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Not sure where to post this, so pls move it if it belongs in, say, parenting.
We hosted the son of a very dear friend over the Thanksgiving break. He is the same age as my daughter, almost 13. I have two other girls. There was a lot of chaos over the holidays. Lots of cousins, lots of kid conflict. This boy and my daughter have hung out before a couple of times, but it seemed strained this past week. It was stressing me out! Until my sister in law rolled her eyes and pointed out that it was all part of the dating ritual.
Sure enough, by the end of the week, they were being very cute with each other. Still the "You're so mean" banter, but also a lot of cuteness. They are both very innocent kids and this kind of interaction is very new to both of them. As a parent I am very vigilant and watchful and nothing has "happened" except maybe a little hand holding and sitting a little too close on the couch or in the car. The whole thing is super cute.
Havent mentioned it to my husband bcs I think he would flip out. Do I need to mention it to his parents?? Not in a tattle tale way. But in a "by the way...hahaha" Part of me wants to, because it really is so sweet and cute. But I guess I don't want them lecturing him and nipping it in the bud prematurely.
Opinions?
He's spending the weekend again in a few weeks..and just as a little background, he's living in the States for the year and I'm his local guardian, so I keep his parents abreast of everything else...
As long as you're observing, I wouldn't sweat it...its pretty normal. I remember that, at that age, there were little crushes and flirtations between me and some of the sons of my mom's circle of friends, where our families did a lot together. It WAS awkward-ish, but it's also just a puberty thing.
You know, when his parents gets to see how his son is around your daughter, they probably will know. I am sure sooner or later they will get to see the kids togetehr. It is super cute
Best to stay out of it while maintaining your vigilance. You don't need your house turned into a teenage bordello, but you also don't need to come down like a ton of bricks on two young kids that are in a "flirty" relationship. It doesn't sound like either one of them is ready to take things too far, so there is no harm in it. These early "dating" relationships are important for developing social and relationship skills.
I would perhaps ask my daughter if there is anything she wants to talk about after the boy leaves and see what she says. No different than if you saw your daughter being the same way with any boy. No need to say anything to his parents.
I wouldn't mention it. They are super sensitive about things at this age and it could fizzle quickly. But...you have got to be 110% on top of watching them. Things can go a lot faster then we expect them to, even at 13.
If you think they might slip by you, I'd then talk to the parents about why he can't spend the night
Thanks for the input. I appreciate it. Yeah, I guess I won't say anything to the parents. I was just so tickled by what I witnessed that I was tempted to share it with them.
My daughter swears up and down that I'm crazy. Haha. So I'm not going to make a bigger deal out of it than it is. And things at this age do fizzle and accelerate quickly, so I will stay hyper vigilant.
The funny thing is that I used to have a HUGE crush on his dad when I was a kid, so it's sweet to see the two kids be sweet to each other.
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