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The BF "had previously made it clear that he was onlly interested in having sex with her". If this is the case, I don't think it's necessary to break up in person.
The BF "had previously made it clear that he was onlly interested in having sex with her". If this is the case, I don't think it's necessary to break up in person.
Well, at the point that that became obvious, he'd have quickly become an ex-boyfriend, for sure!
The BF "had previously made it clear that he was onlly interested in having sex with her". If this is the case, I don't think it's necessary to break up in person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga
Well, at the point that that became obvious, he'd have quickly become an ex-boyfriend, for sure!
I would take that with a grain of salt. The comment was made by a father. One who's post history suggests he would have a similar thought for pretty much any male who was interested in his daughter. The boy and his daughter had a long term relationsip. A boy who "only wanted sex" could presumably have found that without investing the effort in a year long relationship with an uninterested partner. Assuming she was in fact uninterested.
I'm kind of surprised that everyone recommended the house to do it. Personally, I recommend a public place like a Starbucks or McDonalds or ice cream shop or whatever. The main reason is that you don't have to listen to the rebuttal speech. You can deliver yours and go, and there is far less chance of a scene of any kind.
I don't get it. The guy only dated her for sex and you are worried about her breaking up with him? If you are concerned your daughter can't handle it, confront him yourself, Dad.
Why should the kid be in college? Isn't it a bit presuptuous to think so?
Well after one year my daughter has decided to break up with her first real boyfriend. To be honest I couldn't be happier. This young man is a year older, should be in college but works at K-Mart, and had previously made it clear that he seemed to only be interested in having sex with my daughter. She is now asking my ex and I how should she break up. I said since he had been a jerk in the past and his behavior is the reason why she came to the decision I said send him a text. It saves the trouble of having to hear his "pitch". My ex of course gave different advice and said she should do this in person at the house where she would feel safe. My ex then got into it with me on my advice. I took the high road for as long as I could then I reminded my ex of the fact that she told me she wanted a divorce AFTER she started sleeping with her current boyfriend, so IMO her advice was just the nice thing to say considering she doesn't really practice what she preaches. I want my daughter to continue to come to me, but it feels as though if my advice is not the sugar coated big hug type of advice I get flack. My daughter is now 17, and she is headed for college. I think the focus should be on that and this other stuff is a waste of time. In the real world sometimes people aren't nice to each other.
What's wrong with an 18 year old guy working at Wal-Mart? Having a job is a GOOD thing. And a one year age difference is nothing. As for the sex part, just about every teenage couple has sex. Sorry Mom. It sounds like this is a classic case of, "No boy is good enough to date my daughter." She should break up with him in person. They have been dating a while. Texting really bad news is so rude and mean. Even if he is a jerk (which I'm skeptical), he deserves better than that. You and your ex's experience should not be a consideration in this. It's about your daughter and her boyfriend.
The BF "had previously made it clear that he was only interested in having sex with her". If this is the case, I don't think it's necessary to break up in person.
I did ask that question MONTHS ago as to why she still wanted to go out with him, but why follow the advice of the father? I'm not a weekend dad I'm actually involved in her life and see her every day. I was told (by my ex) to just let it play itself out because if I pressure her to leave him she will do the exact opposite. Since I no longer live in the house I followed her advice. If I sound a bit angry its because while it took her a year to do so on her own BOTH my wife and I did not like the young man. He has no direction, and working in K-mart now for him seems to be just fine. The other reason we were not thrilled with him is because of his interest in being intimate with my daughter. She first shared this with my ex, and yet again I was told to let it play itself out. Although I admit to being a protective father I'm not going to "be nice" when it comes to trying to keep her safe. Thankfully she saw the light on her own. Don't you all want your kids to be in relationships with someone who will grow with them and be able to bring something to the table?? Taking the high road as her father is tough enough being divorced as now I feel that I have little input on what is going on with her even though I see and talk to her every day. I'm not in the house any more. A few months ago she was sneaking out the house at 2A.M. to spend time with this young man and I found out BEFORE my ex and she is living under the same roof with her. Of course the question was not her behavior, but how I found out she was sneaking out the house. How "hands off" do I have to be before she really gets hurt? She has excellent grades and is looking forward to going to college. I don't want her to loose focus of what should be the one of the most important times of her young life.
What's wrong with an 18 year old guy working at Wal-Mart? Having a job is a GOOD thing. And a one year age difference is nothing. As for the sex part, just about every teenage couple has sex. Sorry Mom. It sounds like this is a classic case of, "No boy is good enough to date my daughter." She should break up with him in person. They have been dating a while. Texting really bad news is so rude and mean. Even if he is a jerk (which I'm skeptical), he deserves better than that. You and your ex's experience should not be a consideration in this. It's about your daughter and her boyfriend.
There is NOTHING WRONG WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD GUY WORKING AT K-MART. I just would also like it if he were going to school as well. Hey at least get a job working civil service (something that also has health and dental benefits) I get that college is not for everyone, but in today's world you need to better prepare for your future even if you are not quite sure what you want to do. You can't clean toilets now without a Master's Degree. Education is very important. You work at K-mart when you go to high school or college full time, or are retired and need something to do to pass the time away. I don't have a degree yet I make 100K a year, so yes I get the argument about not deciding to go to college. However when I made that decision I had a plan. I still had to go back to school and get some education. I have about 43 college credits. My point is College is now no longer an option in most cases, and those who choose not to go must have a plan on how to provide for themselves and/or their families. This young man did not. I don't want my daughter to have to feel as though she has to "Take care of someone financially" because she got her education.
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