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Old 10-11-2014, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
1,699 posts, read 1,639,280 times
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I experienced this actually for the first time yesterday at a religious service. I have three kids (grown now), and they knew that they were to be quiet during the service or they were taken out. There were two little girls behind us yesterday and the mother just kept saying "Be quiet, someone's talking" but did nothing else. I was so glad when one loudly announced that she had to go to the bathroom, since at least for 5 minutes she, the other girl, and the mother were gone.

 
Old 10-11-2014, 12:53 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,613 posts, read 7,810,094 times
Reputation: 7508
Back in the day nobody called social services when children were disciplined. Now all little Johnny has to do is tell his teacher that mommy spanked him and the parent police show up.
 
Old 10-11-2014, 12:59 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,104 posts, read 17,640,353 times
Reputation: 22444
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedBeth View Post
I experienced this actually for the first time yesterday at a religious service. I have three kids (grown now), and they knew that they were to be quiet during the service or they were taken out. There were two little girls behind us yesterday and the mother just kept saying "Be quiet, someone's talking" but did nothing else. I was so glad when one loudly announced that she had to go to the bathroom, since at least for 5 minutes she, the other girl, and the mother were gone.

Are you kidding me in church of all places ? my mother would have given us the stink eye and we knew to straighten up or we got it when we got home and I mean she would whip out that belt . I have been in the grocery store when I have wanted to say mommy and daddy you might be crazy about your little kiddies but the rest of the world wants them to behave . And in one incident as I recall the mother kept asking her daughter would you please put the ball up , no she kept playing with it and kicking it around and she kicked it into an elderly lady and I gave her the stink eye and she saw me and then and only then did she go and put the ball up . I felt like I should not have had to do that , but whatever it takes . What ever happened to displine and behaving well for your parents , I will tell you what , the namby pambys of this world are raising little snowflakes and would not dare hurt their feelings by spanking or disciplining their children . My children are grown and they spank and discipline very well because they were disciplined and spanked . am I ashamed of spanking my kids ? , not in the least because some kids need it ..
 
Old 10-11-2014, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,535 posts, read 4,497,004 times
Reputation: 2572
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedBeth View Post
I experienced this actually for the first time yesterday at a religious service. I have three kids (grown now), and they knew that they were to be quiet during the service or they were taken out. There were two little girls behind us yesterday and the mother just kept saying "Be quiet, someone's talking" but did nothing else. I was so glad when one loudly announced that she had to go to the bathroom, since at least for 5 minutes she, the other girl, and the mother were gone.
There are a couple ways to deal with this. My 6 y/o (who is a handful) can be disruptive in a synagogue service. I think this is handled different ways in different cultures. My husband's family is Christian. I'm Jewish. His family handled these things by taking the children out and spanking them when they are not quiet. I handle it by taking my child out talking with him about how his actions impact others. For example, if you make a lot of noise not only does it make it difficult for others to hear the speaker, it can also be distracting for the speaker who might lose his place and forget what he was talking about. I help him imagine what it might be like to be giving a speech and having people in the audience making noise so you feel like you have to talk louder. I take the emphasis OFF of him (I'm going to get in trouble) and on to others (how does my behavior impact others).

Also, I limit the amount of time I expect him to sit still to what I believe is manageable for him and I use his cues to tell me when it's time to leave the sanctuary. When he starts getting wiggly I tell him we'll leave in just a few minutes. And then we do. Also, I make sure that it's clear that the reason he has to go to the service is because it allows me to enjoy the teaching NOT because I enjoy torturing him by making him sit still. :-) Also, he learns that when he's older, he'll understand more of what's going on and will probably enjoy the service as well.

This is why it's important for people to be tolerant of children...and maybe even kind to them? Is that too much to ask? Kids need opportunities to learn acceptable behavior. It's not always perfect right off the bat. But they're kids! And believe it or not, there are a lot of things they do much better than adults, such as unconditional love and acceptance, if you take the time to notice it.
 
Old 10-11-2014, 01:19 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,325,866 times
Reputation: 32238
Conroe, Texas must be one wild Night at the Museum.

We go to a museum at least once a month and there are always families with children. No kids running wild. No nose snot on the displays. (I'd notice that.) I've never seen a child throw a tantrum and knock over a display of Asian pottery. Though about a year ago we were in the European wing of an art museum and there was a girl who was about six who said, rather loudly, "Look Mommy! Naked ladies!" Since I like seeing kids in museums and I didn't know I was supposed to scowl at her I said, "A man named Millet painted that. Isn't it wonderful?"

Hmmm....I'm obviously not doing this right.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 10-11-2014 at 01:29 PM..
 
Old 10-11-2014, 01:21 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,006,838 times
Reputation: 64014
It is all in the parenting. Most kids know what they can get away with when out in public and will try to push the limit. If your child is hungry, or needs a nap, tend to your child's needs before leaving the house. When I'm in a restaurant, I always make a point of complimenting parents of well behaved children.
 
Old 10-11-2014, 02:14 PM
 
2,540 posts, read 3,301,659 times
Reputation: 5538
I'm always puzzled that parents think the 'we go home' line is some magic bullet that works on all kids guess what, some kids couldn't care less if they go home; my son didn't - if he started acting up in a store or restaurant, it usually meant he was sick of being there and WANTED to leave. But you can't just get up and leave in any situation - especially not a doctor's office where you're there for a reason! And sick kids will tend to be a lot crankier too.

If I know we'll be in a situation where he's expected to sit for a long time and there's not much for him to do - doctor's office, plane, restaurant - we let him have the iPad. Of course that elicits the criticizing glances of 'you're a bad parent for letting him play with the iPad instead of having a nice dinner out together'. Well I know my child, and I know he doesn't care much for the whole eating out thing yet, and that if we expect him to just sit there and wait for over an hour it's not going to be peaceful for anyone. We could try to 'train' him and end up having to leave with a tantrum every time, or we can have him play for an hour and everyone's happy. No-brainer imo.
 
Old 10-11-2014, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Conroe, Texas
62 posts, read 68,046 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Feel better now?
Yes, thank you
 
Old 10-11-2014, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,790,469 times
Reputation: 14677
Wow, so the good folks here see marauding moppets everywhere they go? They is so very strange because in my half century on the planet I have seen truly bad public behavior only on rare occasions from tiny tykes. Now don't get me started on my fellow so-called adults, they continue to disappoint in their lack of self-control and decorum in public settings.
 
Old 10-11-2014, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,790,469 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by wall st kid View Post
I agree, OPK is a societal blight, just because *You* decided to have kids, doesn't mean we should be forced to listen to them or raise them.
A blight? Seriously?
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