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I think the answer lies somewhere between 'providing everything they ask for' and 'make them work and earn it'. Granted its not really applicable because even preschoolers use ipads now. How do you make them earn it? But it is possible to set limits and rules. I love it when my son works on spelling related apps, not so much when he is playing angry birds! So its all subjective. And so is the question, how many toys are enough, where do you draw the line. We convince ourselves on the learning value of some toys, and sometimes I just give in because he nagged me that successfully. I am not a perfect parent. In a world full of so many distractions, kudos to any parent who ends up raising a kid without a sense of entitlement.
But yes it is irritating to see a family in a restaurant busy with a smartphone and ipad, so maybe OP was coming off of something like that.
Location: In Thy presence is fulness of joy... Psa 16:11
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Speaking as one from the NT Fellowship, I'll offer my "2 bits"...
We weren't rich, probably lower middle income. However, having folks who gave me plenty of things, nice clothes, an allowance to spend, and quite a bit of freedom; yet not available to train, help direct my interest and energies, or guide me to make wise decisions brought a "spoiling" affect.
It took many years after leaving home to "grow up" ... to learn to think ... learn to have a good work ethic ... learn to care for others' needs besides my own.
It took following the Bible, in a marriage where my spouse and I came to agree that we'd do things God's way, not the way we'd been raised.
We didn't do it in rebellion against our folks, but with the recognition that we'd lacked some important aspects of parental guidance. We didn't want our children to suffer the lack, as we had.
So, our children (all 3 are grown now) learned early to begin to "do their share." Each one learned to cook, clean the house, do laundry, change diapers, shop for wholesome foods, and so on.
Even though one of our children isn't a Christian, he is a real help to his spouse because of his training at home; and he is using the training he learned at home to help raise their child.
The other two children are strong Christians, have a good work ethic, care for other people, and are a joy to have around.
It takes work, love and prayer to raise children right!
TV's, movies, video games, etc. can't be babysitters!
Public education will work against your training, if you are a Bible-believing Christian. Home-schooling or a private school is a better place for young people being raised in Christian homes.
Children must be taught to respect adults. Discipline isn't child abuse. It is lovingly correcting and teaching a child that he/she cannot be a monster and expect everyone to kow-tow to him/her.
Work is a good thing. Working beside your child teaches them how to do the job right. Smiling encouragement, showing them appreciation for a job well done, and saying "thanks" to them builds up their confidence in a good way.
This means we have to fully involve ourselves in our children's lives. Many people don't want that kind of commitment. And their children suffer because of it.
Every generation has some who will give themselves to raising their children; and those children will be a real benefit to others because of it.
God bless!
just an aside here: There are plenty of good parents raising good kids without a sense of entitlement who are not christians. We happen to be some of those parents and to assert that raising kids in a certain religion means they will not be "bad" is very naive and there are plenty of people out there as examples.
There is a difference between spoiling your kids and giving your kids some benefits because you can afford them. I gave my kids everything that I could afford when they were young. If I bought a new fishing outfit, I bought 3. If they needed something, I bought it for them. Even when they were nearing driving ages, I helped them build their first cars and put most of the money into them. BUT, I did those things because they deserved them and earned them.
Both of them were very good kids, were never in trouble, and appreciated the things we did for them. When we were low on money they understood that too, and never complained if we couldn't do something for them. Even when they were 6 or 7 they would come up to me in a store and ask "Dad, do we have any extra money this week ?" I knew they saw something they wanted, and if I said we did they would ask if they could buy it. But if I said "no, money is tight right now" they would say "ok, Dad, we understand" and that was the end of it.
So, I can see how just throwing stuff at your kids could produce "spoiled kids" but if you treat them as adults and let them know that the rewards they are getting is because they earned them, it is a totally different situation. Today, both of my Sons are hard working, productive men and are just as generous with things they give me as I gave to them when they were growing up.
thanks for the replies. Just wanted to correct that I am not speaking as a whole here but "parents"...as in general; those that buy everything for their kids. A PS4 for a 5 years old kid or an iPad for them to play games on. To me it is spoiled! Their time should be spent playing with other kids and play the real life kids games instead of electronic ones. Granted certain computer games may strategically help them but most aren't.
I do have a baby boy. He is NOT going to be spoiled like most parents I have seen. Throwing iPads, iPods and other electronic stuff everywhere, making it looks like those are useless items. I don't care if they are 5 or 10 and not able to rationalize; the point isn't about kids, it's about the parents.
My generation? Is when Internet was running 56k dial up connection; when PC was running Windows 3.x and when a cell phone is of a brick size. That's my generation.
I know limiting kids on things could also limit their ability to learn and grow; but definitely there are other ways to compensate. Reading all these replies really enlightened me on a few aspects. I expect harsh replies and it does help me understand better. I know to each parent their own ways of raising kids, but I just wanted to know their perspectives on why? why spoil your children? treating them as adults when they are kids is right also? Then their youth is no longer valid then?
thanks for the replies. Just wanted to correct that I am not speaking as a whole here but "parents"...as in general; those that buy everything for their kids. A PS4 for a 5 years old kid or an iPad for them to play games on. To me it is spoiled! Their time should be spent playing with other kids and play the real life kids games instead of electronic ones. Granted certain computer games may strategically help them but most aren't.
I do have a baby boy. He is NOT going to be spoiled like most parents I have seen. Throwing iPads, iPods and other electronic stuff everywhere, making it looks like those are useless items. I don't care if they are 5 or 10 and not able to rationalize; the point isn't about kids, it's about the parents.
My generation? Is when Internet was running 56k dial up connection; when PC was running Windows 3.x and when a cell phone is of a brick size. That's my generation.
I know limiting kids on things could also limit their ability to learn and grow; but definitely there are other ways to compensate. Reading all these replies really enlightened me on a few aspects. I expect harsh replies and it does help me understand better. I know to each parent their own ways of raising kids, but I just wanted to know their perspectives on why? why spoil your children? treating them as adults when they are kids is right also? Then their youth is no longer valid then?
I get what you mean. I had dial up until a few years ago and didn't get a cell phone until a year ago. I never had a TV in my room or a computer. My video game time as kid was limited to an hour every other day. And I would raise my kids the same if I had any.
Lmao like we all cradled our babies and dreamed about giving them an iPad.
When your child gets to kindergarten, you will realize that this technology is already being used. My son (4.5) is in a junior kibdergarten at the elementary school. Plain public school. Guess what they use? Ipads.
Non-parents or parents of wee babes can dream all they want, but you aren't seeing the reality of what young children's worlds are.
New parents know everything about what their kids will do or ne, eh?
Their time should be spent playing with other kids and play the real life kids games instead of electronic ones.
The problem with your rant is that iPads and playing outside are not mutually exclusive.
It's not as if every kid who has access to electronics NEVER does anything else.
Owning iPad =/= spoiled. Spoiling can be done without electronics as well.
It's good to have standards for your own children. It's NOT COOL to judge other parents when you actually know VERY LITTLE about their lives.
Keep your nose under your own tent.
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