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Old 02-18-2015, 04:38 PM
 
1,609 posts, read 2,951,214 times
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Just hold on to those girls of yours. You are all they have and they need you. They need to feel safe to come and talk to you. Don't be afraid to leave an abusive wife. Talk to a councilor and go from there but remember. You are not alone. You have your girls. Don't be afraid to leave if you have to.
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Old 02-18-2015, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
5,284 posts, read 4,569,699 times
Reputation: 13277
Quote:
Originally Posted by armydad310 View Post
I've done a lot in the past year. I supervise the kids when they are doing their chores, so she doesn't feel like she has to do that with them. We do more date nights to attempt to have some adult time away from the kids to attempt to reduce her stress level. I have managed to not have any time where I have been sent TDY or had to go the the field for extended periods, resulting in me being home all the time. You name it, I've done it besides the counseling which is about to start. If this doesn't work, I know what the final step is.

Like I said originally, I;m mostly looking to just rant at this point. Thanks again to everyone for your replies.
Hey, even if you DID think your marriage should come first NO ONE should act the way she does. She is manipulative and controlling. I would not be surprised if she is bi-polar. She freaked out over some crumbs? And tripping on a shoe?

You've done a lot and she still hasn't improved. WHY would you inflict this woman on your kids? you are enabling her bad behavior.

Yes, please hurry to a counselor. You need perspective on this in order to protect your children from her emotional abuse: Because that is what it is.
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Old 02-18-2015, 04:55 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,500,984 times
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Sounds like you getting into therapy is really the best bet for this very complicated situation. Maybe she will join later...likely not.
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Old 02-18-2015, 05:29 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,113 posts, read 17,658,319 times
Reputation: 22465
I agree I think a divorce is in order you said this has been going on all along and you have been putting up with it , well pal it is time to put your foot down and tell her if she don't like it don't let the door hit her where the Good Lord split her and im sorry but your first duty is to protect your kids and you are not doing that . Get them and yourself away from her she sounds like a mental case mess . always make sure your kids come first .Im sure you are in a hard spot but you deserve to be happy as well and it does not sound like you are happy .
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Old 02-18-2015, 05:57 PM
 
13,010 posts, read 12,456,279 times
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I advised you a year ago to move on and extract yourself from the relationship to protect your children. You're modeling a disastrous relationship for your girls and allowing them to be verbally/emotionally abused by your wife. The fact they're teenagers doesn't mean they can fend for themselves - this is the time in their life where you're a crucial influence on their lives. Right now you're driving them away from you and giving them enough daddy issues to buy their future therapists new Mercedes.

Stop waffling like there's some reasonable situation in which you could remain married to this woman. She's treated your children horribly throughout your marriage, and no amount of counseling is going to fix that or mend those fences. Moreover, she doesn't seem to think there's a problem with her behavior. And by staying with her, no matter how much you try to run interference for your daughters, you're telling them she matters more than they do. And apparently, thats exactly how she thinks it should be.
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Old 02-18-2015, 06:07 PM
 
Location: CT
3,462 posts, read 1,698,018 times
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My advice is, NEVER let ANYONE treat your kids in a way you don't approve. It doesn't sound like your wife or her parents are being nurturing to YOUR kids. You're their Dad, it sounds like you're all they have, don't let them down.
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Old 02-18-2015, 07:01 PM
 
4,947 posts, read 2,568,683 times
Reputation: 21991
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms_Christina View Post
Just hold on to those girls of yours. You are all they have and they need you. They need to feel safe to come and talk to you. Don't be afraid to leave an abusive wife. Talk to a councilor and go from there but remember. You are not alone. You have your girls. Don't be afraid to leave if you have to.
I agree.

Secondly---your job as a parent is to protect your children. Why on Earth are you allowing someone to be so awful to your daughters??

In this case with a step parent, I do not believe the spouse comes first. You protect your children first, they count on you.
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Old 02-18-2015, 07:06 PM
 
5,840 posts, read 3,309,517 times
Reputation: 13637
I think your wife is jealous of your daughters. They are, after all, getting pretty close to being young women rather than kids. Hate to say it, but your marriage most likely isn't going to work.
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Old 02-18-2015, 07:43 PM
 
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,750,429 times
Reputation: 31051
Why on earth are you allowing this to continue? You need couples therapy and she sounds like she needs therapy on her own if there is any chance of this marriage working. Your kids need a stable happy home and you aren't providing that for them. If she won't go to therapy, she needs to go. You need to stand up for your kids.
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Old 02-18-2015, 11:40 PM
 
1,431 posts, read 659,460 times
Reputation: 1311
What did I just read...

Ok first, the kids come first in any family. She's being too hard on the kids, and I say this having grown up in a strict household. I think if you guys don't see eye to eye in the counseling sessions, cut it off. This has been going on far too long, as illustrated in your other thread.
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