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Old 10-10-2014, 04:01 PM
 
4,750 posts, read 3,318,033 times
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I was watching on of my favorite bloggers and in this video she discussed 10 of the worst parenting advice tips. It starts at 3:40. What's some of the worst parenting advice you've received?
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Old 10-11-2014, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
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I was had a friend who tolds me "Don't ever spank your child in anger. Wait till you've both calmed down, tell them when it is going to happen and why and follow through"

First of all I don't believe in spanking. Now I whacked a hand or two and maybe a butt or two during diaper wearing toddler stage to get immediate results but I never put a kid over my lap and whacked them. I had that done to me (the making an appointment time) and I can tell you it is terrible. The tension and anxiety waiting for the spanking was horrible. Whoever thought that was a good idea was a masochist.
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Old 10-11-2014, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,535 posts, read 4,499,788 times
Reputation: 2572
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I was had a friend who tolds me "Don't ever spank your child in anger. Wait till you've both calmed down, tell them when it is going to happen and why and follow through"

First of all I don't believe in spanking. Now I whacked a hand or two and maybe a butt or two during diaper wearing toddler stage to get immediate results but I never put a kid over my lap and whacked them. I had that done to me (the making an appointment time) and I can tell you it is terrible. The tension and anxiety waiting for the spanking was horrible. Whoever thought that was a good idea was a masochist.
Agreed. My worst parenting advice is similar. My MIL told me that if I didn't have control over my kids by the time they were 3, (by spanking them regularly) that I had lost them and they would always be wild in disobedient.

It turns out, my BIL and SIL parented with that kind of philosophy...heavy spanking for every infraction and the idea that kids have to be "trained" to obey when they are young. They all snubbed their noses at me because I parented differently than they did. My husband and I fumbled around a bit trying to figure out how we would parent, but eventually we stopped using any kind of punishment or rewards and just started dealing with each thing as moral issues. We ask questions like "What kind of person do you want to be?" "Would you like it if someone treated you that way?" We actually talk about things instead of trying to manipulate everything to get them to jump through our hoops.

We have teens now. I listen to other people who are frustrated with teen behavior and I have to say, we're just not seeing that here. The thing with teens is, if you have dominated and controlled them their whole lives and they are finally big enough to rebel against you, they will. If you have always treated them like autonomous human beings and respected their opinions (even if you couldn't always give in to their requests), they will treat you the same way when they are old enough to choose how they want to treat you.
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Old 10-11-2014, 11:57 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,882,400 times
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Oh boy Once when my daughter was 6 months old we had to go to consultation bureau, there I met one old type lady, and she told me I should never say NO for my child, and never make her angry, and who said so a woman of age 60 never had a child her self. If I ever listen to her god bless me today. seriously,
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Old 10-11-2014, 03:48 PM
 
519 posts, read 556,028 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I was had a friend who tolds me "Don't ever spank your child in anger. Wait till you've both calmed down, tell them when it is going to happen and why and follow through"

First of all I don't believe in spanking. Now I whacked a hand or two and maybe a butt or two during diaper wearing toddler stage to get immediate results but I never put a kid over my lap and whacked them. I had that done to me (the making an appointment time) and I can tell you it is terrible. The tension and anxiety waiting for the spanking was horrible. Whoever thought that was a good idea was a masochist.
That's good advice though. You shouldn't spank your child when you're angry. Just because you happened to not enjoy that concept when you were a kid does not make it bad advice.
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Old 10-11-2014, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zepheyr View Post
That's good advice though. You shouldn't spank your child when you're angry. Just because you happened to not enjoy that concept when you were a kid does not make it bad advice.
You are missing the whole point. Making a kid wait for hours (in my case right before bedtime) to issue corporal punishment is beyond cruel. No spanking- either in anger or after calming down is right. Raised 7 kids with that attitude and never had any serious problems. I believe kids can be disciplined strongly without hitting them. It just takes a bit more intelligence, imagination and patience.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:09 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,101,517 times
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I had a friend who told me I should never let my child cry, and to pick them up immediately if they whimper.

The same friend advised co sleeping from day one, until they are ready to leave the "nest" . ( I would never cosleep with a newborn!)

Our kids are now ten. Guess whose kid still sleeps with their parents and can't solve their own problems?
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,794,980 times
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Anything based off minimal interaction with a child. A stranger who sees a child for 5 minutes, and decides they know how the child behaves, and how the parent parents them for the remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:17 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,744,558 times
Reputation: 31041
On a different advice board I was once told to make my 4 or 5 year old army crawl and wall-sit as punishment.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:34 PM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,720,716 times
Reputation: 12046
A woman I had never seen before told me that I shouldn't buy my kids the food they liked because it would turn them into spoiled brats. That wasn't the exact wording but that was the gist of it. We were in Costco and they were simply asking, in a normal voice, if they could have something they liked. It really irritated me. What parent withholds food a child likes just to assert power over the child? Why would any parent turn a simple shopping trip into a power struggle? It made no sense to me.
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