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Old 01-07-2008, 10:53 AM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,342,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travel'r View Post
Thank you for the thoughtful responses!

My friend owns the house. If it weren't immediate family, she certainly would not give her two cents.
She wouldn't have anyone living with her at all if her sis was not saving for her own home -- she's just making it easier for her to save. Just my opinion, but I think the parents should respect my friend's concern.

Lindsey, GOOD ONE! (grandparent!!) That's the point :>) Jerry Springer's ratings will certainly continue to benefit from some viewpoints, that's for sure.

He's a good kid (I've never met the girl), but still only 14. Nobody's telling him not to have a GF. But why give full reign, is what we wonder?
Now that's a horse of different color . If she owns the house, then by all means she should feel free to put the kibash on the closed door. As the owner, maybe she feels the need to take the door down to stain it. Then maybe won't like the color and it needs to be done again. And maybe it catches on fire and can't be replaced for 4 years.
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Old 01-07-2008, 12:34 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,563 posts, read 42,724,437 times
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Ok, unless it is a very big house, I would find it annoying to have my kid and his friends, male or female, in my family room all the time, talking and monopolizing the TV. If the bedroom is the only place in the house where they can go, so be it. The door is absolutely to be left open all the time, for sure.
Seriously, a kid who is going to have sex can have it ANYWHERE. So it's no more likely to happen in a bedroom than in a rec room or wherever.
When I was a teen in the dark ages, my friends of both sexes and I went to my bedroom all the time because it was the only place in our house to have a little space from my parents. Nothing questionable ever happened there.
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Old 01-07-2008, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Georgia
238 posts, read 547,952 times
Reputation: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by regarese View Post
Now that's a horse of different color . If she owns the house, then by all means she should feel free to put the kibash on the closed door. As the owner, maybe she feels the need to take the door down to stain it. Then maybe won't like the color and it needs to be done again. And maybe it catches on fire and can't be replaced for 4 years.
OH MY GOD!!! I LOVE this! The idea is fabulous! For one thing, it doesn't start a power struggle between the teen and the adults. For another thing... well I love decorating, and I would think that if there's a hallway involved, and that has to be done before the door is replaced... and then once that's done, it's painfully obvious that the boy's room doesn't match and THAT needs redone...

I agree that since she owns the home, she has more of a say over what goes on under her roof. I think the sister that is allowing the son to do something that makes the other one UNCOMFORTABLE IN HER OWN HOME, isn't being as considerate as she should.

Now.... I know a really good faux painting site that will really help deciding on new colors and stains for that door....
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Old 01-07-2008, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,193,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Juicebox View Post
djacques, Do u have children?
Yes I do, why?
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Old 01-07-2008, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,193,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
With that kind of attitude, your likely to be a grandmother LONG before your ready, maybe even raising your own grandchild.
Did the "safe sex" and "responsible" part vanish from my post? I'm pretty sure I typed it.
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Old 01-07-2008, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 31,036,129 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Did the "safe sex" and "responsible" part vanish from my post? I'm pretty sure I typed it.
I think you assuming that teenagers are going to indulge in safe sex and be responsible is more then just a little optimistic. Again, the statistics of teenage pregnancy will back me up on that.
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Old 01-07-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,193,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
I think you assuming that teenagers are going to indulge in safe sex and be responsible is more then just a little optimistic. Again, the statistics of teenage pregnancy will back me up on that.
Not really. Western countries that have comprehensive sex education, like Canada, have lower teen pregnancy rates than countries that are mired in backward puritanism, like the United States.

Speaking of "assuming" things--this whole discussion "assumes" that the two teenagers want to have sex in the first place. He might be gay, for all the OP or anyone else here knows. Or even if he's not, she might not like him "that way." Not everyone wants to tear the clothes off of any specimen of the opposite sex they can find. I'm kind of surprised I have to point this out.
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Old 01-07-2008, 04:18 PM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,096,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Not really. Western countries that have comprehensive sex education, like Canada, have lower teen pregnancy rates than countries that are mired in backward puritanism, like the United States.
.
That's it! I'm shipping the kid to Canada for her!

There's a living room on main level, then family room on lower level. Kid has entire 3rd level privacy. We always had our friends over our houses, too, and hung out in our rooms playing Atari & what-not. But never total privacy one-on-one with our crushes.

OK, a little more background (I am not making this up ):

His mom picked out/up her Christmas present for him to give her. Cubic Z is simply not her (the mom's) style, so the kid gets a pretty pendant -- with REAL DIAMOND!!! The mom showed it to everybody (she hit a real good sale.)
I was, like, I asked if she remembered how old these kids were? Diamond is waaaay extreme. I would have loved to be there when the kid opened the thing; probably went "ho hum" (over-spoiled soccer suburbia kids.)

I know that's another debate altogether, but I was pretty shocked, so do understand more why the aunt is iffy with the privacy, although I was much more surprised than she was about the diamond thing

Heck, I never had a real diamond until the teeny weeny dainty ones aside the birthstone on the rings we got for sweet 16.
So no, he's not gay, and these kids, apparently, are not just buddies.

Last edited by Travel'r; 01-07-2008 at 04:35 PM..
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Old 01-08-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Indiana
270 posts, read 1,092,759 times
Reputation: 230
I want to know what Male when he was at this age did not want to ripp off the clothes of any of his crushes. and if you answer you didnt then you probably wanted to rip off the clothes of your best male friend. This is a no brainer no matter wether they are helping with rent or not if it is family IMO I would not let it happen. I would be to concered about all the things that have already been metioned.
You could call me what you wnat a dictor or a master of the house( i kind of like that one so it is fine) But i think that it is good parenting that you need to watch out for your children and not just "well if they are educated in how to put a condom who cares" the parent or the family should care!!!! that is who I have delt with teens and pre teens for a while now and they are just as curious about the body as we are.
So I guess that my 2 daughters when they get that age will be mad at daddy all the time.... wait i have an idea i will educate her on the physical, mental and heart ache and other things that come along with having sex at 12 and 13. Then educate her that the only way to 100% garuntee not to become pregnant or have an STD or get her heart broke is to NOT have sex until she gets married.

Well i could probably go on for awhile but i will finish with this: Young people at 12 and 13 and even at 18 or 19 are still fragile mentally phycally and spritually. We are to care for them and teach them right and wrong and to protect them. If we become the "Friend Parent" instead of the Parent then we loose sight of the big picture and want them to always like us. How will our children learn if they get anything and everything they want?
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Old 01-08-2008, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
875 posts, read 759,721 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travel'r View Post
Thank you for the thoughtful responses!

My friend owns the house. If it weren't immediate family, she certainly would not give her two cents.
She wouldn't have anyone living with her at all if her sis was not saving for her own home -- she's just making it easier for her to save. Just my opinion, but I think the parents should respect my friend's concern.

Lindsey, GOOD ONE! (grandparent!!) That's the point :>) Jerry Springer's ratings will certainly continue to benefit from some viewpoints, that's for sure.

He's a good kid (I've never met the girl), but still only 14. Nobody's telling him not to have a GF. But why give full reign, is what we wonder?
If your friend owns the house, and her family are just renters, I would lay down the law.

NO, it's not okay for teens to be alone in a bedroom together with the door closed. You're just asking for disaster - no matter how "good" the kids are, they still have raging hormones and as we all know, teens don't have very good common sense.

There is no reason why they can't be in another room of the house - supervised.
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