How do I sleep train my 14 month old!!! (method, milk, wakes up)

[glass_of_merlot]

OK, one big mistake I did with my now 14 month old was too much co-sleeping. She have a hard time soothing herself to sleep. My first baby, who is now 8, was much easier. I never nursed him so sleep training him was easy.

This one, I still nurse, and the only way she will fall asleep is when I'm nursing her. Once she falls asleep, I put her down in her crib and she sleeps for maybe 2 hours, wakes up again ...and so on.

So tonight I tried once more to "sleep train" my daughter. But instead of leaving her in the room and walk out to let her cry it out, I just sat next to her crib and sang for her. Because she is so used to nursing herself to sleep, I made her a bottle At first she didn't want it because she wanted the boob, but she ended up taking it anyways. She cried and screamed tried to stand up in her crib. She was very upset. After about 20 minutes she stopped trying to stand up and her crying slowed down. She was now glaring at me while zipping her bottle. Then she cried and screamed some more and then all of a sudden she tossed the bottle, rolled over to her side, and fell asleep.

She woke up again 2 hours later. I repeated what I did earlier and i took another 45 minutes but she is sleeping again.

What are some tips you guys can give me, How long will this last? Is me being in the room a bad idea?

Thanks

[wac_432]

Walk out and stay out. Develop a bedtime routine and scheduled time if you don't have one already. Don't go in during the night until she's cried for at least 10 min. Remote ir camera if you are nervous she somehow got herself in trouble.

Good luck, I bet she settles down in under a week if you stick to your guns.

Edit: I've noticed through experimentation that--for ours--about 80% of all crying is letting me know how pissed they are at me, the world, etc. If they don't think I can hear\see them they're rarely upset even at an unwelcome bedtime or boo boo. Lol, little stinkers.

[Texas Ag 93]

Sounds like the nursing has become a prop, which is not uncommon.

A lot of people will tell you to just let them Cry It Out (aka "CIO"/"Ferberizing" etc). Lots of strong opinions for and against doing that.

As an alternative, you can google "Walk In Walk Out" method, or the "Gradual withdrawal" method. They seem to be good middle of the road techniques that have helped many people.

There is a parenting forum I have utilized for several years that I think is a wonderful resource. Search for the "baby whisperer" forums and take a look. It has entire sections and separate forums broken down by subject like sleeping, eating, behavioral, growth and development etc (all subdivided for infants vs toddler etc). It is a really great website with lots of users and if you search it, you will find threads on this exact issue. There is even an entire section for Walk In/Walk Out, Sleeping for toddlers etc.

[glass_of_merlot]

Thanks to you both. I did try the walk out thing and she screamed so loud. She was so pissed. I gave up because felt bad. Stupid I know. Maybe getting a camera so I can spy on her. She loves to climb and today she tried to climb out of her crib I raised 4 months ago.

[Texas Ag 93]

The "Walk Out" part does not work unless it is paired with the Walking Back In and soothing/reassuring her, so it's not "giving up" as you described it, it's a necessary part of the process. The main goal being that you can walk out and gradually extend the amount of time that elapses until you have to walk back in until you eliminate it entirely.

Just Walking Out and staying out is essentially CIO. Critics of CIO argue that it gives the baby abandonment issues and they eventually give up crying because they think nobody will come for them (not sure I agree with that entirely). Thing is, CIO does work, and often in just a few days, so it's hard to argue with those results, kwim?

And, I agree with wac_432 that the first thing you have to make sure she has a routine......your challenge is her routine involves nursing to sleep, so maybe that has to be addressed first by gradually trying to withdrawal it.

[cjmeck]

What you are doing is what I did with both of my kids. I stayed in the room (but didn't talk) and then gradually moved closer and closer to the door. Eventually, I was in the doorway, then the hallway, then out of sight altogether; maybe it took a few weeks, I'm not sure. Being consistent is huge with this method. Its been a few years since I was in this stage, but look up Ferber Method, I'm pretty sure I did a variation of that. I didn't ever just walk away though and stay out. I'd let them fuss for a few minutes or whatever, go in the room, lay them back down, pat their back and then walk back out. I'd gradually increase the time I was out of the room.

[Stagemomma]

you have two issues. First wean her from nursing back to sleep, but stay close to her while you do it. she will eventually stop waking so frequently. Then you can address the sleep issues separately.

I told mine in plain adult english that I was tired and she couldn't nurse at night any more. But I stayed with her.

You are doing the right thing...mine nursed at night until age two and had really bad cavities. It took her months to start sleeping through the night.

You could try a sippy cup or baby bottle of water instead of milk or formula. She needs to adjust to getting more calories during the day instead of at night.

[Ellen Pitts]

When my now 7 year old was that age, actually a bit younger...maybe 12 months, he would only go back to sleep nursing as well. I moved him onto a sippy cup which I gradually watered down until it was just water. That helped him break the habit of nursing to sleep. For me, it was easier to separate the two issues, co-sleeping and nursing to sleep. So I let him stay in my bed at that point. As long as he was sleeping with me (once I got the nursing taken care of) he would stay asleep at night, so it didn't bother my sleep so much.

Unless she has a feeding disorder of some kind, I don't think you need to worry about calories at 18 months. Most kids are weaned by that time. She should be able to get enough during the day through solid foods. She doesn't need breastmilk for nutrition at all at her age. It's just comfort. However, one of my children had a feeding disorder and at 18 months was NOT getting enough to eat. My doc told me I should continue nursing until the occupational therapy became effective. But he was losing weight, so you would see other symptoms if that were a problem.

[purehuman]

I think what you're doing is good. I wouldn't leave her alone. Gradually she will have the bottle and fall to sleep. It does take time though, which is why lots of parents just put of with a little one in their bed for years and years....

[veuvegirl]

I have done both. When my son was a baby I let him cry for five minutes, walked back in, rubbed his belly, out for ten, in and rub his belly. Each time the time got longer. It took about three days.

When he was older for some reason he started to freak out after his sister was born. We did the 'let him cry it out'. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, it breaks my heart still to this day. He cried forty five minutes the first time, and it got shorter and shorter. Finally after the fifth day he was fine.