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Old 02-11-2015, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
37,102 posts, read 41,261,487 times
Reputation: 45136

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
It isn't an easy issue. I have one very thin child and one very chubby child (not near the point in these stories, but enough to worry me). I feed them the same, one just loves to eat...and eat...and eat. He gained even more after being put on a much needed medication that can cause weight gain. My other...is a twig and pretty much will only eat carbs off her plate but hates the feeling of being too full so she rarely over eats.

It is very frustrating trying to manage it without shaming and over restricting. I am not under-educated on nutrition (I'd say I am pretty up to date). Besides one cup of chocolate almond milk (per docs request) its water all day. Very limited fast food. It feels like a growing monster. The more he gains, the more food he wants, the less he moves.

We saw a slew of doctors. When he was 6 the endocrinologist said he was only eating 200 calories over what he needed. 200 calories? Should be easy to get rid of? Right? Not when food is everywhere...school, parties, left overs he sneaks off his sisters plate.

Its just not easy. I would love and invite more professional help. All his doctor does is run extra blood tests once a year and shows him the food pyramid.
Some areas do have weight control programs for kids. You might check with your local hospital. If there is a children's hospital, I would try there.

If he is not moving as much as he should, more exercise should not be optional. Have the doctor write it on a prescription blank and put the blank on the fridge where he can see it. Then take away the electronics, turn off the TV, and do something together, even if it is just riding bikes or walking every day. Does he participate in any sports at all? Is there any time for exercise at school? Is there a coach who would work with him even if he is not on an organized team?

Take him to the grocery store and let him choose from healthy options as you shop the periphery of the store. Get him to take charge of how much he eats. Do not bring junk food into the house. That means your skinny kid does not get to eat it, but she really should not be either. Have her remove her plate and throw away what she did not eat before your son can get to it. Plan snacks for the afternoon.

How old is he now? How does he feel about his weight? Has he discovered girls yet?

Rest assured that you are not the parent who is going to come to the attention of CPS, because you are trying.
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Old 02-11-2015, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,149,937 times
Reputation: 51118
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
It isn't an easy issue. I have one very thin child and one very chubby child (not near the point in these stories, but enough to worry me). I feed them the same, one just loves to eat...and eat...and eat. He gained even more after being put on a much needed medication that can cause weight gain. My other...is a twig and pretty much will only eat carbs off her plate but hates the feeling of being too full so she rarely over eats.

It is very frustrating trying to manage it without shaming and over restricting. I am not under-educated on nutrition (I'd say I am pretty up to date). Besides one cup of chocolate almond milk (per docs request) its water all day. Very limited fast food. It feels like a growing monster. The more he gains, the more food he wants, the less he moves.

We saw a slew of doctors. When he was 6 the endocrinologist said he was only eating 200 calories over what he needed. 200 calories? Should be easy to get rid of? Right? Not when food is everywhere...school, parties, left overs he sneaks off his sisters plate.,

Its just not easy. I would love and invite more professional help. All his doctor does is run extra blood tests once a year and shows him the food pyramid.
My son was chubby as a child and a teen and the best that we could do was do active things as a family and get him involved in sports. Primarily we ran together but other families may take long walks together and or bike together or play touch foot ball together. Of course, we also did not keep "junk food" around the house.

Our son slimmed down in college once he needed to walk a few miles to class every day, and walk or bike miles to various jobs (as well as make all of his own meals) He was also active in sports and active leisure activities in college.

Also, about age 18, he discovered, completely by accident, that he had a very limited sense of smell (almost completely non-existent) and limited sense of taste. The types of meals that I sometimes served, such as casseroles or spaghetti & meat sauce or hearty soups were terrible for someone with that problem. He would eat and eat and not be satisfied.

He discovered that keeping every food separate, a piece of chicken, a serving of peas, a serving of carrots, a serving of rice would satisfy him much, much quicker (as he can taste each flavor & texture separately) than if everything was together in a hearty vegetable chicken rice soup. Now, as an adult he still eats like that, and exercises a lot, and is quite slender.

Good luck to you and your family.
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
4,272 posts, read 6,297,425 times
Reputation: 7144
The problem is that being "healthy" is not just about numbers on the scale.

I'm overweight, but my numbers (blood pressure, glucose, cholesterol, tris, etc.) are all well in the "normal" range. In fact, when I had surgery last year they took all my numbers and upon receiving the results, one of the nurses remarked, "I've never seen anyone with so many EXACTLY NORMAL numbers before. That's amazing!" As such, I don't worry about my weight that much at all, and my doctor doesn't either. And yet my husband, who is not overweight and goes to the gym 7 days a week, has TERRIBLE numbers and is on a couple meds to manage them.

