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Old 10-11-2014, 10:48 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 1,160,569 times
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Quote:
Kids sometimes act up. And parents teach them.
I think the main problem people have is with the parents who do NOT teach them.

I see misbehaving children every single time I go in public (ie yelling or screaming inside, touching things that don't belong to them, running around, being rude to others, general bad manners, jumping or standing on restaurant booths/shop displays/benches, pulling at their parents and whining, and obviously worse things etc.), and 80% of the time, the parents are teaching them to not do whatever it is they're doing. They're being corrected. That's great.

The other 20% of the time, the parent is ignoring them, engrossed in a cell phone conversation or text, using completely ineffectual reprimands or corrections, threatening them or bribing them. I accept the fact that not everyone has the same level of parenting skills, but a bit of common sense should work. If your kid is behaving badly, you have to make it stop or they'll keep doing it. Some just don't seem to care.

Like pegotty said, it is a process, but it must be an active, continuous process. I have two boys, both teenagers now, one of whom is autistic. Every single moment was an opportunity to teach and guide them, especially in public. There are no excuses.

 
Old 10-12-2014, 01:12 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,830,509 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pegotty View Post
My point is, where are parents supposed to teach their kids to behave if they can't take them out where they might be disruptive? I said in my original post that there are places children shouldn't go because they will be a disruption and that isn't fair to people trying to enjoy a meal or the theatre. But, the grocery store? Come on? Kids sometimes act up. And parents teach them. But one conversation isn't going to permanently change behavior. You have to repeat things with kids. It doesn't sink in right away. My kids have all had temper tantrums in the store. None of them do it anymore. It was a process. It didn't happen overnight. So if a kid is having a temper tantrum what sort of control would the OP recommend? Or what if they're just crying because they are tired, but you really need to get groceries because you don't have anything in the house for dinner? Why should this be such a big deal to someone? Have a little compassion for heavens sakes.

And my point is that in the original post the Mother did NOT attempt any sort of concrete correction of her children.

"Hush Johnny" while still sitting and looking at your magazine is not the same as actually physically getting your butt out of the chair, putting the magazine down, walking over and getting Johnny, taking him to the chair and having him sit down and you tell him that the Doctor's office is NOT the place to have his tantrum.
If he continues, you remove Johnny from the situation until he understands that his running amok will have consequences.

There was more than one time that I have left the grocery or department store because my children decided it was time to misbehave and not settle down.
I would have the grocery put my cart in the cooler section and we would go to our vehicle until things calmed down. Then I would go and continue shopping and all was well.

It has nothing to do with not having compassion but has everything to do with being sick of parents who do absolutely nothing to correct the behavior of their children.

Believe what you want but it does not change the fact that unruly children have not been taught consistently how to behave anywhere, let alone in public.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 01:31 AM
 
9,280 posts, read 5,788,929 times
Reputation: 7546
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
I had this experience just today. My gf and I were at Whole Foods and we were looking at the baked goods. Although many of them looked good, I wasn't too thrilled at the fact that none of them (and many of the foods there) were wrapped up or put in under a glass case; they were out on an open shelf for people to pick and choose. A moment later, something I saw proved my reservations were well founded. A couple's small child walked over, touching several of the loaves of bread and muffins with his hands, putting his hands in his mouth, then touching other loaves of bread again. His parents made no move to correct him. Instead they just joked to the bakery employee, "Do you want a free worker?" Then they grinned. Ick. However, people of any age can be ill behaved. At least kids have the excuse of not being grown up yet
Oh my gawd, I've never been in a Whole Foods or any other grocery where the baked goods weren't wrapped. Gross.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 01:40 AM
 
Location: Pac. NW
1,866 posts, read 1,339,761 times
Reputation: 3223
I've always been amazed at why public buildings/businesses won't allow animals (guide-dogs for handicapped people excepted) in their establishments, but they'll let unruly kids in.

Animals over kids any day!
 
Old 10-12-2014, 01:47 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,858 posts, read 10,318,535 times
Reputation: 9268
Quote:
Originally Posted by elan View Post
Oh my gawd, I've never been in a Whole Foods or any other grocery where the baked goods weren't wrapped. Gross.
Never seen it with muffins, etc...but the baguettes are only partially wrapped. Doesn't surprise me. My daughter's elementary school used to give out "awards" to buffet places like Golden Corral. Little kids would be running around and touching all of the food while their parents chilled out enjoying their meals. Yuck!
 
Old 10-12-2014, 01:59 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,882,400 times
Reputation: 4257
Quote:
Originally Posted by pegotty View Post
I find it disgusting that our society is so intolerant of children. Children are at a different developmental level than adults, but they are human beings who should be valued simply for that reason. Children may not yet understand the difference between an inside voice and outside voice. They may have less control over their physical bodies. They may not have mastered empathy and so aren't always thinking about how others are impacted by their behavior. I do think there are places where it is inappropriate to bring children too young to not be a disruption...the symphony or a show not intended for young children or certain restaurants. However, I in no way think they should be hidden from society until they are adults.

This thread reminds me of a painting I saw in a museum once. It was these little children in the victorian era, dressed like little adults. They were expected to act like adults at that time. The looks on their faces was so sad. I've seen that look on modern children with heavy handed parents who also think they should be "seen and not heard."
I agree with you on that. What I cannot understand why people cannot enjoy joy of that little creatures There are some levels I go nuts too to be honest but I learn to enjoy their active behavior. If we focus on being irritated only then we will be over the moon irritated. I think I have something similar what you mention about the painting when I was visiting Rome.
Unruly kids all the labels are coming from the people who cannot see kids as kids I think.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 02:10 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 2,882,400 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Feel better now?
I think so....for some reason OP is not happy about children. I feed and guide my child that is it I have no intention of educating others how to guide or feed, here in public places there is a board with is allowed what is not. I never experiences what OP say here where I live.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 02:23 AM
 
9,280 posts, read 5,788,929 times
Reputation: 7546
Quote:
Originally Posted by TXNGL View Post
Never seen it with muffins, etc...but the baguettes are only partially wrapped. Doesn't surprise me. My daughter's elementary school used to give out "awards" to buffet places like Golden Corral. Little kids would be running around and touching all of the food while their parents chilled out enjoying their meals. Yuck!
Oh that's right. I will never look at them the way I used too, lol.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 02:31 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,830,509 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeurich View Post
I think so....for some reason OP is not happy about children. I feed and guide my child that is it I have no intention of educating others how to guide or feed, here in public places there is a board with is allowed what is not. I never experiences what OP say here where I live.
That is NOT what the original poster stated, they stated they are not happy with unruly children who have parents who do not correct their unruly behavior in public, specifically the Doctor's office and restaurants.

The topic is not disliking children, the topic is disliking the behavior of children who are not taught how to behave, who have manners, who do not disrupt others and who are not screeching banshees in public.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Conroe, Texas
62 posts, read 68,085 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
My kid behaves like an angel, and has never misbehaved once. He does play rough sometimes, and attract attention. He kicks people to express annoyance, and often screams at the top of his lungs in a quiet restaurant, more from excitement than dismay. And he wastes a lot of food by serving himself a lot of something, taking one bite, and deciding he doesn't like it, then doing the same with something else. And he's so excited at a buffet that he always runs with his plate, even though he often falls with it and makes a big mess. He also likes to flip people off, just to see their reaction. But he's never actually misbehaved, so I don't have any reason to disclipine him.
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