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Old 10-12-2014, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Conroe, Texas
62 posts, read 68,064 times
Reputation: 304

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeantownGirl19 View Post
There are definitely some good parents out there though. Not too long ago I was loading groceries into my car in the Wal Mart parking lot next to a woman who was getting out of her minivan with four little boys. She lined them up and began going over rules for how to be behave in the store. She said if everyone was good they'd stop for ice cream afterwards and then asked what happens if you misbehave, to which the kids replied in unison "WE GO HOME!" It was really adorable.
That is the definitive of GOOD PARENTING.

Step one explain the rules, step 2 explain the consequences, step 3 follow through.

 
Old 10-12-2014, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Conroe, Texas
62 posts, read 68,064 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by pegotty View Post
I find it disgusting that our society is so intolerant of children. Children are at a different developmental level than adults, but they are human beings who should be valued simply for that reason. Children may not yet understand the difference between an inside voice and outside voice. They may have less control over their physical bodies. They may not have mastered empathy and so aren't always thinking about how others are impacted by their behavior. I do think there are places where it is inappropriate to bring children too young to not be a disruption...the symphony or a show not intended for young children or certain restaurants. However, I in no way think they should be hidden from society until they are adults.

This thread reminds me of a painting I saw in a museum once. It was these little children in the victorian era, dressed like little adults. They were expected to act like adults at that time. The looks on their faces was so sad. I've seen that look on modern children with heavy handed parents who also think they should be "seen and not heard."
Society is not intolerant of children. Society is intolerant of parents who do not teach their children that there is a time and place to be playful and loud, and there are times and places that they are to be quiet and considerate of others. Society is intolerant of parents who think child rearing duties end as soon as potty training and weaning is achieved.

Face it, from the time a child can walk and talk, they are in training for adulthood. They're source of reference comes entirely from their parents. Empathy, courtesy and self control are NOT natural born characteristics that develops magically with age - they are taught.

There were 9 children in my family, and we were raised on a farm, barefoot and rowdy, but for church, family reunions, and any social outing we attended, we were dressed and expected to act just like those "pathetic" Victorian Era painting children. When we got home it was back to shorts, t-shirts, baseball and bikes.

Put a sock in your bleeding heart and expect better of the coming generations. They are going to be running the world when you are aged and depending on their ability to rule society.

Last edited by peep531; 10-12-2014 at 08:32 AM..
 
Old 10-12-2014, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Conroe, Texas
62 posts, read 68,064 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Well darn now I have to send my children back to the milk man...

I cant wait until some of you have children and they misbehave in public! Youll know what it feels like to be that parent with that kid and all eyes are on you. IT DOESNT FEEL GOOD.

Sometimes its not about your child is in need of parenting, sometimes the child is having a very rough time. My 6yr old has sensory issues so if you and I were at a park and they had fireworks, shed be the one screaming her head off despite how many times i cuddle and say " shh, its ok" while you give me the stink eye, expect me to leave or expect me to never leave my house until shes better.
It seems rather cruel to put your child in situations that disturb her to the point of screaming her head off. Any child with special needs should be protected from environments that are detrimental to their particular conditions.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 08:15 AM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,240,196 times
Reputation: 21263
Quote:
Originally Posted by peep531 View Post
I'm so fed up having to tolerate ill-behaved children everywhere I go! Parents, you may be immune to your children's whining and squabbling with each other, and can tune them out, but we, the general public can't and shouldn't be expected to tolerate them in a restaurant, department store or of all places, the doctor's office.

Case on point - husband and I both sitting in doctor's office miserable with sinus infections waiting our turn while family of 5 show up in the waiting room. The whole place turns to chaos, one is throwing a tantrum, two are fighting and another is eating out of the potted plant. Mom is reading a magazine and barking orders to sit down and stop it, but they ignore her and get even rowdier running around the room and jumping off the chairs. We had to request to be moved to another waiting room.

