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My 3 1/2 year old has always been a good sleeper. Up until a few months ago, he would sleep through the night, every night. This continued through transitions from crib to toddler bed, and then to a "big boy" bed. Even though he could easily get out of bed he never did. However, we always kept the door locked so he could not roam the house at night.
Then, this past spring, we potty trained. Everything went great. We kept him in pullups at night for a few months, until it was obvious that he was waking up dry every morning. He was excited and ready to move completely to underwear at night. This also meant we took the child safety lock off his door so he could use the potty in the middle of the night. While a necessary step, it turned out to be a HUGE mistake.
Now, our formerly good sleeper gets us up 1-3 times a night, *every* night. Sometimes, he needs to use the potty and refuses to use it by himself. He is perfectly capable of using the potty by himself, he does so during the day and at daycare with no assistance. At night? Nope! One of us has to stand in the bathroom while he uses the potty. He also insists he needs us to "tuck him in." Again, he can do this himself. We've watched him do it. Nope, he insists he can't do it. Now it's gotten so bad that he wanders in at 3 AM, insisting "I need to tell you something" or "I just want to give you a hug and a kiss." And, of course, needing to be tucked back in.
He's also not staying in bed in the morning. We have a firm "not before 7 AM" wakeup rule, which he's always been content with; if he awoke early, he'd stay in his bed and talk to his stuffed animals until we got him. Not anymore! Now he runs in asking if it's time to get up. We say no, escort him back to bed, close door, tell him we'll come get him. This occasionally repeats if he awakens very early.
It's horribly exhausting and I don't know what to do. We always insist that he goes back to his bed ASAP. Has anyone else dealt with this? Do we just have to suck it up until he's comfortable using the bathroom at night? We have a nightlight in the bathroom, and he has one of those soft turtles with a nightlight by his bed. We've experimented with different blankets, making sure his pajamas are keeping him warm (but not too warm), etc. It's awful.
--Sleepless in Connecticut
Why not ask him why he's getting up or not using the bathroom by himself? Maybe afraid of the dark? Plus if you locked him in before you don't know if he was getting up and just walking around his room. I would find out why he's doing it. Sounds to me like he is afraid of the dark or wants more attention. Before he could talk to his stuffed animals. He's growing up and now he wants to talk to you.
When my oldest daughter was night time potty training (age 2) we had one of those toddler potty things and we kept it in her room so that she could use the potty without leaving her room. In our case, this was because she was NOT able to use the regular potty without assistance, and would therefore end up wetting herself if she had to use it in the night. My youngest is 5 and still not ready to use the potty overnight, so it will be a different story for her since she will be able to use the regular potty by herself. For now, she's still in pull-ups though.
Anyway, would it help your problem if you put a toddler potty in his room to use overnight, and then you could replace the safety lock again?
Get him one of these to help with the morning issue. Don't come to us until your clock is X color, but if you wake up and want to play quietly in your room or look at books... yada yada yada.
I don't remember them ever getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom when they were that age. By the time they were out of diapers they were able to sleep through the entire night.
Maybe he's consuming fluids right before bed. Don't let him drink anything for at least an hour before bedtime, and tell him he has to pee before going to sleep.
You were locking the bedroom door every night? I'm surprised thats legal.
I don't know about the legality, but I would never lock my kids in a room! Sometimes they just need a little extra attention or cuddling at night. I keep picturing this poor kid trying and trying to get out of a locked room! That's sad.
I don't know about the legality, but I would never lock my kids in a room! Sometimes they just need a little extra attention or cuddling at night. I keep picturing this poor kid trying and trying to get out of a locked room! That's sad.
Yeah, I don't want to be harsh on the OP at all, not my intent. But he didn't get up before because he was locked in a room and powerless. Now he has the power (I think) he should have had all along, of course he wants to check on his parents at night. My kids grew out of that, but they were allowed to all along. They also quickly learned how to get back in bed on their own. Now they still come in sometimes. My son often comes in for cuddles in the morning, my daughter will come in if she had a nightmare. I think it must feel very, very lonely to be locked in a room until 7am.
I don't know about the legality, but I would never lock my kids in a room! Sometimes they just need a little extra attention or cuddling at night. I keep picturing this poor kid trying and trying to get out of a locked room! That's sad.
Are you serious?
For most of his life, he was in a crib. He couldn't get out! He was in a crib until he was 2.5. Once he moved to a toddler bed, we put one of those white 'safety knobs' on his door so he wouldn't roam the house and harm himself while we were sleeping. Our room was right next door; on the rare times that he woke in distress for any reason we were in his room instantly.
I'm baffled that several people have commented on this. I really am. Literally every single parent I know has done something similar to prevent their very young children from wandering the house at night. I don't personally know of a single parent who allows their toddlers to roam at night like that.
As for now, of course I want my child to come to me if he is upset or in distress. But coming in at 3 AM "because I want to tell you something" or he wants to play isn't OK, and I want to stop this as soon as possible.
We don't give him liquids before bed, so we're puzzled as to why he's suddenly having to use the potty every night. For months he was sleeping through the night, and his nighttime pullup was dry in the morning. I think he might be waking for other reasons, and then wakes up enough to need the potty.
I'm trying to find some solutions to help him understand that he shouldn't be roaming into our rooms 1-3 times a night, *every* night. I'm not talking about nightmares, or being sick, or scared. Re:scared of the dark, he's not coming into our room scared and upset, which I would understand. (As I've mentioned, he has a nightlight in his room AND in the bathroom). He's coming in because he wants to "play", or because he wants help with the potty. Or both.
It's been extraordinarily difficult to go to work everyday and stay focused and alert because I'm so sleep deprived. Last night he woke us up 3 times. So...tired... Ironic, because he started sleeping through the night at 3 months of age. So now that he's 3, he's decided to wake us up!
ETA: Thank you for the suggestion on the color changing clock, we might try that!
Ok, I'm beginning to really wonder...
One person said that their 5 year old still can't use the potty by themselves, and now the OP says that her son was 2.5 and still in a crib?
My grandkids - 11 months apart - both at the moment, 3 years old - have both been out of a crib since before they were 2 - and are both very capable of going to the bathroom (#1 & #2) successfully and hygienically....
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