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Old 10-13-2014, 09:00 PM
 
480 posts, read 452,501 times
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Apparantly, the apple does not fall far from the tree.

 
Old 10-13-2014, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,137 posts, read 22,107,592 times
Reputation: 35503
OP where do you live that this is so very important?
 
Old 10-13-2014, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,294 posts, read 20,544,645 times
Reputation: 20159
Quote:
Originally Posted by joanna02 View Post
I will probably keep zipping for her until she is about 10.

On numerous occasions I have said to her "until your coat is zipped, we stay here, and if that means missing your favourite cartoons then so be it!", that usually does trick but she sulks the whole way to School or house.

As I have asked, how come she will zip no problem for daddy and teachers but not me, they nag her more than I do?
She doesn't zip for you, because she is manipulating you. Seriously, kids are so much smarter than you think! You answered your own question. If she zips for other people but not you......
 
Old 10-13-2014, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,203 posts, read 49,753,916 times
Reputation: 66975
Quote:
Originally Posted by joanna02 View Post
She whines though so to stop the whinging, I zip the coat. I know that is wrong but it is easier than listening to her complaints.
Mistake.

Let it go and ignore the whining.
 
Old 10-13-2014, 09:28 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,816,219 times
Reputation: 9351
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
OP where do you live that this is so very important?
Unless it's Verkhoyansk, Russia (and yes, I had to look that up....lol) or Antarctica then I don't see where natural consequences can't take place.
 
Old 10-13-2014, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,137 posts, read 22,107,592 times
Reputation: 35503
I don't disagree...mainly just curious. Not to mention it's only October.
 
Old 10-13-2014, 09:58 PM
 
894 posts, read 798,118 times
Reputation: 2627
Why argue with her? If she wants to freeze, let her freeze. She'll figure it out on her own.
 
Old 10-13-2014, 10:25 PM
 
7,695 posts, read 12,841,965 times
Reputation: 9599
My boys hated wearing a coat at all when they were simply going from house to car or car to building..

My only rule was to carry the coat so the teachers knew they had one ..
I felt they were smart enough to know if they were cold...

We had enough non negotiable rules to not want to worry about
things like wearing a coat..
 
Old 10-14-2014, 12:02 AM
 
3,279 posts, read 3,756,513 times
Reputation: 6149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
You are the one who needs re-training, not your daughter.

She has trained you to jump when she wants you to.

STOP zipping it for her. If you keep zipping her coat until she is 10 , guess what else you will be doing?

ANYTHING she wants.

Please do not raise a child like that. Next time she whines, tell her, "NO WHINING. Be cold or zip your coat, but don't whine like a baby."
Amen to that. Not only that, if the whining persists, that's when you grab the nearest paddle and say, very sternly, "would you like for me to give you a reason to whine?" It would sure stop then, for sure.

Regardless, I think to an extent letting them feel the discomfort of their bad choice is a key way to get through to them. I liken this to the time my son wouldn't stop taking his shoes off in the car, he was around age 3 at the time. I actually started asking around for shoes that could be tied up in such a way that removing them was impossible by the child. Lacking that, I determined he was going to stop. I didn't do the "stop taking them off or I'll beat your butt" method, though, I let him experience the pain of his bad choice. On a given occasion, he had removed his shoes, but I said and did nothing. That included the point when he exited the car and stepped onto the hot concrete barefoot, as it was sunny and about 95'F.

What do you think he wanted? At that point, he wanted nothing more than to have his shoes on. However, I locked the doors so he couldn't retrieve them. I let him, for a good 30 seconds or so, feel the pain of hot concrete on his bare feet. During such time, I then admonished him "are you EVER going to take your shoes off again without my permission?" He said "no," and said it like 3 more times because I kept saying things like "I can't hear you" and "are you going to listen to me from now on" etc. THEN I unlocked the doors so he could get them, and then HE put his shoes on himself. I figured if he could remove them, he could also put them on. He never repeated that mistake ever again.

I would say something along those lines would be called for here.
 
Old 10-14-2014, 12:56 AM
 
7,695 posts, read 12,841,965 times
Reputation: 9599
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguylh View Post

That included the point when he exited the car and stepped onto the hot concrete barefoot, as it was sunny and about 95'F.

What do you think he wanted? At that point, he wanted nothing more than to have his shoes on. However, I locked the doors so he couldn't retrieve them. I let him, for a good 30 seconds or so, feel the pain of hot concrete on his bare feet. During such time, I then admonished him "are you EVER going to take your shoes off again without my permission?" He said "no," and said it like 3 more times because I kept saying things like "I can't hear you" and "are you going to listen to me from now on" etc. THEN I unlocked the doors so he could get them, and then HE put his shoes on himself. I figured if he could remove them, he could also put them on. He never repeated that mistake ever again.

I would say something along those lines would be called for here.

Good Lord, this is child abuse..
The concrete gets to 150 degrees or more on that type day, which is hot enough to cause
blistering .....
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