As for children, my own are both twigs right now. However, my side of the family is generally overweight, so there's a chance as they get older they'll put on weight. But right now, at ages 10 and 11, they are both in a healthy weight range for their ages. I'm more concerned about their numbers though - because you can be skinny and still be incredibly unhealthy. I plan on having bloodwork done on them once they are a little older, so they can be made aware of possible adjustments they need to make as they head into full-on puberty.

I'm leary of people claiming overweight kids are unhealthy - because without knowing their numbers, you just don't know if they are truly unhealthy or not (that one kid being hospitalized twice notwithstanding - clearly he was not healthy).
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
24,202 posts, read 19,206,363 times
Reputation: 38267
I don't agree with removing the child and arresting the parents, but there is still a VERY serious problem here. This isn't a pudgy kid, this is a 210 lb eleven year old with a BMI just under 40, which is the cut off point for severe or morbid obesity.

And the parents are in denial - in one of the links, the father is quoted as saying that his son's favorite snack is steamed broccoli. That is bull. An 11 year old doesn't get to be 200+ pounds eating steamed broccoli. So that's pretty concerning in terms of feeling like the parents understand the severity of the situation and are well equipped to try to improve things.
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:34 AM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,884,716 times
Reputation: 24135
He actually gets 90 minutes of outdoor active play a day, plus one day of soccer (45 minutes). He does run and play almost all the time he is outside, unless its really hot. We get home at dinner time and once in a while he goes out to play more but usually its dark this time of year.

There is something not fully adding up and I am not sure what it is. But I am doing my best.
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:42 AM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,884,716 times
Reputation: 24135
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010 View Post
Some areas do have weight control programs for kids. You might check with your local hospital. If there is a children's hospital, I would try there.

If he is not moving as much as he should, more exercise should not be optional. Have the doctor write it on a prescription blank and put the blank on the fridge where he can see it. Then take away the electronics, turn off the TV, and do something together, even if it is just riding bikes or walking every day. Does he participate in any sports at all? Is there any time for exercise at school? Is there a coach who would work with him even if he is not on an organized team?

Take him to the grocery store and let him choose from healthy options as you shop the periphery of the store. Get him to take charge of how much he eats. Do not bring junk food into the house. That means your skinny kid does not get to eat it, but she really should not be either. Have her remove her plate and throw away what she did not eat before your son can get to it. Plan snacks for the afternoon.

How old is he now? How does he feel about his weight? Has he discovered girls yet?

Rest assured that you are not the parent who is going to come to the attention of CPS, because you are trying.
No we are far off from CPS He is 9, and i think his weight bothers him but it seems to be playing into it and making a joke about it. He hasn't seem to have had a problem with the ladies yet He is really extroverted and some girl always has a crush on him. I dont think that will last, honestly. Chubby boys struggle in that area likely beginning 5th grade.

He gets 90 minutes a day outdoor play at school where he is usually being pretty active. He isn't coordinated like some of the other kids so he gets discouraged from sports. But he is doing soccer once a week.

He knows how to read nutrition labels, but we argue about serving size...alot. He wont touch almost any veggie (which sucks because he ate a ton until he was 5). He tells me he is always hungry...

I think I need to get him tested for insulin resistance and then maybe work with a nutritionist. He will listen to other people besides me. *sigh*
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:47 AM
 
