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Old 02-07-2015, 08:31 AM
 
2,401 posts, read 3,248,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atltechdude View Post
This exactly. The more taboo and forbidden it is, the greater the chances of overindulgence and binge drinking with friends as a form of rebellion.
Or adventure. That's why excessive drinking is so common in college and becomes much less common a few years after. The excitement from tasting the forbidden fruit will have faded away by then.
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Old 03-01-2015, 12:27 PM
 
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Honestly, probably around the time they are freshmen in high school. So much goes on during the high school years that eventually with or without your permission, they will have tried it in this time frame anyway. I feel like it is better for an adult to recognize that just like needing to explain safe sex to their children, they should also explain responsible drinking and talk a little bit about harm reduction, especially if you are in an area where it is likely to become a potential issue. I'm not saying that you have to be okay with your child drinking or experimenting with drugs, but when they feel like they can't have an open, serious conversation with you about something of the sort, that's a problem. I think being around for their first drink and teaching them to be as safe and responsible as possible is your best route.

Drug use is a different story, a little weed probably isn't a big deal as far as how it will affect their health, but if the laws and penalty's are harsh in your area, then it needs to be addressed accordingly. Harder drugs on the other hand, well we all know the dangers associated with such drug use. Everyone handles this differently, and there is not a how-to book on the subject that will satisfy everyone in every situation. My best advice is to handle the problem yourself, and handle it as soon as you possibly can. These kids mess around and get addicted, next thing you know, all your valuables are being stolen and sold for their fix. Law enforcement isn't even an option for this kinda thing, especially if you turn in the drugs you find in your kids possession to them. Their answer to the problem is going to be to remove the child from your care. You will only end up paying a ton of money for some foster home or group home to take your kid in and "fix" them. Beyond that, all trust that child has for you is over with, and your relationship will at the least be temporarily damaged, because they will feel betrayed and not recognize that your intentions were good. Handle it the best you can but, just don't lock your kid up for it. Keep them from their friends, or maybe make arrangements to meet with recovering addicts to explain the dangers involved with drug use. Hell maybe even set up an arrangement with the funeral parlor's owner to stage a fake overdose death, with a kids beloved family member. Only to reveal later on, that it's not true, but is absolutely possible if that person was to be involved with drug use, and explain that the feelings they felt when they thought the death was real, is what they would be putting you through by even risking such a thing.

Moral of the story, open the lines of communication. Explain what you'll tolerate and what you absolutely will not. Practice what you preach and set an example for your kids. Get creative and handle your business. You can't control every aspect of your children's lives, but if you're involved and open to compromise on certain issues, they might just respect your wishes on others. Sorry for such a long post, but I use to be an addict and I'm passionate about helping others stay away from that lifestyle. If this post is helpful great. If you need any other advice on this topic feel free to contact me and i'll do my best to help. If you don't get a reply here, go to my site, get my email and hit me up. My info is on my profile, somewhere.
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Old 03-02-2015, 02:48 PM
 
16,401 posts, read 8,482,652 times
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Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
Other than trying a sip or two, when is it appropriate to give your child his/her first drink? How about let them go to parties?

Because weed has been legalized in some states, what do you think is the right age to give him/her his first doobie? And what about coffee?


I thought this was a serious thread until you asked what age to introduce them to dope.
Just because a few states have legalized it, that does not mean a responsible parent should allow it. Many good paying jobs will not hire you without a drug test, and they do not care if pot is legal or not. Plus despite the dopers who claim pot is benign/harmless, it is a gateway drug for certain people. Furthermore, not everyone is mellow on pot as it reacts differently with different people. some people get violent, paranoid, etc. I also know many a person who has lost ambition due to becoming a pothead.

So what parent in their right mind would subject their child to dope, at any age?
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Old 03-03-2015, 11:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliss2 View Post
Yes, but I mean comparing cultures like UK and France... Don't see how they can be lumped together as Europe, because French, for example, cultural attitudes towards intoxication is very different, regardless of drinking rates. European attitudes vary vastly within.
I agree. Being drunk in public seem to be ok in the UK, whereas in my country it is seen as extremely shameful. We even have a saying, "There is no uglier woman than one who is drunk".

