U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-09-2008, 06:01 PM
 
Location: el paso texas
2,625 posts, read 10,054,893 times
Reputation: 1848

Advertisements

quick question:to make a long story short, i have 2 kids with my ex, on new years she agreed to "give"them to me, her & my daughter had an issue, and she told my kids, tell your dad to come pick up your clothes.I did, talked to the kids and they agreed that they wanted to live with me, anyway, my ex called me later & told me, you can have them but im not going to pay you child support.After all this i moved fast, went to the child support office to see what were my options, they gave me a form, pretty extensive, i filled it out, the only thing is this form was asking for info that she had, socials etc etc..I called her up & told her i need the kids socials, she was like for what, and i was because i need them for the Child Support, she declined and told me, i'll call tomorrow & switch it up, but im only going to give you,what you were giving me, i make alot of money, and i'll be dammed if they take 500 away from my check.I told her but its for your kids, she was like i dont care, anyway today she called and told me, she was calling the cops so they could arrest me for Kidnapping, i guess she found out, how much she had to pay and backed out of the deal, the child support office already knows they been living with me since new years, can i get arrested for this?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-09-2008, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Bike to Surf!
3,080 posts, read 9,694,967 times
Reputation: 2977
Yes.

You need an attourney. Now. Before the detective calls or shows up on your doorstep. While I advocate cooperating with the police if you have nothing to hide, it is usually wisest to let a professional handle criminal complaints that can affect your family and finances long-term like this. So get an attourney, and have your legal representation speak with the police (instead of doing it yourself), if your ex gets them involved.

Remember, the cops are going to get your wife's side of the story only, and they might act on it if she lies enough. Get an attourney, even if she's just making idle threats to scare you off. Sounds like you'll need their services, regardless.

Also, if you think it will help avoid the trauma of a police visit and your possible arrest, for your kids:

You could call your ex, ask her not to traumatize the children by bringing any more of your (the bad blood between two of you) drama into their lives, ask her if she is willing to work with you at all regarding child support, and warn her that there are serious criminal consequences to filing a false police report if she continues to threaten you.

Edit:

Also, IF, (and this probably won't happen, because if she was really calling the cops, she wouldn't let you know ahead of time) but IF the police do show up on your doorstep, be prepared to deal with it.

Do NOT get upset or try to explain anything. The cops are going to do what they are going to do and it is unlikely you will be able to say anything to change their minds on the spot. Do not resist, argue, or cause any sort of upset. It will terrify your children and make the whole mess infinitely worse for them. Make sure that the kids are taken care of and can be somewhere safe, calm, familiar (if possible) and supervised, because you might need to go to the station with the police.

More than likely it's an idle threat.
Possibly you'll get a call from a police detective if your wife files a complaint of some sort.
It's unlikely, but possible, that you will be arrested if she does claim you kidnapped the children (a very serious false charge).

The only thing you need to worry about is how to protect your children: From being scared in the short term, and legally and financially in the long term. Be prepared, talk to an attourney, and settle your own anxieties so you can handle this like a strong and confident father. That is the best you can do by your children right now. Good luck.

Last edited by sponger42; 01-09-2008 at 06:29 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2008, 06:26 PM
 
Location: el paso texas
2,625 posts, read 10,054,893 times
Reputation: 1848
thanks apprecite that!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Florida
278 posts, read 818,984 times
Reputation: 170
You can go to the Family Court at your local courthouse and get advice for free. They will help you file the needed paperwork and all you'll have to pay in the filing fee. Someone told me about that years ago and it's been a lifesaver (and money saver) for me.

I DO believe you have to continue to pay child support, regardless of where the child is living, until the court order states differently. The judge may order you to pay up for the months you have missed...so be financially prepared for that. Take care of this as soon as possible to avoid it becoming a big mess.

