U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-09-2008, 02:53 PM
 
12,408 posts, read 13,084,552 times
Reputation: 8886

Advertisements

you have absolutely no control over other people's behavior or responses or reactions. However it is a pretty normal given in our society that kids don't run around with no clothes on. You may disagree on the OK-ness of it, I know in Europe according to my grandmother, kids of both genders went buck naked until the age of 7 and everyone is used to it and thinks nothing of it. However this is USA suburbia middle class America and our society pretty much is in agreement that public nudity is not OK. And in my own home it is one thing for us to do what we want, but out in the community with other people around, whether we agree with them or not, we are subject to the censure of the community we live in. Nudity doesn't go over well and you are finding that out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-09-2008, 02:55 PM
 
12,408 posts, read 13,084,552 times
Reputation: 8886
Quote:
Originally Posted by new2sa View Post
But, the OTHER children and their reactions aren't the problem... your son and his actions are. Until this is acknowledged, the REAL problem won't be addressed appropriately. All you can do is control your own child... not the reaction or behavior of these other children. The other children are just reacting normally to what is an inappropriate display of nudity... which embarrasses them at their age, especially in a mixed group.
i have to agree with this post, very well put, the sooner / earlier age a kid gets this, just like any other "societal" norm, the smoother things run
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Utah
1,455 posts, read 3,494,263 times
Reputation: 1523
Quote:
But, the OTHER children and their reactions aren't the problem... your son and his actions are.
No~ the toddler is behaving completely age-appropriate. The other children are being disrespectful. It is someone else's house, someone else's standards and someone else's body; they are guests and should respect that. It isn't much different than pointing at what someone else is eating and announcing "eeeeewwww!".

My kids were often nude as little ones. Especially when we lived in Fl. Where I am now, people are more "modest" and don't like nude toddlers .

The poster doesn't want her little child developing an inappropriate sense of shame due to someone else's discomfort.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 03:06 PM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,449,698 times
Reputation: 3061
Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja View Post
you have absolutely no control over other people's behavior or responses or reactions. However it is a pretty normal given in our society that kids don't run around with no clothes on. You may disagree on the OK-ness of it, I know in Europe according to my grandmother, kids of both genders went buck naked until the age of 7 and everyone is used to it and thinks nothing of it. However this is USA suburbia middle class America and our society pretty much is in agreement that public nudity is not OK. And in my own home it is one thing for us to do what we want, but out in the community with other people around, whether we agree with them or not, we are subject to the censure of the community we live in. Nudity doesn't go over well and you are finding that out.
Well I have to respectfully disagree about young children being nude. Have you been to the beach lately? I can't keep count of how many young kids 2and under were frolicking in the ocean with no clothes on.

It is not like all of my children are naked, it was a toddler without his diaper for two seconds while he is running to the toilet in my own home. He was not streaking down the street and this does not happen in front of people on a regular basis.

Do I approve of public nudity, no. Do I walk around my house naked in front of others or allow my older children to, no. Am I trying to teach my son not to strip in the middle of the living room, YES!

Again I was trying to find info on how to deal interpersonally with the children's response to this. What to say etc. Not debate the merits of public nudity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 03:08 PM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,449,698 times
Reputation: 3061
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagranola View Post
No~ the toddler is behaving completely age-appropriate. The other children are being disrespectful. It is someone else's house, someone else's standards and someone else's body; they are guests and should respect that. It isn't much different than pointing at what someone else is eating and announcing "eeeeewwww!".

My kids were often nude as little ones. Especially when we lived in Fl. Where I am now, people are more "modest" and don't like nude toddlers .