My dad has allowed me a sip of his beer early on, probably since I was 4 or 5. He drank very rarely (maybe a beer a month), so that wasn't an issue. Still got drunk on my own when I was 6 by accident (had too much grape juice that was well on its way of becoming wine), and then again when I was 9 (snicked into the cellar and ate all the cherries in the brandy). I also used to smoke by stealing tobacco leaves put out to dry and rolling my own cigarettes, like I saw grown ups doing.

Nowadays I smoke very rarely (could be years in between, and strictly socially), and only drink one sip of beer or an occasional glass of wine. Never smoked or got drunk in my teenage years, or my 20s.
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Old 03-03-2015, 12:47 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 5,343,717 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vector1 View Post


I thought this was a serious thread until you asked what age to introduce them to dope.
Just because a few states have legalized it, that does not mean a responsible parent should allow it. Many good paying jobs will not hire you without a drug test, and they do not care if pot is legal or not. Plus despite the dopers who claim pot is benign/harmless, it is a gateway drug for certain people. Furthermore, not everyone is mellow on pot as it reacts differently with different people. some people get violent, paranoid, etc. I also know many a person who has lost ambition due to becoming a pothead.

So what parent in their right mind would subject their child to dope, at any age?
I agree with you, and will add: if parents give their kids the message "There are some illegal things you can do," where would they draw the line? or not at all?
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Old 03-06-2015, 07:06 AM
 
21 posts, read 22,236 times
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Alcohol has ruined so many lives. Cigarettes are responsible for so many illnesses. It is really surprising me that so many people want to give this crap to their children. I don't believe you can TEACH a kid "how to drink". The way they would drink around the parent and the way they would drink around their friends is totally different. Why help them develop a taste for it? I think if they are going to drink or smoke they will, regardless of what the parents say or do.
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Old 03-06-2015, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Georgia
4,578 posts, read 5,643,202 times
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We never forbid it -- we drink a glass of wine with dinner two or three nights a week. When they were 14 or 15, they asked if they could try it. They turned their nose up at it "ewwww", and didn't bother with it. A couple of years later, they asked for another. We gave them a half glass. They sipped it politely, but really wasn't that interested. I was very clear with them on consequences for DUI's -- I would help pull their butts out of the fire for just about anything else, but do NOT call me for a DUI, because a DUI is the result of stupid choices -- and they are NOT stupid. If they got a DUI, they could sit in jail until they could post bail, and they could pay their own attorney's fees, etc., and if they lost their license, I'd sell their car. I had friends in high school killed by a drunk driver when they were on their way back from a concert -- I have ZERO tolerance for drunk driving. Kids tend to think about the effects of DUI on THEM -- but as I often reminded them, if they were dead, they wouldn't care, but if they killed someone else while being stupid, they would have to live with that crushing guilt for the rest of their lives, some of which would be in jail for vehicular manslaughter. And if they EVER found themselves in a position where they didn't feel like they should drive, call us at any time, day or night, and there would be absolutely no scolding or recriminations - in fact, they would be praised for being self-aware enough to know they were impaired.

No problems.

My 26 year old son prefers beer, now, and my 24 year old daughter likes wine, but recently realized, sensibly, that she was relying on it too much to "relax" at night and has cut back from her glass each evening to just once or twice a week socially. I'm sure there were several instances of excessive drinking in college, but at that point, alcohol wasn't the "ooooh, I'm a grown-up, I can get shtt-faced!" -- because to them, ADULTS didn't get drunk. And we always modeled safe driving -- if we went to dinner as a family, my husband and I might enjoy one drink, but if one of us wanted another one, the other switched to tea, etc., and would drive home very matter-of-factly. This is what adults do -- they take responsibility for their actions and make sure that no one else is affected by the recreational choices they make.
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