Where is the line drawn between being strict and verbally abusive? (weight, parent)

[sidburn]

Since the difference is sometimes blurry, when does being strict, critical, raising your voice, etc. cross over into verbal/emotional abuse?

[Mattie]

I'd say right about when it changes from being critical of the action, to being critical of the child. And, yelling really isn't effective. If you want to get their attention, try whispering.

[Girl]

I would agree with Mattie. If the discipline moves away from attempting to correct the action to criticizing the child.

And this is harder for younger kids to grasp because they automatically think you are being critical of them. Which is why when my son was younger and he'd say, "I'm a bad kid!" when I put him in time out (or hand out some other punishment), I'd say, "No, you are a great kid who made a mistake - so we need to fix the reason why you made the mistake."

[spencgr]

Originally Posted by sidburn

Since the difference is sometimes blurry, when does being strict, critical, raising your voice, etc. cross over into verbal/emotional abuse?

"Strict" does not mean "critical" or "raising your voice".

Strict is having set rules that they must follow. It has nothing to do with being critical, and certainly doesn't require raising your voice.

[rrah]

Originally Posted by spencgr

"Strict" does not mean "critical" or "raising your voice".

Strict is having set rules that they must follow. It has nothing to do with being critical, and certainly doesn't require raising your voice.

This was my thought also. One can be strict and not even come close to being verbally abusive. It's two entirely different things.

[Tia 914]

Originally Posted by sidburn

Since the difference is sometimes blurry, when does being strict, critical, raising your voice, etc. cross over into verbal/emotional abuse?

I'd say it crosses the line if the parent or other adult resorts to name-calling, or belittling, or threats.

[~HecateWhisperCat~]

Verbally abusive is when you break the child down with no regards for anything. It has nothing to do with being strict. You could be the most lax parent around but on occasions call out their child for their weight, looks, intelligence, etc etc etc.

[HighFlyingBird]

Yeah I dont think strict is on a continuum with verbal abuse. Strict isnt tearing down a child, verbal abuse is.