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I never wanted one but now at 40 I regret it. And I get so annoyed when people tell me I can still have them. No I can't. We both have to work full time. We don't have the money. I have to watch my weight and blood pressure. It would be irresponsible to have a child now. My friends just can't understand that. They say, don't you want to give your husband a child? (He doesn't even want one). My one friend has 3 kids from a previous abusive marriage and now met a man she loves at 46. She said she is so sad though she didn't meet him earlier so she can have a child with him. I think that is just ridiculous to be depressed over that. Or am I wrong?
I never wanted one but now at 40 I regret it. And I get so annoyed when people tell me I can still have them. No I can't. We both have to work full time. We don't have the money. I have to watch my weight and blood pressure. It would be irresponsible to have a child now. My friends just can't understand that. They say, don't you want to give your husband a child? (He doesn't even want one). My one friend has 3 kids from a previous abusive marriage and now met a man she loves at 46. She said she is so sad though she didn't meet him earlier so she can have a child with him. I think that is just ridiculous to be depressed over that. Or am I wrong?
It's YOUR life.
Next time one of these tactless friends judges you, just say, "That may work for you, but it doesn't work for me."
I never wanted one but now at 40 I regret it. And I get so annoyed when people tell me I can still have them. No I can't. We both have to work full time. We don't have the money. I have to watch my weight and blood pressure. It would be irresponsible to have a child now. My friends just can't understand that. They say, don't you want to give your husband a child? (He doesn't even want one). My one friend has 3 kids from a previous abusive marriage and now met a man she loves at 46. She said she is so sad though she didn't meet him earlier so she can have a child with him. I think that is just ridiculous to be depressed over that. Or am I wrong?
No, your not wrong though I don't get people who view having a kid as the one of the greatest things a person can do.
You don't sound very happy. That's what I'm picking up from your post. There is nothing shameful about not having kids. But I'm wondering if your regret over not having children may be because you feel that is the missing link in your life that is making you unhappy. But it might not be that - that's my opinion. I just find it strange that at 40 you're suddenly wishing you had a child after a lifetime of actively not wanting a kid.
You sound like you have a lot going on - worries about weight and blood pressure and money. You have friends whom you feel are not in sync with your wishes and boundaries. There was a lot of stress and aggravation in just a short one-paragraph post on another topic.
I think you need to treat yourself very well and perhaps see a therapist for a few sessions to maybe sort out what's at the root of your unhappiness and changes you can make in your life to remedy that.
Is it just me or does the Parenting forum keep getting more and more people coming here either talking about the benefits of being childless or seeking validation of their decision to be child free?
Of course its not shameful not to have kids, is this question even serious?
Of course it's not shameful to not have kids. But if you regret it, then I would not dismiss it so easily. Many people who work full time have kids, as do women who are 40 and over, who need to watch their weight and blood pressure. I'm not trying to insist you have a kid but none of those sound like insurmountable reasons if you truly regret not being a mom and really want to have a child. Can't really tell from one brief paragraph what your real feelings are here.
Not having a kid is a personal decision between you and your husband...no one else. It is not shameful. If you want you might look into your local Big Brother/Big Sister program you may have time to be a mentor to a child.
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