Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-22-2014, 08:53 AM
 
12,062 posts, read 10,274,252 times
Reputation: 24801

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by gardener34 View Post
"Some people want kids young." Unfortunately, the girls are not married. And they don't want to marry the father because then they lose their government assistance because the combined income level is too high. You should see the address book of my children's elementary school... most of the names in it, the mom and dad have different last names. They aren't married and all are on programs.

I am sure this is now the norm in the majority of the country now. I don't think people want to be self sufficient anymore.
well those moms are going to be in for a big surprise when those kids hit 18 and those bennies are cut off. Then you will have a bunch of 40-50 year old women looking for support, job etc without any skills.

Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt - lol. Then their kids can't afford to take care of them and anyway - its a sad situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-22-2014, 10:06 AM
 
Location: On The Road Full Time RVing
2,341 posts, read 3,497,278 times
Reputation: 2230
Quote:
Originally Posted by tht1guy View Post

Personally i think its irresponsible because we need to enjoy our youth,
and shouldnt be focused on being an dult so quickly.
They are adults when they are 18.

It may be irresponsible to you but most people do not think that way.

When I was 18 I married a women who was 23 .
She had 2 children, a boy 7 who was in the second grade,
and a girl 5 in kindergarten, and one year later whe had a boy of our own.


Quote:
Originally Posted by tht1guy View Post
Because 9 times out of 10 we dont have a college degree,
and or a job making $100,000 plus a year to afford having 2-3 kids.
I did not want a college degree,
and it does not take $100,000 plus a year to afford 2-3 children even today.

.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2014, 10:56 AM
 
Location: All Over
4,003 posts, read 6,100,078 times
Reputation: 3162
Quote:
Originally Posted by bumpus7 View Post
They are adults when they are 18.

It may be irresponsible to you but most people do not think that way.

Nobody says this is the asnwer for everyone. In smaller towns or more rural areas its quite common to get married start working and start a career at 18, in bigger cities more people are just entering college or still putzing around working retail jobs and min wage jobs. Glad your happy and have a family but in the same token I know others who did the same thing as you, are divorced at 30 or 35 and acting like kids out at the bars trying to take back those missed years of their youth drinking and partying and hooking up at 35 and 40 years old because they never got it out of their system at 18 or 21.

When I was 18 I married a women who was 23 .
She had 2 children, a boy 7 who was in the second grade,
and a girl 5 in kindergarten, and one year later whe had a boy of our own.




I did not want a college degree,
and it does not take $100,000 plus a year to afford 2-3 children even today.

I don't think there's necessarily a correlation between income and college. I mean sure on paper they say college grads make this much more but I think oftentimes its just as good to go into trades or start your own business there are other routes than colleg and college isn't for everyone.

As for not needing 100k to raise 2-3 kids very true, heck i know people I've worked with who have families of 5 or more working min wage restaurant jbos, granted 2 or 3 jobs but still doing it. That said I think to comfortably raise a family of 5 you'd want to have 100k if you want to have insurance, food, clothes, have the kids involved in sports or activites, help the kids with college, etc. THis again varies by where your at. In New York 100k and a family of 5 your struggling to get by, in upstate new york in a more rural area your rich.

.
This really depends on location, local economy, what each person wants out of life, etc
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2014, 08:25 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY 🇺🇸
36,754 posts, read 14,828,087 times
Reputation: 35584
When people of any age have children they can't afford, it's irresponsible. And, BTW, the surest route to piverty is taken by unwed mothers. "Single moms" expect applause today, but having kids one cannot afford, with Uncle Sam as the baby daddy has disastrous implications for those families and the rest of society picking up the slack.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2014, 07:07 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,540,621 times
Reputation: 14692
I think teen pregnancy is more often an excuse than anything else. Expectations get lowered for teen mothers and accomplishments get celebrated. Graduating from college is normal. Graduating from college with a baby is a major accomplishment and if you don't graduate you're forgiven because your road is seen as too hard.

