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Old 10-16-2014, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
19,889 posts, read 36,428,452 times
Reputation: 21331

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Calm down there, Tex! People relate one experience one time and I say I've never seen that in 30 years and I'm wrong? And really, no, I've never seen the type of behavior some people have described, not in the office or anywhere else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Do you just never go out?
First, I'm quite calm, just pointing out an attitude that developed when we didn't all jump on the "Well, Katiana hasn't seen it and we did, so it must not exist" wagon when you posted the first time that you hadn't seen it in your office.

Now you've NEVER seen it, ANYWHERE, and stan4's question is very appropriate. One wonders just what a kid would have to do for you to consider it to be misbehaving.

Last edited by TexasHorseLady; 10-16-2014 at 08:19 AM..

 
Old 10-16-2014, 09:02 AM
 
15,203 posts, read 16,070,411 times
Reputation: 25130
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasHorseLady View Post
First, I'm quite calm, just pointing out an attitude that developed when we didn't all jump on the "Well, Katiana hasn't seen it and we did, so it must not exist" wagon when you posted the first time that you hadn't seen it in your office.

Now you've NEVER seen it, ANYWHERE, and stan4's question is very appropriate. One wonders just what a kid would have to do for you to consider it to be misbehaving.
I think this is actually the key to the whole thread.

I was at the grocery store last night and a boy of 6 or 7 had some of that snot-like stuff that you can get out of gum machines. He was tossing it at the glass in the dairy department and peeling it off. His mom also had a kid in the cart and another one walking around and they were talking and goofing off.

The boy's behavior did not bother me at all, even though I had to wait for him to peel the snot off the glass door so I could get my milk, but it did make me think of this thread. For some people, that might be considered dreadfully unruly behavior. To me, it was just a kid acting like a kid and it barely registered.

I think the people who are seeing misbehaving children everywhere they go have a different idea of misbehavior than those of us who claim to rarely see misbehaving children.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
19,889 posts, read 36,428,452 times
Reputation: 21331
Okay, let's see if we can define terms in hopes of a more productive discussion, shall we?

What the boy was doing wouldn't bother me as long as he moved when I needed him to do so so that I could get the item that I wished to purchase. Might make extra work for the person who has to clean the glass, of course, and that should be something in the back of a parent's mind when considering whether it's worth pointing that out to their child. If the other kid that wasn't in the cart walking around and "goofing off" was aware of his surroundings and wasn't running into other customers (or making them have to move quick or be bumped into), wasn't messing with the items for sale (toys or not), wasn't running and screaming, and if the Mom was likewise aware of her surroundings and most particularly of what her kids were up to so that she could jump in and correct if need be, that likewise wouldn't bother me.

I've had (small) kids obliviously wander into my path before in the grocery store, and parents notice and call it to their attention and tell them not only move to out of my way but to pay attention to what's going on around them. I smile at both kid and parent to make it clear that I'm not judging them and recognize a teaching moment and that the parent IS teaching (aka parenting) - or, actually, reinforcing prior teaching (which I'm aware needs to be done periodically). I've also had kids run into my path (and almost get hurt - they would have if I weren't alert) because they are running amok and there's no parent in sight or the parent that IS in sight couldn't care less, it's just not their problem. That I don't consider acceptable behavior on the part of the adult; the child is just doing what it's been taught, by its parent, is acceptable.

If a kid is screaming and it's obviously a pain/fear scream and the parent is dealing with it and preparing to get out of there as quickly as is possible, likewise I'm not going to be upset beyond feeling sympathy for the kid and the parent.

If the kid is just screaming/throwing a fit/ignoring its parent because the parent didn't teach the kid how to behave in the place for that teaching, at home, AND is not dealing with it, I'm not going to be so sympathetic and all the "but it's haaarrrdddd!!!!" excuses in the world aren't going to fly.

As a classic example of behavior that is absolutely unacceptable where I did step in and do the parenting because there was no one else to do so:

My daughter's school was having a Back to School night. The first event of the evening was for everyone to gather in the auditorium before going to the classroom. Parents were specifically told, in writing, NOT to drop off or send their kids to the classroom before instructed to do so after the event in the auditorium because the teachers would be in the auditorium and no one would be there to supervise their children and the parents would need to supervise them during the presentation. When my daughter and I got to the classroom, we happened to be the first ones there. There were five little boys, unsupervised, who told me their parents had told them to come wait in the classroom. (I knew the parents of these kids and they were not the kind to miss a note from the school.) Within five minutes of the time we arrived, I turned around and saw the five boys working together in the process of turning over a large round table. I used the Mommy Voice, and they were clearly shocked that anyone would correct their behavior or not let them do whatever they took it into their heads to do to school equipment.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 11:42 AM
 
11,438 posts, read 19,468,095 times
Reputation: 18141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
I think this is actually the key to the whole thread.

I was at the grocery store last night and a boy of 6 or 7 had some of that snot-like stuff that you can get out of gum machines. He was tossing it at the glass in the dairy department and peeling it off. His mom also had a kid in the cart and another one walking around and they were talking and goofing off.

The boy's behavior did not bother me at all, even though I had to wait for him to peel the snot off the glass door so I could get my milk, but it did make me think of this thread. For some people, that might be considered dreadfully unruly behavior. To me, it was just a kid acting like a kid and it barely registered.

I think the people who are seeing misbehaving children everywhere they go have a different idea of misbehavior than those of us who claim to rarely see misbehaving children.
I've noticed this with a lot of the people I work with. A lot of older people who have never had children seem to be very "sensitive" to children doing anything kid like. Normal kid things seem to set their teeth on edge, and they have no problem telling you about it.

Not all older people, mind you, but a fair number. I really hope I don't do that when I get older.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 01:36 PM
 
16 posts, read 15,192 times
Reputation: 43
Man, I totally agree. Bad parents have no idea how to control their kids. Rowdy children should be a misdemeanor at least. like smoking in doors or running around naked.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 01:48 PM
 
5,917 posts, read 4,068,211 times
Reputation: 16282
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
I've noticed this with a lot of the people I work with. A lot of older people who have never had children seem to be very "sensitive" to children doing anything kid like. Normal kid things seem to set their teeth on edge, and they have no problem telling you about it.

Not all older people, mind you, but a fair number. I really hope I don't do that when I get older.
I couldn't agree more. I think some people just like to see "bother" more than others. Don't get it...
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:41 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,531 posts, read 13,372,671 times
Reputation: 20042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I did not prove your point. You really should mind your own business and stop being so judgemental. You don't know their situation so you can't judge.
Ermm, I said... a lot of people TELL me this kind of stuff, usually with a halfhearted grin or a lame attempt at an excuse as to why their kid is crying or carrying on.
Yes, I AM judgmental of 'parents' who don't want to be inconvenienced by actually parenting their kids.
 
Old 10-16-2014, 10:58 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,911,582 times
Reputation: 2346
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