It's to the point that we can't shop, tour museums, worship in church or dine in a restaurant without dodging kids racing shopping carts down aisles, toddlers in screaming tantrums, and snotty noses coming to our table to see what we're eating. God forbid that your approach the oblivious parents about it, you find out very quickly why the children are so unruly!

My siblings and I were raised to stand behind our parents with our hands folded and mouths shut while out in public. Table manners and polite responses were required, or we suffered the consequences swiftly. I raised my children the same way, and was never ashamed of them in public. I'm proud that they are doing the same with their children.

There is plenty of opportunity to give your child freedom to play, express themselves, and explore horizons at home and on a playground. Teach them some manners and regard for other people's space, respect for other's property, and you will be giving them one of the greatest lessons in life. You will also be doing the rest of the population a huge favor.
peep
I have discovered that after a kid gets to about 7 or 8 they are pretty much a lost cause, but if a smaller kid comes around you can get in his or her face and tell her to "Get the **** out of here" or you're going to "beat the **** out of them". Using the proper tone of voice and with enough crazy in your face and they will usually run scurrying back to their keeper in short order.

20yrsinBranson
 
Old 10-12-2014, 08:17 AM
 
6,124 posts, read 5,151,071 times
Reputation: 8352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
I think the main problem people have is with the parents who do NOT teach them.

I see misbehaving children every single time I go in public (ie yelling or screaming inside, touching things that don't belong to them, running around, being rude to others, general bad manners, jumping or standing on restaurant booths/shop displays/benches, pulling at their parents and whining, and obviously worse things etc.), and 80% of the time, the parents are teaching them to not do whatever it is they're doing. They're being corrected. That's great.

The other 20% of the time, the parent is ignoring them, engrossed in a cell phone conversation or text, using completely ineffectual reprimands or corrections, threatening them or bribing them. I accept the fact that not everyone has the same level of parenting skills, but a bit of common sense should work. If your kid is behaving badly, you have to make it stop or they'll keep doing it. Some just don't seem to care.

Like pegotty said, it is a process, but it must be an active, continuous process. I have two boys, both teenagers now, one of whom is autistic. Every single moment was an opportunity to teach and guide them, especially in public. There are no excuses.

This. And there is no such thing as "too young" for you to start correcting their behavior. My daughter has a business that she takes my eleven-month-old grandson to every day, and I babysit him there every afternoon. When he learned to crawl, then walk, we fixed a small play area in the back. Since becoming mobile (and is he FAST!) he's discovered that the store area's more fun, especially trying to pull things off shelves. I started disciplinig him by gently grabbing his hand or wrist and telling him "No!" in a cross voice then take him back to his play spot and try to get him interested in a toy. He insistenly bee lines back to the shelves, and we do this over and over, and I correct him over and over. He either: 1. cries, or 2. bites me, and earns himself a "time out" (where he has to sit on my lap for a few minutes, which is torture for such an active kid). My daughter thinks it's too strict, because he's "only a baby". Eventually he'll learn, and hopefully she'll thank me.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Conroe, Texas
62 posts, read 68,064 times
Reputation: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post