2,193 posts, read 2,688,552 times
Reputation: 2601
Quote:
Originally Posted by NT Fellowship View Post
Here are some things to consider:
1. Whose right is it to raise their children--those who gave them life (or adopted them)? Obviously there are extreme cases, such as brutality against a child (sexually or violently) that should have intervention. More than that? If you break up a family because they aren't skinny enough, it is much more damaging to the child emotionally and mentally than being overweight.
2. If you give the State opportunity to step in, where does it stop? Not many years ago it would be unconscionable to rip a child from his home just because his weight and circumstances were less than 'ideal.'
3. Whose 'ideal' weight? This 'normal' has changed over the years. Does anyone remember Karen Carpenter and others like her? Anorexia and bulimia are the results of pressuring young people (in particular) to have to tow the line in appearances that are not necessarily 'natural' to their body weight, background and structure. Judy Garland had a lifelong battle with her weight...let's see, if I remember right, she became addicted to drugs she was put on to control her weight! Oprah Winfrey isn't naturally svelte. She's had to go on 101 diets and programs to get thin again...and again...and again. Doctors testify that the continual up and down of weight is just as harmful to a person as remaining 'large.'
4. Does this unnatural weight requirement take into account the ethnic background of the family and child? Some groups have heavier builds--period. It is not that they do not 'eat right' [again--this definition has changed in the last 25 years]. It is the genetic background. Compare French people vs. people in Ukraine. The French tend to be small and slim built (overall). The Ukrainian people are somewhat stocky looking. Someone might think Ukrainians are fat; but no, that is their build. Latino people (consider the little girl in Puerto Rico, who was told by school officials that she is obese) tend to be short and stocky. One tribe of Dutch are tall and large; while another tribe of Dutch are small and almost diminutive. (Same can be said for Germans.)
5. Related to #4: Does this State-held rule consider that there are genetically transferred irregularities in people's weight gain/retention? Many Ashkenazi Jews have a disease that holds on to lipids, and their bodies do not properly regulate them. There are other people with diseases that prevent weight loss and cause weight gain.
6. How does the child grow? Our children went through "large" stages, where they put on significant weight. Then their bodies exploded with growth and they shot up several inches, almost overnight! When the growth spurt was over, they were skinny. Perhaps that "obese" 11 year old boy was preparing to do just that. Had we been raising our children at this point in time (they are all grown now), perhaps the State would have stepped into our lives too. <Shudder>
7. Let's see...how many 'fat' and 'obese' people in history have made significant contributions in their fields? Winston Churchill, Pavarotti, Mahalia Jackson, Martin Luther, Catherine the Great, Ben Franklin, Babe Ruth, William Taft, Theodore Roosevelt, Emeril Lagasse, the Pope (double chin, pot belly), Dali Lama (the same), Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud (head of Saudi Arabia)...the list really is endless.
This is not to say 'being overweight is great!' but that people are made differently. Some things can be controlled within the person's habits. Some cannot. It is because of the Communist bent of the world that says everyone should be just as the State says, or you are wrong, bad, and to be changed or else...eliminated.
This is an absurd post. You're splitting hairs about what's "normal" when, clearly, we as a society give a lot of leeway when it comes to acceptable weight. However, if a parent has managed to turn a prepubescent child into a 200 lb+ walking health problem then obviously that's unacceptable. The amount a child would have to overeat to reach that point is truly astounding and not something that happens by accident or over the course of a few months. That isn't a "large stage" the kids are temporarily passing through; that's years of being a terrible parent and either actively or passively causing extreme harm to your child's health. As everyone else has said, removing the child from the parents shouldn't be the first option, but if the parents continue being completely oblivious or neglectful to the health and well-being of their child then of course at some point that child needs to be taken away from said parent. Your belief that these parents have the right to kill or severely harm their child just because they "gave them life" is mind-boggling in the worst possible way.

Pointing out that fat people have contributed to society is an absolutely inane argument that has nothing to do with anything. Bringing up Communism (no, seriously, wtf??) is even more intellectually embarrassing - congrats.

Last edited by bufflove; 02-11-2015 at 12:45 PM..
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Old 02-11-2015, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
37,102 posts, read 41,261,487 times
Reputation: 45136
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
No we are far off from CPS He is 9, and i think his weight bothers him but it seems to be playing into it and making a joke about it. He hasn't seem to have had a problem with the ladies yet He is really extroverted and some girl always has a crush on him. I dont think that will last, honestly. Chubby boys struggle in that area likely beginning 5th grade.

He gets 90 minutes a day outdoor play at school where he is usually being pretty active. He isn't coordinated like some of the other kids so he gets discouraged from sports. But he is doing soccer once a week.

He knows how to read nutrition labels, but we argue about serving size...alot. He wont touch almost any veggie (which sucks because he ate a ton until he was 5). He tells me he is always hungry...

I think I need to get him tested for insulin resistance and then maybe work with a nutritionist. He will listen to other people besides me. *sigh*
I hear you about listening to anyone but Mom! My younger son was never overweight but just did not want to eat veggies. His idea of a green salad was iceberg lettuce. He took a nutrition course in college (because he thought it would be easy - not!) and improved his diet a lot.

Make the appointment with the nutritionist, then let him sit down with her! Leave the room. You can talk with her afterwards.
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Old 02-11-2015, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
24,202 posts, read 19,206,363 times
Reputation: 38267
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010 View Post
I hear you about listening to anyone but Mom! My younger son was never overweight but just did not want to eat veggies. His idea of a green salad was iceberg lettuce. He took a nutrition course in college (because he thought it would be easy - not!) and improved his diet a lot.

Make the appointment with the nutritionist, then let him sit down with her! Leave the room. You can talk with her afterwards.
My son was the opposite, he's clinically underweight. But yeah, having the nutritionist or his pediatrician tell him that he needed to eat protein at every meal or whatever was apparently WAY more valid than me saying it!
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Old 02-11-2015, 01:10 PM
 
892 posts, read 1,499,892 times
Reputation: 1870
This is merely one of those many unintended consequences of so many people thinking they're entitled to stick their noses in other people's business, and expect those other people to follow their own set of beliefs, ideals, and how they should live their lives. Not to mention, FAR too frequent use of the battle cry "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Welcome to the new normal.
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