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My son is going to turn 3 on this feb 12th. As a home maker i never left him alone or send him to preschool or daycare. So now we planned to send him to preschool just to build his socializing skills...so i became strong and tried one trail class but he cried alot.. i couldnt see him from that day he didn't leave me for a minute.. he gets scared to enter into closed rooms....wherever we go he feels like school and not even entering...so i am in real dilemma whether to send him to school or wait till he is ready.... please share your experiences...
If you continue to stay with him at all times, how will he ever learn to be independent?
You asked for people to share experiences. So here is what I did .... All 3 of my boys attended our church's Mother's Day Out program for 1 day a week from 9 - 2 as 1-year-olds.
From age 2-4, they went 2 days a week. At age 5 they attended 4 days a week. Then kindergarten.
You should find a place where he can go for a few hours a day, and trust the teachers. Most kids will cry when you leave, but 99% of the time they stop 10 seconds after you walk away. I have seen this myself through a window our preschool had that allowed you to view your children without their seeing you.
The thing is ... your son will benefit from having new friends, new toys to play with, a new environment, and he will learn.
Agree with Wmns4life. It is not ideal for him to have no experience with other caregivers. It's not ideal for you to never get a break from him. I also sent my kids from age 2 for 3 days a week (half days). Neither one of my kids had separation anxiety, but as PP points out, it is very common and teachers/daycare workers know how to deal with it. 99% of the time, the child is fine within a few minutes of the parent leaving. A lot of his reaction is mirroring yours. If you are acting upset, so will he.
You can transition him (and yourself) into it slowly. Perhaps find a Mother's Day Out for just once a week. Then, within a few months try and move to 2 or 3 days a week. Anything more than that probably isn't absolutely necessary until kindergarten, but I was doing full days for both my kids by their 4th birthday.
Going to MDOs and preschool does teach kids things. It teaches them to be patient, wait their turns, stand in lines etc, all skills they will need entering K. Most Kinder teachers can quickly tell what kids did preschool versus kids who did not and will agree the former is very helpful.
There have been other threads about kids who were never (or seldom) left with another caregiver who all of a sudden had to go to day care b/c mom was in a situation where she had to go back to work, and the child has adjusted. The teachers are familiar with kids having separation anxiety. I agree that Mom's Time Out, mother's groups that have child care and the like may be a good starting point.
I went where you walk to day. Many people give many advices some are not even mothers or did not hold a child for a second but they are good at giving advices.
My daughter stayed with me all the time. I started like this. I left my daughter for few hours in day care with few kids. At the beginning she cried but I kept the good bye for few seconds. Believe me your son will get use to it. At the first as only child my daughter was bit nervous too. But after few weeks she was completely fine. There were many people who were pushing me to send her to there and here since the day my child was born. But OP you are the mother and you can feel when your child is ready. I started at that point. Don't stress your self too much and don't push hard either. Don't let him to get the feeling that mommy does not want me. That is the biggest mistakes lot of people make with pushing a child when they are not ready.
It sounds like he is not ready for school right now, and that's okay. I'd take the next year and start encouraging short separations from you. If you go to church, take him to Sunday school. An hour once a week is a good place to start. Do you have a friend he could have a playdate with once a week? You could trade favors with that Mom. You could try going to the gym and leaving him in the childcare room for small amounts of time, increasing the time as his comfort increases. I'd do these things for the next year and gradually get him used to the idea that you can leave for an hour or so, but you ALWAYS come back. That is a great lesson for kids to learn but there is no set age when this happens.
Preschool is for 3 and 4 year olds so it is not at all unusual to have not let him anywhere before now. They gym suggestion is a good one. My son loves going there and we did start that before preschool. When you do decide it's time it is not uncommon for some kids to be upset at first but the teachers will know how to help him adjust. Some kids are more prone to separation anxiety and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being home with you. We didn't have any other caretakers either and my son never had a problem when I left him.
It is ok to stay home with your kid until they are in Kindergarten...............How do I know this...............take a look around at anyone who is above the age of 45....we never had preschool......never even heard of it.
Somehow we have been told myths that preschool is going to help with learning and socialization. It is pure hogwash. The studies are in and sorry to say, head start and all the other little government goodies are not helping.
Do what your grandmothers did, stay home with them. Look at your own childhood, did you enjoy being home with mom or farmed out.
It is ok to stay home with your kid until they are in Kindergarten...............How do I know this...............take a look around at anyone who is above the age of 45....we never had preschool......never even heard of it.
Somehow we have been told myths that preschool is going to help with learning and socialization. It is pure hogwash. The studies are in and sorry to say, head start and all the other little government goodies are not helping.
Do what your grandmothers did, stay home with them. Look at your own childhood, did you enjoy being home with mom or farmed out.
Yeah, yeah, and we rode around in cars without seat belts, too. Want to go back to those days, Tina??
Come on. Your generalizations torpedo your argument, and some of them are just wrong. She asked for people's experiences, of which you apparently have none, not their opinions.
Preschool socialization benefits are not a myth, especially if the child is only there a couple of hours a day.
No one is telling her to drop the kid off at day care for 12 hours a day. You won't convince anyone by calling it "farming out." Don't send your kids to preschool, fine. But stop making up stuff.
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from that day he didn't leave me for a minute.. he gets scared to enter into closed rooms....wherever we go he feels like school and not even entering...so i am in real dilemma whether to send him to school or wait till he is ready.... please share your experiences...