I would have the grocery put my cart in the cooler section and we would go to our vehicle until things calmed down. Then I would go and continue shopping and all was well.
Been there, done that! It works like a charm.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 10:22 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,486 posts, read 13,344,036 times
Reputation: 19912
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
I find myself quick to feel annoyed by normal childhood behavior when I'm out of sorts, but kids truly behaving badly isn't all that common. Really, it's not.
I work in retail so I realize I get more exposure than many people but unfortunately it is all too common to see children behaving badly.
I don't usually blame the kids though. I fault the clueless parents who are oblivious, or worse in that they actually think it's 'normal' or 'cute' when their kid bangs a cart through the aisles, drags out every toy on the shelf and leaves them on the floor, mouths products, is allowed to carry a toy through the store and then has a screaming fit at the checkout when the parent grabs the toy from them and tells them they aren't buying it today. I fault the parents who bring a cranky sick or tired child to the store, expecting to spend half an hour or longer while they shop.
Quote:
Or what if they're just crying because they are tired, but you really need to get groceries because you don't have anything in the house for dinner? Why should this be such a big deal to someone? Have a little compassion for heavens sakes.
... and this? No, please have compassion for the other people shopping and for the employees who have to deal with crying screaming kids all the time because far too many parents think this is a good idea. Grab what you MUST have and go, in and out in under 10 minutes, or better yet, make other arrangements. Call in a to go order, leave work early and grab groceries without the kid, plan ahead and keep an emergency stash of soup or pasta or whatever. Handle it the same way you would if YOU were the one too sick to go out and shop. I really don't get the parents who think it's okay to drag sick or tired kids around because it's more convenient for them.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Denver area
21,141 posts, read 22,112,687 times
Reputation: 35536
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
... and this? No, please have compassion for the other people shopping and for the employees who have to deal with crying screaming kids all the time because far too many parents think this is a good idea. Grab what you MUST have and go, in and out in under 10 minutes, or better yet, make other arrangements. Call in a to go order, leave work early and grab groceries without the kid, plan ahead and keep an emergency stash of soup or pasta or whatever. Handle it the same way you would if YOU were the one too sick to go out and shop. I really don't get the parents who think it's okay to drag sick or tired kids around because it's more convenient for them.

Compassion goes both ways.

Of course it is preferable to make other arrangements, but it is not always possible to do so. There is not always someone else to watch the child, not every job allows you to leave early so you can stop by the grocery store before the daycare pickup, the budget may not allow for calling in for a takeout order. Life happens and not always conveniently or perfectly planned. Are there clueless parents who don't seem to care a whit about others? Sure. But I believe most parents are usually doing the best they can or at least the best they know how to do on any given day. Some days we're all a bit better and more effective in our parenting than others; and some days we're just trying to get through it with everyone in one piece.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 11:02 AM
 
1,058 posts, read 1,707,517 times
Reputation: 1371
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
I work in retail so I realize I get more exposure than many people but unfortunately it is all too common to see children behaving badly.
I don't usually blame the kids though. I fault the clueless parents who are oblivious, or worse in that they actually think it's 'normal' or 'cute' when their kid bangs a cart through the aisles, drags out every toy on the shelf and leaves them on the floor, mouths products, is allowed to carry a toy through the store and then has a screaming fit at the checkout when the parent grabs the toy from them and tells them they aren't buying it today. I fault the parents who bring a cranky sick or tired child to the store, expecting to spend half an hour or longer while they shop.
... and this? No, please have compassion for the other people shopping and for the employees who have to deal with crying screaming kids all the time because far too many parents think this is a good idea. Grab what you MUST have and go, in and out in under 10 minutes, or better yet, make other arrangements. Call in a to go order, leave work early and grab groceries without the kid, plan ahead and keep an emergency stash of soup or pasta or whatever. Handle it the same way you would if YOU were the one too sick to go out and shop. I really don't get the parents who think it's okay to drag sick or tired kids around because it's more convenient for them.
IMO this is a huge factor. Its more convenient for the parent.
My circle of friends all have a running theory that we laugh about but take seriously:
When it comes to parenting, if one is presented with two scenarios, the scenario that is the most inconvenient to the parent is most likely the best choice.

Sadly, many parents are selfish and what is convenient to them is more important than the best interest of their kids.
 
Old 10-12-2014, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Denver area
21,141 posts, read 22,112,687 times
Reputation: 35536
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacatnv View Post
IMO this is a huge factor. Its more convenient for the parent.
My circle of friends all have a running theory that we laugh about but take seriously:
When it comes to parenting, if one is presented with two scenarios, the scenario that is the most inconvenient to the parent is most likely the best choice.

Sadly, many parents are selfish and what is convenient to them is more important than the best interest of their kids.
LOL - I have yet to meet the parent who finds it more convenient to shop with a young child in tow.
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