The poster doesn't want her little child developing an inappropriate sense of shame due to someone else's discomfort.
Thanks finally someone who gets what I was trying to say. Would you quietly ask them to not fuss. Or would you take it to their parents, or should I hang a sign on the front door announcing we are potty training, beware of naked butts? LOL Last one was a joke.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 03:25 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,242,086 times
Reputation: 5787
Quote:
Originally Posted by movingtohouston View Post
Thanks finally someone who gets what I was trying to say. Would you quietly ask them to not fuss. Or would you take it to their parents, or should I hang a sign on the front door announcing we are potty training, beware of naked butts? LOL Last one was a joke.
LOL!!! It can be so frustrating to potty train a little one and then to have these older kids be so "freaked out" over a toddler stripping his clothes off to run "go potty" is out of line and does not help w/ the "problem". I would say that your son is NOT the problem. As I said earlier since these kids do seem to have a problem w/ it I would make sure to talk to their parents to let them know EXACTLY what is going on. Two year olds have a totally different train of thought when it comes to "nudity" as they don't "get it" at that age. Right now they are in an age of innocence and all too soon will be cast out to the big bad world and all of its problems. The two year old does not see that him taking off all of his clothes to go potty while in route is a problem nor does he see it in any way sexual. Now I would be uncomfortable w/ the 7 year old girl doing cartwheels in front of everyone butt naked But a "in the midst of potty training" 2 year old having to take his clothes off as he is off running to the potty, no.

At this age and even on up a few years the kids don't realize they need to go until the last second. They want to please mommy and daddy by "going potty" and not in their "big boy pants" so they have to rush off in a hurry from the midst of playing w/ their friends. Along the way they could be shedding their clothes in order to help speed the process up. It just happens and does so naturally - as before I said I'd be willing to bet these older kids did the same thing a time or two themselves. Their bladders are not as well trained as ours and they dismiss the feeling of needing to go until the last second.

To the mom of this toddler: does he do this in public? Say when your out shopping or can he wait till he gets into the bathroom to disrobe? If he has not yet tried it long enough out in the REAL public (not in your PRIVATE HOME) then I would to see how it goes. If he can realize that out in public he just can't start taking his clothes off in the middle of the store or mall on his way to the bathroom then I would use that as a reference for him to understand how he could do the same at home. Since these other boys are neighbors and probably have been in your home so many times in his entire life they are just like family to him and not a "stranger" so there is no distinction there. It is hard to "rationalize" these types of things w/ a two or three year old. All they know is they need to go potty NOW and they have to take their clothes off to do so. They have a one track mind and when that big of an urge hits that is the only track their mind is on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 03:32 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,626,844 times
Reputation: 1270
Your toddler sounds like every other toddler I have known, my kids included. LIke other posters have said, they wait until the last possible second for it to click that they need to get to the potty. As for the neighbor kids, they probably haven't been around little ones. If they are close in age and its been awhile since anyone in their house was potty trained, they probably are not used to seeing a toddler running around naked.

This is a good opportunity to work with your toddler about keeping on his clothing. Maybe a treat if he can wait until he hits the bathroom to strip down naked. Both my kids seemed to think they had to totally disrobe in order to use the bathroom, and that included public places. It took some coaxing and treats to get them not to throw off their clothes, lol. Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 03:46 PM
 
Location: friendswood texas
2,489 posts, read 6,449,698 times
Reputation: 3061
No he doesn't do this in public, only in our home. Usually we put him in pull-ups when we are away from. I am going to stop this now though so we keep from back-sliding. Thanks for the responses.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,191,291 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagranola View Post
No~ the toddler is behaving completely age-appropriate. The other children are being disrespectful. It is someone else's house, someone else's standards and someone else's body; they are guests and should respect that. It isn't much different than pointing at what someone else is eating and announcing "eeeeewwww!".
Exactly! The toddler is acting normal and not in any way inappropriately. The other kids may be acting "normal", too, relative to the norms in their household, but that doesn't mean the OP should cater to them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,715 posts, read 11,191,291 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by movingtohouston View Post
Would you quietly ask them to not fuss. Or would you take it to their parents, or should I hang a sign on the front door announcing we are potty training, beware of naked butts? LOL Last one was a joke.
I would invite them to look away or to leave the room if the sight of a nude toddler offends them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top