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Old 03-27-2011, 11:45 AM
 
Location: here
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I also say get him evaluated. It might be a sensory issue, or something like that. As far as pedophilia, I would guess that the dad is worried about the child being overly touchy with someone who is a pedophile.
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Old 03-27-2011, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
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I think 9 year old boys are pretty clueless emotionally and socially. My son is 10, but still get a group of them together, and it's not uncommon for 3 of them to be huddled together in one chair. They are always touching, and sitting on top of each other. They are not yet inhibited, and if it's just among peers, is that so wrong? I think it's fair to talk to him about it, but if it were me I wouldn't be worried about it.

I may be way off base here, but is your DH perhaps concerned about something that he isn't vocalising to you?
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okaydorothy View Post
... He thinks nothing of giving his friends a hug, pat on the back or rear, pats their head. ... and at the end he gave his 15 year old asisstant coach a hug.
How scary to be in a society that makes an issue out of THIS!!!!
Ohhhhh..how scary....

Loosen up, people. Drop the alcohol, the drugs, the prescription meds, the uptightness, the Puritanism, the deep discomfort with your own existence on this Earth, the insanity...and live like human beings instead. People who fear doing those things are in fact the mentally ill, not the other way around!!
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
There are a lot of children like this. .
There are entire cultures exactly like this out there!
Where people hug, kiss, touch each other. And yes, those 'touches' are light years away from anything "inappropriate".
Those culture also have much, much less mental illness than this one where "physical boundaries" are so severely imposed. Also way fewer pedophiles.

What is even creepier is the number of people who replied that the child should be "evaluated".

Last edited by syracusa; 03-27-2011 at 01:36 PM..
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:17 PM
 
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Another resurrected 3 year old thread people.
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Another resurrected 3 year old thread people.
Didn't realize that, but this scary piece of nonsense should have stayed in its grave and continued to rot. It is deeply insulting towards the many, many warm, friendly, and open cultures where pretty much EVERYONE behaves like this and where people DON'T end up abusing substances later in life due to social inhibitions like the ones cultivated in this culture.

To imply that someone should be "evaluated" for "inappropriate tendencies" if they behave like this is so sick I want to throw up.

Just because a certain culture does things a certain way does not mean that cultures cannot be organized in inherently harmful ways. This is one of those ways.
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:49 PM
 
Location: here
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Another resurrected 3 year old thread people.
oops I usually look for that before I post. I don't understand why people bring these things back.
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:52 PM
 
Location: here
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Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Didn't realize that, but this scary piece of nonsense should have stayed in its grave and continued to rot. It is deeply insulting towards the many, many warm, friendly, and open cultures where pretty much EVERYONE behaves like this and where people DON'T end up abusing substances later in life due to social inhibitions like the ones cultivated in this culture.

To imply that someone should be "evaluated" for "inappropriate tendencies" if they behave like this is so sick I want to throw up.

Just because a certain culture does things a certain way does not mean that cultures cannot be organized in inherently harmful ways. This is one of those ways.
The OP obviously realized that her son is not behaving in a socially acceptable way or she wouldn't have mentioned it. Like it or not, some things are acceptable and some are not. If the boy's behavior is going to inhibit him socially, she should help him work on it. I hope she did.
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Old 03-29-2011, 06:55 AM
 
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This may be an unpopular opinion, but I too would be concerned. Both of my children around 6/7 became less touchy feely. My son will still cuddle with me (he's 8) and take hugs, but usually at home and in private. I saw the same as my older child hit about the same age. If it were my son - It would raise flags with me. I dont think pedophilia (that's absurd IMO) but I do think there needs to be conversations, it could be sensory or emotional. You have a sensitive child who needs something he isnt getting (not an indictment on you or your husband) and you have the blessing to be able to do more for him.
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Old 03-30-2011, 12:10 PM
 
Location: New York City
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I think the underlying issue is that people fear their sons will be gay. I liked Syracusa's post. We are an uptight society. Present company included.
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