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Old 04-16-2015, 04:00 PM
 
13,066 posts, read 20,386,036 times
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I agree with Marlow, you should start a new thread in this case.

Reach out to your son's pastor for some support. There is no reason for religion to usurp his entire life. It's being used as an excuse to avoid responsibility, in this case that would be work.

I don't agree with your husband's decision to throw him out, nor your unwillingness to speak up and stop it.
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Old 04-16-2015, 06:12 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,012,781 times
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What sort of 'church' is this.....because if your son is getting involved in a cult...there could be very good reasons for not supporting him in it.
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Old 01-15-2018, 12:12 AM
 
1 posts, read 487 times
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We have a 15 year old who hooked up with a18 year old who lied about her situation and mommy let her move in with us she won't work keeping him up half the night then she sleeps all day he has went to barely getting by in school from the honor roll lost his good friends and quit all his sports mom is afraid to take action,he doesn't handle anything well he's been raised in a bubble what to do ? Wait let him do it he's stubborn as hell
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Old 01-15-2018, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,301 posts, read 7,510,491 times
Reputation: 15314
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessie402 View Post
We have a 15 year old who hooked up with a18 year old who lied about her situation and mommy let her move in with us she won't work keeping him up half the night then she sleeps all day he has went to barely getting by in school from the honor roll lost his good friends and quit all his sports mom is afraid to take action,he doesn't handle anything well he's been raised in a bubble what to do ? Wait let him do it he's stubborn as hell
Kick out the 18 year old--not that hard. Change the locks. Then do everything possible to make it very, very difficult for the 15 year old to see or communicate with the 18 year old. Take away or restrict his devices, including his phone. Drop him off/pick him up from school. Restrict his social activities for awhile UNLESS it's visiting a friend's house and you now the parents.

If "Mom" is afraid to take action, then you do it with or without her support. Someone has to be the adult and it's not the 15 yo, 18 yo or mom here. It might be inconvenient but imagine the future. Read some of the threads here about "adult" children living off their parents. Show them to your wife if necessary and ask if that is what she wants for your 15 year old.
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Old 01-16-2018, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,955 posts, read 6,862,048 times
Reputation: 19572
I noticed the age of this thread, so I didn't read all of the responses. But I have an 18 year old son who is unmotivated to do what he needs to do, and we're struggling to get him nudged toward the edge of the nest. Got a great suggestion from a friend (at least it's worked out splendidly for her son) and sometime around the end of this month, we are sending him to Job Corps. Free vocational training, and they'll make him follow rules and hold him to standards better than I seem able to do at this point. He wanted to become a welder anyways, and they've got programs for this. Also, he does not yet have his driver's license, and they'll help him with that.

So I don't know if others suggested Job Corps, but it seems worth looking into for anyone struggling to get a young adult child "launched."
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Old 01-18-2018, 03:15 PM
 
11,852 posts, read 18,023,136 times
Reputation: 18027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I noticed the age of this thread...
LOL...I am amazing of what gets necroposted...brought back from the dead.

Now the 18 year old would be in his late 20's. Would be interesting for the OP to come back after all the drama from a decade ago and give us an update.
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Old 01-24-2018, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
25,930 posts, read 61,598,844 times
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I am pretty sure in most communities the trash pick up will only accept 18 year olds on one day of the year.
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Old 01-24-2018, 03:36 PM
 
5,510 posts, read 3,079,105 times
Reputation: 4920
Be careful...

https://www.yahoo.com/news/21-year-o...767331362.html

Luckily was overturned on appeal but still...
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Old Yesterday, 01:58 PM
 
5,963 posts, read 12,956,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
... Got a great suggestion from a friend (at least it's worked out splendidly for her son) and sometime around the end of this month, we are sending him to Job Corps. ...
One of our sons participated in a Job Corps program for a few months and had a really good experience. He wasn't a troubled kid or anything, but we were looking for ways to keep him busy one summer. He wasn't driving yet and at that time he didn't have a job (had just become old enough to work but didn't have a job yet) and he was seeming sort of restless and was sometimes giving us that teenager attitude that was making him not pleasant to be around all the time. I didn't want him hanging around the house all summer or spending his summer aimlessly, so we enrolled him in the program. At first he was not wanting to do it and griped about it, but once the program began he had a really good experience and made some friends. They paid a stipend for the program he did, so it was also his first experience earning money for hard work. It was very beneficial for him. They also required that the kids wore uniforms (work boots, button-down work shirts, gloves, hard hats) and he grumbled about that at first, too, but eventually really liked it. They took them out and wore them out with hard work every day, then brought them back home. We would feed him dinner and he'd go straight to bed, exhausted. Then he would get up early and do the same the next day. It was great! He seemed more mature and ready for the working world when the program was over and after school started that fall he got his first "real" job.
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Old Yesterday, 08:13 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,122 posts, read 1,519,742 times
Reputation: 9244
Advice: Write a list of things that would work for you - a contract. Present it to him. If he does not accept it, give him three month's advance warning to vacate your premises. That will give him time to gather resources, and will give you time to let go.
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