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Old 10-29-2014, 11:10 PM
 
12,869 posts, read 19,592,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
Wow. All the bolded parts -is my son. Who is on the high autism level. Happy to go to school, as if doesn't understand that the social life will be hard that day, as every day. Complaining about random push or mocking, but happy to go to school again. Not knowing, how to connect with peers. Playing with much younger kids in the park. Rather talking at them about his interests, liking that the kids are sponging all his talk. Curious about how the world works -and yes, being deeply affected by some tv shows - tornadoes, volcanoes, construction, science. Not moderating his tone of voice = being loud, unless reminded. Yes, I tell the school psychologist and the teachers that it is as if he is 2-3 years behind emotionally. These are known and classified shortcomings of an ASD child. For which he gets an aide for about 10 hours a week at school.
Nuala, was it because of social immaturity that you sought a diagnosis? I'm curious as to how that helps a child high on the spectrum. If the OP's son is doing well academically, what exactly would an aide do (if indeed he is on the spectrum)?
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Old 10-29-2014, 11:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Nuala, was it because of social immaturity that you sought a diagnosis? I'm curious as to how that helps a child high on the spectrum. If the OP's son is doing well academically, what exactly would an aide do (if indeed he is on the spectrum)?
My son was diagnosed at 4, he is 9 now. I started noticing things from age 2 up, and it wasn't social immaturity then, per se. But now - it's like 1:1 copy to glass_of_merlot's child. My son does well academically. Math is his favorite. He just learned a second language, and studies in a bilingual English-French school. The aide helps with organization (visual schedule, he feels better when he knows the order of things: routine is needed). The aide facilitates the very social interactions, teaching him the rules of emotions (something an ASD person has to learn, just like learning a skill). She helps with him expressing himself, recognizing within what is happening. Sometimes with colors (I am 20% red, 80% green). Simply for pull-out sometimes, to relax away from the crowd. But it is only 1-2 hours a day, the rest of the day he functions like any other child.
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Old 10-30-2014, 03:51 AM
 
3,276 posts, read 2,458,851 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Look, there are a lot of "opinions" on this thread, just pick and choose carefully which ones you will give any credibility to and ignore the rest
But some opinions have basis and substance. Others do not. So one does not just have to pick and choose blindly. For example you claimed your opinion was backed up by studies - but have seemingly ignored the request to cite some of those studies. That is telling - and the OP should take this into account when evaluating your opinion - for example - against others on the thread.
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Old 10-30-2014, 06:32 AM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,222,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
My son was diagnosed at 4, he is 9 now. I started noticing things from age 2 up, and it wasn't social immaturity then, per se. But now - it's like 1:1 copy to glass_of_merlot's child. My son does well academically. Math is his favorite. He just learned a second language, and studies in a bilingual English-French school. The aide helps with organization (visual schedule, he feels better when he knows the order of things: routine is needed). The aide facilitates the very social interactions, teaching him the rules of emotions (something an ASD person has to learn, just like learning a skill). She helps with him expressing himself, recognizing within what is happening. Sometimes with colors (I am 20% red, 80% green). Simply for pull-out sometimes, to relax away from the crowd. But it is only 1-2 hours a day, the rest of the day he functions like any other child.
Your posts were VERY interesting.

And it's ironic that I made a correlation to the OP's child's statement about the kids "not hearing him" and "calling their names" with my dementia client, 89 years old.

Because I use the RED/GREEN technique with her, too. I keep emphasizing to her aids that they CANNOT create red moments or they're in worse trouble than not accomplishing the simple task of hygiene.

Of course at that stage of life, we're going for as much green as possible and not so interested in teaching her how to work with managing the red, since their abilities and potential are on the downswing not the upswing. It's much easier to say "OK, after lunch" to a dementia patient than a child who's going to not forget as easily.

I had no idea it was something for other brain disorders and just proves how complex the neurological challenges are.
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Old 10-30-2014, 06:37 AM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,222,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DonCarlodiCalatrava View Post
How "socially mature" were YOU at age 8? Do you actually believe that real children necessarily conform to the "criteria" set forth in self-help books? Has it not occurred to you that, in a society as wildly unpredictable and dysfunctional as ours, many of the "cultural norms" are themselves idiotic? Why do you want to squeeze your son into a prefabricated box?
She was probably socially mature enough to recognize that NOBODY in her class would speak with her or play with her and that she had to repeatedly be told to stop touching/pushing/getting loud in other kid's faces even IF that came from a place of ENTHUSIASM.

And she was probably socially mature enough to want to socialize with someone OTHER than her mom watching television, even IF the only cooperative candidates were half her age.

Do you have children?
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Old 10-30-2014, 06:39 AM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,222,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
Well, that depends on his personality. Not everyone needs a lot of friends, and many of us are happiest with just one or two. Again, I would ask if he's naturally an introvert (don't try to change him) or if he isn't and something else is going on.
People keep IGNORING the child is NOT an introvert.

He is continually TRYING to make friends at school and failing and unable to articulate what is going on properly. "they can't hear me even though I keep calling their names".

WHEN did you EVER hear a child say something like THAT? Now, if the OP is a first time mother she'd have NO WAY of hearing that as shocking. If you've been around KIDS for a zillion years raising them, having their friends over, socializing with other friends's siblings you know IMMEDIATELY that that's a red flag. It just doesn't HAPPEN nor do any (non spectrum) kids DESCRIBE being ostracized in that way.