You may also want to check this link out:
Texas child support in The Lone Star State

Last edited by ara^bess; 01-10-2008 at 09:37 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,290,122 times
Reputation: 2657
OMG - get an attorney! If your in NJ, PM me and I will give you the name of a great one. Sounds like those kids are better off with you anyway. Good luck and keep us posted.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
875 posts, read 760,811 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by LEVOW View Post
quick question:to make a long story short, i have 2 kids with my ex, on new years she agreed to "give"them to me, her & my daughter had an issue, and she told my kids, tell your dad to come pick up your clothes.I did, talked to the kids and they agreed that they wanted to live with me, anyway, my ex called me later & told me, you can have them but im not going to pay you child support.After all this i moved fast, went to the child support office to see what were my options, they gave me a form, pretty extensive, i filled it out, the only thing is this form was asking for info that she had, socials etc etc..I called her up & told her i need the kids socials, she was like for what, and i was because i need them for the Child Support, she declined and told me, i'll call tomorrow & switch it up, but im only going to give you,what you were giving me, i make alot of money, and i'll be dammed if they take 500 away from my check.I told her but its for your kids, she was like i dont care, anyway today she called and told me, she was calling the cops so they could arrest me for Kidnapping, i guess she found out, how much she had to pay and backed out of the deal, the child support office already knows they been living with me since new years, can i get arrested for this?
It's not kidnapping since she let you have them. Sounds like she's trying to intimidate you into dropping the support issues.

If you're going to have the children, you need to change the custody issue legally, and the support aspect will be addressed then. Otherwise, she can turn you in for not continuing with your support.

Hire an attorney - fast.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Texas
690 posts, read 2,355,622 times
Reputation: 451
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladysrodgers View Post
It's not kidnapping since she let you have them.
Depends on what state he's in.

I agree about an attorney - get one now.

Edit: I see you live in Texas. If I'm not mistaken, yes, it can be considered kidnapping, because her "giving" them to you wasn't done legally. Verbal agreements are not legally binding in a situation like this, and it wouldn't matter anyway, because it would turn into her word against yours. DEFINITELY hire an attorney.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,290,122 times
Reputation: 2657
Talk to an attorney and at the very least you need to go get temporary custody - like right now. Don't wait. You can probably get an emergency hearing set up for next week.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 04:10 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,269,721 times
Reputation: 5787
Just saw where a mother was ARRESTED for filing a FALSE report that her ex-boyfriend kidnapped their kids. After the police arrested the father/boyfriend and interviewed him they determined that he was being straight up w/ them and was legit and the mother was the one lying. This was in Texas too. They even spoke to the young children (2 & 6) who stated that the father was telling the truth. The mother told the police the father kidnapped them at gunpoint. She is now behind bars and he has the kids. Oh, this happened this week and just made the news today here in Texas. Because she lied and told the police that he "kidnapped" them at "gunpoint" it was put out as an Amber Alert and manhunt that went on for 7 hours. If the mother of your kids DOES indeed file a report of kidnapping w/ the police and they find out she fabricated it just like this woman she will be the one behind bars and will have to bail out. The dad was released after they figured out he was in the clear and she lied.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2008, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
875 posts, read 760,811 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by momof2dfw View Post
Just saw where a mother was ARRESTED for filing a FALSE report that her ex-boyfriend kidnapped their kids. After the police arrested the father/boyfriend and interviewed him they determined that he was being straight up w/ them and was legit and the mother was the one lying. This was in Texas too. They even spoke to the young children (2 & 6) who stated that the father was telling the truth. The mother told the police the father kidnapped them at gunpoint. She is now behind bars and he has the kids. Oh, this happened this week and just made the news today here in Texas. Because she lied and told the police that he "kidnapped" them at "gunpoint" it was put out as an Amber Alert and manhunt that went on for 7 hours. If the mother of your kids DOES indeed file a report of kidnapping w/ the police and they find out she fabricated it just like this woman she will be the one behind bars and will have to bail out. The dad was released after they figured out he was in the clear and she lied.
I just heard that on the news too......wonder if it's our OP?? lol

Last edited by ladysrodgers; 01-10-2008 at 04:38 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top