My dd (19) is due any day now and talking to her about getting back in school is nearly impossible. It's one excuse after another. She couldn't go to school last term because she might go into labor early and mess up finals. Obviously, she can't go next term because she's due early January. I wonder what her excuse will be in May when the spring/summer terms start?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2014, 07:15 AM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,157,635 times
Reputation: 46685
Quote:
Originally Posted by tht1guy View Post
Im graduated now (high School) and looking on Facebook im seeing alot of people having kids left and right. Personally i think its irresponsible because we need to enjoy our youth and shouldnt be focused on being an dult so quickly. Because 9 times out of 10 we dont have a college degree and or a job making $100,000 plus a year to afford having 2-3 kids.
It is idiotic. Everybody knows what causes pregnancy and how to prevent it.

Let me put it to you this way. The first five years after you leave school are the most crucial of your life. You will change in a host of ways. You will gain the necessary skills to earn a living for the rest of your days. You will learn how to live on your own. You will begin to understand who you are as a person. All that comes to a screeching halt the minute you decide to have a kid.

People who think it's a great idea have no idea how demanding it is to have a child at such a young idea, nor do they understand the impact on your future economic life.

To be sure, there are those who had children very young in life and managed to succeed. But it is a much harder path, making the odds of success much smaller.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2014, 12:10 PM
 
66 posts, read 49,483 times
Reputation: 79
7 Bosnian teens get pregnant on school trip - NY Daily News
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2014, 01:32 AM
 
Location: Centro Tejas
543 posts, read 999,780 times
Reputation: 367
Quote:
Originally Posted by tht1guy View Post
Im graduated now (high School) and looking on Facebook im seeing alot of people having kids left and right. Personally i think its irresponsible because we need to enjoy our youth and shouldnt be focused on being an adult so quickly. Because 9 times out of 10 we dont have a college degree and or a job making $100,000 plus a year to afford having 2-3 kids.
My mum had me when she was 17. She was a very responsible parent, she managed to get done with college and getting a good job, and was never neglectful. On the other hand, my aunt (father's youngest sister) waited to have all her things in order (job, house, money, partner), but she's a reckless mother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post

My dd (19) is due any day now and talking to her about getting back in school is nearly impossible. It's one excuse after another. She couldn't go to school last term because she might go into labor early and mess up finals. Obviously, she can't go next term because she's due early January. I wonder what her excuse will be in May when the spring/summer terms start?
Can she take online classes?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2014, 06:37 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
16,966 posts, read 34,718,970 times
Reputation: 7724
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post

I cant speak for all men and certainly don't presume to know when they want to become parents any more than I can for women. In my demographic it seems the majority of educated people marry and become parents in their mid to late 20's. I see more uneducated people having kids in their teens, most unmarried. I know several couples that had their first child in their late 30's and many people who have had children in their 40's.
I'm bouncing off your comment because it ties in with this: Nine facts about marriage and childbirth in the United States - The Washington Post
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2014, 06:49 AM
 
Location: Inis Fada
16,966 posts, read 34,718,970 times
Reputation: 7724
Quote:
Originally Posted by bumpus7 View Post
They are adults when they are 18.
They're adults at 18 when they enter the armed forces, yet they're considered teens when they have negative interactions with police.
Society sends a mixed message.

Quote:
I did not want a college degree,
and it does not take $100,000 plus a year to afford 2-3 children even today
.
You might live in an area with a low COL but for those of us who live in areas with a higher COL, $100,000 gross for a family of 5 is tight. There's a mortgage, 5 figure property taxes, heating oil, one of the highest electric rates in the country, auto insurance, gasoline, five mouths to feed and bodies to clothe (no high end stuff), health insurance (my premium has skyrocketed to $24,000 a year for less coverage) braces, auto repairs (no car payments) saving for retirement, saving for college, saving for a rainy day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:37 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top