send cupcakes , treat bags etc since her bday is so close to Halloween and the teacher told my daughter no it was not allowed anymore . So I think my daughter is going to do the party at a local park no fuss no muss sort of thing . She will serve chips and punch and cake and that is it . I think that will be a nice party . I think if you invite the whole class you will have trouble handling all those kids unless some parents come as well and from prior exp that will not be very many parents .
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeantownGirl19 View Post
It's like that in our school district too. Ridiculous.
If people had the common sense to realize on their own that it was wrong, we wouldn't need rules like this.
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Old 10-11-2014, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
3,288 posts, read 1,837,372 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeantownGirl19 View Post
That's life. God forbid any snowflake experience rejection or disappointment nowadays.
I don't know but really this just seems so wrong on so many moral levels. Are you saying it's ok to hurt the feelings of a five(!) year old because a parent was too lazy to send invites directly to their child's friend's house? I mean with kids that young you know the parents of your kid's friends. Wouldn't you worry that you were not teaching your child empathy? That you were teaching your child that the world revolves around their (or in this case your) wants and needs?
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Old 10-11-2014, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Warren County and loving it!
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We have invited the entire class at that age when it was at our house. We had a pool and the birthday was appropriate for the pool as far as weather went.
No one felt left out except one child that I was unaware was a Jehovas Witness. Instead of his mother telling him that they don't do such celebrations, she told him that he didn't get an invite. It was sad at 5 years old. Out of 20 kids, I think 17 came. There was no trouble at all. You just have to make sure you have enough activities to amuse them and only make it about 2 hours.

If you feel like inviting them all then by all means do so.
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Old 10-11-2014, 07:40 AM
 
1,167 posts, read 1,039,011 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719 View Post
We have invited the entire class at that age when it was at our house. We had a pool and the birthday was appropriate for the pool as far as weather went.
No one felt left out except one child that I was unaware was a Jehovas Witness. Instead of his mother telling him that they don't do such celebrations, she told him that he didn't get an invite. It was sad at 5 years old. Out of 20 kids, I think 17 came. There was no trouble at all. You just have to make sure you have enough activities to amuse them and only make it about 2 hours.

If you feel like inviting them all then by all means do so.
Kids this age are easy to entertain. My kid's last birthday party involved a cheap hall, some music played on speakers through my phone, and several hundred balloons (Some with helium, most just blown up). The kids raced around with the balloons and made up their own games the entire time and had an absolute blast with it. I gave them the helium balloons to take home and all the remaining balloons they raced around popping at the end so the floor just needed a quick sweep to clean up after.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:34 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,814,499 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeantownGirl19 View Post
That's life. God forbid any snowflake experience rejection or disappointment nowadays.
And God's forbid we teach children manners and compassion.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Warren County and loving it!
5,079 posts, read 7,243,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozgal View Post
Kids this age are easy to entertain. My kid's last birthday party involved a cheap hall, some music played on speakers through my phone, and several hundred balloons (Some with helium, most just blown up). The kids raced around with the balloons and made up their own games the entire time and had an absolute blast with it. I gave them the helium balloons to take home and all the remaining balloons they raced around popping at the end so the floor just needed a quick sweep to clean up after.
That sounds like so much fun!!! When we did the pool parties, it mostly ended up with me being the leader of the train around the pool.

We did a piñata always. The kids had a ball. You're right. A lot of times they make up their own games.
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