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Old 10-28-2014, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
The OP's son isn't being bullied. He's happy.
Almost as bad as being bullied, he's being ignored and shunned by classmates

I am happy of course that he is not currently being bullied, but I would be concerned that by middle school such a child would be at higher risk for bullying.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:09 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Hopes, I took her to mean kids like our OP's - immature, no friends, unable to act appropriately around peers. I do not think she was intending to diagnose this child or say he has any kind of problem like Aspergers
Okay. Since she shared in a previous post that he sounded like her child with Asperger's, I thought she meant that when he said kids like this. The reality is there are many different Asperger's experiences.

When I read the OP, I was instantly impressed that she didn't share he is being bullied. His getting along well with younger children, even leading younger children, is an indication he may just be socially immature. That's the OP's opinion of her child, and she certainly knows him better than the rest of us.

Oh, geeze. It sounds like there's a tornado in the works, doesn't it, lovesmountains? My windows are rattling and they never do that.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,129,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Okay. Since she shared in a previous post that he sounded like her child with Asperger's, I thought she meant that when he said kids like this. The reality is there are many different Asperger's experiences.

When I read the OP, I was instantly impressed that she didn't share he is being bullied. His getting along well with younger children, even leading younger children, is an indication he may just be socially immature. That's the OP's opinion of her child, and she certainly knows him better than the rest of us.

Oh, geeze. It sounds like there's a tornado in the works, doesn't it, lovesmountains? My windows are rattling and they never do that.
Literally and figuratively Hopes
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,990,096 times
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It gets better for some kids but not others. My niece is ten and extremely socially immature. Kids do not want to be friends with her, either. She is academically ahead. For her, I don't see it getting better, but for some kids it would. Some kids are on the spectrum. Some kids just need guidance. Some kids are just immature. My sisters and I have strong suspicions that my niece is on the spectrum, but my mom (has custody) will hear nothing of that.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:16 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,076,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Almost as bad as being bullied, he's being ignored and shunned by classmates
We don't know that he's being shunned by all his classmates. He could be drawn to a couple of children who are not interested in him. She won't know what's really happening until she talks to the teacher, but the fact he's not coming home upset by it and looks forward to going to school are very good signs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I am happy of course that he is not currently being bullied, but I would be concerned that by middle school such a child would be at higher risk for bullying.
I share the same concerns. That's why I made recommendations on how she can help him build his social skills without drawing negative attention to what's worrying her.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:18 PM
 
Location: New Mexico via Ohio via Indiana
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This kid sounds like he needs a "team" of sorts, be it athletics or another activity with kids his age.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
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By the way, some kids are introverts, yes. However, being an introvert is NOT the same thing as being socially immature. Being socially immature is something that very often can, and should, be addressed. Being an introvert is just part of someone's personality.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:39 PM
gg
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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Sports are great. If he doesn't like team, get him into anything! Sports are key for many boys to get involved and be part of something. It also provides structure and keeping in shape.
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Old 10-28-2014, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
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By the way, just because he seems to not notice it now doesn't mean it won't be a problem in the future. I'm an introvert, and the boy doesn't sound like one. He sounds like a boy who just doesn't realize the other kids don't want to be around him (just like my niece). If that's the truth, he'll likely notice it as he gets older. Parents know their kids, and if your son isn't an introvert it is something that can be looked into. If he is an introvert don't try to change him.
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Old 10-28-2014, 07:42 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,109,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
By the way, some kids are introverts, yes. However, being an introvert is NOT the same thing as being socially immature. Being socially immature is something that very often can, and should, be addressed. Being an introvert is just part of someone's personality.
This is a very good point. I am sure the OP is a bit overwhelmed by the responses here.

My advice from working with hundreds of children...Be aware that some children have issues like ADHD and other things, but they are in the minority.

All of the posters have given some very good advice, but no one knows your child. So take everything with a grain of salt.

Take a breath and realize that social immaturity is much more common than other more serious issues. If you provide the support and opportunity to learn socialization, almost every child will improve. Most children go through this process by second grade, which is why your child is having issues. That doesn't mean he will continue to have issues. I have taught lots of immature students who have gone on to have full and productive lives with zero issues. Even the ones with serious issues have been successful for the most part.

Good luck to you!

Last edited by Meyerland; 10-28-2014 at 08:59 PM..
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