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Old 10-13-2014, 05:38 PM
 
2,540 posts, read 3,301,659 times
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More gems from my MIL - not quite parenting advice so much as her "you're a bad mom unless you're a total martyr" philosophy. She thought I was lazy because I made my own baby food - and froze it in batches! She thought since I was a SAHM, I should've been making him fresh baby food for every meal, because it's more nutritious She also lamented that the poor darling had to eat it bland, with no salt or sugar - never mind he ate veggie purees with nothing added with no problem!

She also believed all baby clothes should be ironed - including bibs and receiving blankets!
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Old 10-13-2014, 05:45 PM
 
24,885 posts, read 11,605,138 times
Reputation: 11620
Its interesting to me that so many people miss the idea entirely of why you don't spank a child when you are angry. They're not trying to make the child have a worse life. They're trying to reduce child abuse. People don't abuse kids if they think about it generally (there are some horrific examples however), but rather because they are angry.
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Old 10-13-2014, 09:14 PM
 
Location: Boston
277 posts, read 185,103 times
Reputation: 745
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Yes you are still missing the point. Of course teaching a child to be patient is a good thing but telling a child 'You have been bad but I'm not going to spank you now. Go on and finish your supper and get your bath and get ready for bed and at 8:30 your father will come in and spank you". Sometimes it was even an all day wait for that spanking. No wonder I had stomach issues my whole life till i was finally able to get out of that home.

I remember one particularly horrible birthday- probably around 6 when I misbehaved and was told I would get my spanking before bed. We had a little family celebration and at bedtime my father pretended to be asleep on the sofa. My mother told me I had to wake him up to remind him I was ready for my spanking. I went over to him and gently shook his shoulder but he still pretended to be asleep. My mother jerked up, grabbed his arm and screamed "John...get up and give her the spanking so she can go to bed". I'm 68 years old and I still cry at the memory of that. That is no way to treat a child.
I am so terribly sorry you went through this. Just horrible...
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Old 10-13-2014, 10:20 PM
 
2,620 posts, read 2,347,199 times
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The ones who decide exactly what age your kid should be walking/talking/drinking from a cup/potty trained/counting/reading. I do NOT miss the days when my son was a baby and all the young mothers were micro-managing every aspect of their child's development.

Honestly, I'd love to go back to some of the worst offenders now that our kids are adults and as, "So now that your son's in college, how big a deal is it that he drank from a cup at 4 months old?"
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Old 10-13-2014, 10:22 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,402,860 times
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get in lots of fights sleep with underage women and become a dentist and dont learn a blue collar trade.
did i leave anything out?
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:25 AM
 
2,540 posts, read 3,301,659 times
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oh oh - my dad tried really hard to convince me and DH that when our four year old is a bit older, we must put him into boxing. Not karate, not taekwondo, boxing - because that's the only sport that "teaches him how to take a punch to the face and not be scared". Our arguments that it's an extremely traumatic sport that can cause major concussions and that basically neither of us would ever consider it fell on deaf ears - he was convinced that he's a boy and hence, needs to be taught how to fight properly, not that karate fluff Can't blame him - he grew up in rural countryside in Soviet Russia We basically told him we're paying a lot of money for our house precisely so that our kids can go to a school and live in a neighborhood where taking punches to the face shouldn't be an essential skill
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Old 10-14-2014, 05:23 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,202 posts, read 50,499,962 times
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A friend told me not to hold or hug my infant so much because she'd get spoiled. This was a woman whose three-year-old was bought everything he wanted and who ruled the house. I was invited there for dinner, and when I referred to the salad as salad, I got YELLED at because the boy wouldn't eat it if you called it salad. You had to call it eucalyptus leaves, like the ninja turtles ate.

I continued to hold and hug my baby.
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Old 10-14-2014, 05:50 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
3,290 posts, read 1,838,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
A friend told me not to hold or hug my infant so much because she'd get spoiled. This was a woman whose three-year-old was bought everything he wanted and who ruled the house. I was invited there for dinner, and when I referred to the salad as salad, I got YELLED at because the boy wouldn't eat it if you called it salad. You had to call it eucalyptus leaves, like the ninja turtles ate.

I continued to hold and hug my baby.
I was told this too by my mother. Having grown up with that woman as a mother I knew to do the exact opposite.

My mother in law told me to flick cold water in toddler's faces that it worked better then spanking. I said well that's interesting and continued to do neither.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:39 AM
 
726 posts, read 664,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
oh oh - my dad tried really hard to convince me and DH that when our four year old is a bit older, we must put him into boxing. Not karate, not taekwondo, boxing - because that's the only sport that "teaches him how to take a punch to the face and not be scared". Our arguments that it's an extremely traumatic sport that can cause major concussions and that basically neither of us would ever consider it fell on deaf ears - he was convinced that he's a boy and hence, needs to be taught how to fight properly, not that karate fluff Can't blame him - he grew up in rural countryside in Soviet Russia We basically told him we're paying a lot of money for our house precisely so that our kids can go to a school and live in a neighborhood where taking punches to the face shouldn't be an essential skill
He's gonna get in a fight sooner or later, then what?
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Old 10-14-2014, 10:40 AM
 
2,540 posts, read 3,301,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el_marto View Post
He's gonna get in a fight sooner or later, then what?
I still don't think BOXING for a kid is an essential sport a martial art should be plenty for a confidence boost, and otherwise I'm really not expecting him to get into violent street fights. Your regular tussle between boys should not require boxing skills
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