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Old 10-11-2014, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 2,214,466 times
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Slightly off topic, but what is the general consensus about gift opening. I am 40 and growing up I always opened gifts at the table after cake was served. It was fun for all the kids to see the different toys etc.. I was just as excited to watch others open their gifts at their parties as well. I have a 7yr old and have noticed most of the parties take the presents home unopened. Is this the new norm? Is it regional? I live in Raleigh NC but grew up in TN as a child. Is it a time saving decision or because kids might get jealous or compare gifts? My child once made an ugly comment about being jealous a friend got a toy she wanted. I used it as a teaching moment that she got toys just as well and she wouldn't want her friends to feel that way towards her. I feel like trying to present the world as always fair and in your favor is a lazy way to avoid teaching my child how to adjust to life.
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Old 10-11-2014, 10:37 AM
 
1,167 posts, read 1,040,541 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cyn7cyn View Post
Slightly off topic, but what is the general consensus about gift opening. I am 40 and growing up I always opened gifts at the table after cake was served. It was fun for all the kids to see the different toys etc.. I was just as excited to watch others open their gifts at their parties as well. I have a 7yr old and have noticed most of the parties take the presents home unopened. Is this the new norm? Is it regional? I live in Raleigh NC but grew up in TN as a child. Is it a time saving decision or because kids might get jealous or compare gifts? My child once made an ugly comment about being jealous a friend got a toy she wanted. I used it as a teaching moment that she got toys just as well and she wouldn't want her friends to feel that way towards her. I feel like trying to present the world as always fair and in your favor is a lazy way to avoid teaching my child how to adjust to life.
It depends. At smaller parties with less kids, or one in the home versus out somewhere, there's been present opening right then and there. Otherwise it's been done later with thank you notes/cards sent out afterward.

A lot of times, it's time saving, especially if the party has been held somewhere where they only have a set amount of time before they need to move on for the next incoming party group.

I know some parents prefer to do the gift opening at home where the kid can open the presents at leisure and without pressure or over-excitement. You know the kids who like to open one Christmas present, play and absorb the experience of that one gift before moving onto the next? Or the kid who is easily overwhelmed with sensory overload etc.

I've always liked when kids open their gifts during the party, but fully understand when it doesn't happen.
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Old 10-11-2014, 12:46 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
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You know I can speak from personal exp I was one of those kids who did not get invited to the bday partys and you know what ? my mother told me toughen up that 's life and life aint always fair and people are not always nice . I learned at a young age that not everyone is going to be nice and invite you to their party .... I survived and so will they . yeah the lil snowflakes will get their feeling hurt eventually and would you not want them to learn that early ? I also taught my kids early that things like this sometimes happen .
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Old 10-11-2014, 01:14 PM
 
12,922 posts, read 19,809,103 times
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Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
You know I can speak from personal exp I was one of those kids who did not get invited to the bday partys and you know what ? my mother told me toughen up that 's life and life aint always fair and people are not always nice . I learned at a young age that not everyone is going to be nice and invite you to their party .... I survived and so will they . yeah the lil snowflakes will get their feeling hurt eventually and would you not want them to learn that early ? I also taught my kids early that things like this sometimes happen .
Yes, you survived, but it seems you are still carrying a chip on your shoulder many years later. I, on the other hand, have no bad memories of being excluded, although I'm quite sure I was. I went to elementary school when it was considered rude to talk about an event that not everybody was invited to. My mother mailed the invites. I still consider it rude.

Is it really necessary for adults to disparage children by calling them special snowflakes?" It's time to retire that awful name.
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Old 10-11-2014, 01:34 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Yes, you survived, but it seems you are still carrying a chip on your shoulder many years later. I, on the other hand, have no bad memories of being excluded, although I'm quite sure I was. I went to elementary school when it was considered rude to talk about an event that not everybody was invited to. My mother mailed the invites. I still consider it rude.

Is it really necessary for adults to disparage children by calling them special snowflakes?" It's time to retire that awful name.

oh no no chip on shoulder here at all sorry you read it that way just saying parents need to teach their kids that life is not fair and neither are some people .
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Old 10-11-2014, 02:17 PM
 
1,167 posts, read 1,040,541 times
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Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
oh no no chip on shoulder here at all sorry you read it that way just saying parents need to teach their kids that life is not fair and neither are some people .
I don't think that the OP is worried about the special snowflake syndrome. They are new to the area, her child doesn't really know any of the children yet, and inviting the whole class is a way for her child to actually have a party with children attending, and to also give her child an opportunity to get to know her classmates and begin making friendships.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:02 PM
 
155 posts, read 212,189 times
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Originally Posted by ozgal View Post
I don't think that the OP is worried about the special snowflake syndrome. They are new to the area, her child doesn't really know any of the children yet, and inviting the whole class is a way for her child to actually have a party with children attending, and to also give her child an opportunity to get to know her classmates and begin making friendships.
This is exactly what I am going for .
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:12 PM
 
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Just wanted to update all you wonderful people who gave me advise . We had the party , invited the whole class and said No gifts please . About half of the class showed up. The birthday child had a wonderful evening with her classmates and a few of her other friends All the parents said their child had a great time

THank you all again
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:24 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
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All the schools our kids have gone to require you invite the whole class. It's always worked out. I invite siblings too. More the marrier. But we have them in places that have party packages so it's very little work for me.
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,097 posts, read 37,751,245 times
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When our school started suggesting that parents invite the whole class, it was to address invitations being passed out AT SCHOOL, to avoid a "haves vs. have-nots" situation.

We never invited the WHOLE class. I just sent out e-vites to a few friends.

It sounds like this worked out great, OP. Congrats.
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