He talks about seeing "His friends" at school but really doesn't have any.

NOBODY is calling or inviting him to play on the weekends either.

He has been told he is TOO FAMILIAR with other people IE being too handsy touching them and has to be prompted/coached on what is appropriate.

These are not characteristics of the introvert.
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Old 10-30-2014, 06:41 AM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,222,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texdav View Post
He's 8 year old. But I might make a suggestion. Find out something with social interaction to join him into he will accept at least. I am 67 and when I was that age I and all my friends attended ballroom dancing classes which taught a lot more than that really. The fact that everyone did it made it easier to accept. But really now I see it was a conspiracy of mothers. I think so many now just do not interact especially with both sexes activity. When it came to attending a dance I had no problem approaching and asking girls as they had taught that in class. I also knew now to dance after asking. I married a Cajun (Louisana French heritage). My wife then and its still is common; went to Cajun dance halls with parents; there family affairs. Kids are common and no one gets out of hand. They start by dancing with father in his arms; then the mother by joining palms facing each other to see steps; then line dances. My wife can cut a rug I can tell you from waltz to ******- bug and no paid lessons. But still some in their 60-late 70's can waltz like they are still 20's. Get him going is my advise altho you might have to give it some thought and effort.
Very sweet and very WISE.
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:09 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,021,919 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
People keep IGNORING the child is NOT an introvert.

He is continually TRYING to make friends at school and failing and unable to articulate what is going on properly. "they can't hear me even though I keep calling their names".

WHEN did you EVER hear a child say something like THAT? Now, if the OP is a first time mother she'd have NO WAY of hearing that as shocking. If you've been around KIDS for a zillion years raising them, having their friends over, socializing with other friends's siblings you know IMMEDIATELY that that's a red flag. It just doesn't HAPPEN nor do any (non spectrum) kids DESCRIBE being ostracized in that way.

He talks about seeing "His friends" at school but really doesn't have any.

NOBODY is calling or inviting him to play on the weekends either.

He has been told he is TOO FAMILIAR with other people IE being too handsy touching them and has to be prompted/coached on what is appropriate.

These are not characteristics of the introvert.
I agree that this child doesn't sound like an introvert based on what the parent wrote.

I do caution you on diagnosing a child over the Internet based on a few comments written by the parent. There are many children who exhibit these characteristics who do not have serious issues.

Being "handsey" is very very common in many young children.

Friendship before third grade is very fluid and spontaneous for many children. They may not even know their friends names. Kids see others as friends, even if we know they really aren't friends.

Starting in second grade the friendships start to deepen and kids start self segregating, although there are always children left out on the fringes in all the grade levels. Kids are brutal.

Some kids can ignore other children and adults fairly easily. when you are in the classroom, sometimes you hear a child say another's name repeatedly. They have to be taught that some kids need less interaction and just want to sit quietly or do their work.( sometimes it can be five or more times. It's like nails on a chalkboard....)

The OP's child may have deeper issues, but they may not. I believe the OP is now aware of many different issues it might be, and can continue to seek help from professionals if she/he chooses.
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:54 AM
 
171 posts, read 137,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
My son was diagnosed at 4, he is 9 now. I started noticing things from age 2 up, and it wasn't social immaturity then, per se. But now - it's like 1:1 copy to glass_of_merlot's child. My son does well academically. Math is his favorite. He just learned a second language, and studies in a bilingual English-French school. The aide helps with organization (visual schedule, he feels better when he knows the order of things: routine is needed). The aide facilitates the very social interactions, teaching him the rules of emotions (something an ASD person has to learn, just like learning a skill). She helps with him expressing himself, recognizing within what is happening. Sometimes with colors (I am 20% red, 80% green). Simply for pull-out sometimes, to relax away from the crowd. But it is only 1-2 hours a day, the rest of the day he functions like any other child.


Just because a child is doing well academically doesn't mean they don't need help socially. My son also has an aide at school but only for unstructured activities. The aide is there to intervene if there are problems at recess and to give a warning about transitions -i e 2 minutes before we go back to class. He doesn't get help with academics as that isn't the problem.

If the kid had at least one friend I don't think thats such a big deal but this kid has none, zilch (according to what the OP has written),sorry but that is a cause for concern and intervention.
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Old 10-30-2014, 09:45 AM
 
12,869 posts, read 19,592,119 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
My son was diagnosed at 4, he is 9 now. I started noticing things from age 2 up, and it wasn't social immaturity then, per se. But now - it's like 1:1 copy to glass_of_merlot's child. My son does well academically. Math is his favorite. He just learned a second language, and studies in a bilingual English-French school. The aide helps with organization (visual schedule, he feels better when he knows the order of things: routine is needed). The aide facilitates the very social interactions, teaching him the rules of emotions (something an ASD person has to learn, just like learning a skill). She helps with him expressing himself, recognizing within what is happening. Sometimes with colors (I am 20% red, 80% green). Simply for pull-out sometimes, to relax away from the crowd. But it is only 1-2 hours a day, the rest of the day he functions like any other child.
Thank you for the clarification. I can see how that would be helpful.
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