U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-06-2008, 01:26 PM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,101,833 times
Reputation: 1115

Advertisements

Hi
I know this is a no-brainer, but it's causing an uproar between my friend and her sister, so she asked me to post:

My friend shares her townhome with her sister, the husband, and son who's fourteen. The sister & hubby think it's fine if the kid's girlfriend spends time in his bedroom (in another part of the house with total privacy) laying on bed for hours watching movies or playing videos with door closed.
Friend thinks these kids should be hanging out in the family room instead, and that 14 years is just too young to grant such privacy. Friend is told it's none of her business, as she's not the parent, but it is more her house.

They are arguing like cats and dogs over this, and otherwise get along. They will not reach a compromise, as the parents are convinced that "it's fine."
I'm with my friend. I know it's too young. I couldn't imagine being allowed to hang with my crush in my room when I was that age! But she says that it's fine with the girl's mom, too!

Times they are a changin'! Are we wrong to be stuck in the "dark ages"????
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-06-2008, 01:30 PM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,348,348 times
Reputation: 848
I would agree with your friend too, but if the parents are contributing to the cost of the house, then the friend can't pull the "my house my rules" bit, and I think she does need to leave it up to the kids parents to make decision. Maybe they can come to a compromise or something-I don't know. I'm sure if the situation were reversed your friend wouldn't want her sister telling her what to do with her kid.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 02:00 PM
 
Location: makin' bacon
3,340 posts, read 2,555,242 times
Reputation: 1483
Quote:
Originally Posted by regarese View Post
I would agree with your friend too, but if the parents are contributing to the cost of the house, then the friend can't pull the "my house my rules" bit, and I think she does need to leave it up to the kids parents to make decision. Maybe they can come to a compromise or something-I don't know. I'm sure if the situation were reversed your friend wouldn't want her sister telling her what to do with her kid.
I agree. I have a 12y.o. and he will not be allowed to have a girl in his room with the door closed until he heads off to college.
That being said, it really isn't your friend's place to parent the child, but can understand why she would want to. It is a tough situation and if it has become a disruptive issue, perhaps it is time for your friend's sister to get their own place.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 02:42 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,376,862 times
Reputation: 16138
I think your friend needs to find new roomates. It is too complicated living with family under those conditions anyway.

The boy and girl are too young for this. Does this girl's parents know they are in his room for hours unsupervised and alone in his bed? I would imagine they don't know and they would not be happy about that. Both sets of parents in this case may find out about a surprise pregnancy if this keeps up.

She needs to find someone else to live with her and once she does give them 2 weeks and ask them to leave. They will be hurt and angry at first but it will likely help their relationship in the long run once they live apart for awhile.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 03:17 PM
 
26,977 posts, read 38,227,364 times
Reputation: 34930
She'll announce that she's pregnant and everyone but you will wonder how it happened.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 04:42 PM
 
3,536 posts, read 6,969,599 times
Reputation: 4544
I think she needs to tell them that if the girl ends up pregnant, they will not be moving her and the new baby into "their" home. She also needs to be concerned that if something comes up about negligence, statutory rape, or other potential ramifications, she's protected from being considered a guardian.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,716 posts, read 31,075,857 times
Reputation: 6659
I'm just curious, if they are doing nothing wrong why do they need the door closed?

I can tell you my daughter won't be having a guy in her bedroom with the door closed until its her own house.

When I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to have a guy in my bedroom even if the door was open.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 05:16 PM
 
1,261 posts, read 5,522,001 times
Reputation: 551
I agree with you and your friend, but I think it's a no win situation for her since the teen boy's parents and the teen girl's mother condone the behavior.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,208,877 times
Reputation: 4107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travel'r View Post
Times they are a changin'! Are we wrong to be stuck in the "dark ages"????
Yes. If the kids know about safe sex and are responsible, leave them be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2008, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,107 posts, read 34,402,249 times
Reputation: 4893
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
Yes. If the kids know about safe sex and are responsible, leave them be.
I hope yiou are kidding!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top