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Old 01-14-2008, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Texas
690 posts, read 2,355,246 times
Reputation: 451

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We've only got one child and are perfectly happy that way. We originally planned on having another, but it just didn't work out that way. Our daughter is happy, independent, aware, and active, and I think we've done a great job with her, personally.

She's going on 13, and we STILL get asked, "So, when are you going to have another one?!" Not as often as we used to, though - which was ALL THE TIME - so I think people are starting to get it. We're not!
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Old 01-14-2008, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,453,568 times
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We have one son who will be 8 on Friday and are quite happy with our decision. My husband was adamantly opposed to having another one and had a vasectomy when our son was 2. I wouldn't have minded another but never felt like I had to have one. My husband thought he would like another when our son was 4 or 5 but it wasn't possible. We really couldn't see our lives any other way. Our lives are very full. And our son is a good kid. He plays well with others and is very sweet. He's like any other kid...has good days and bad but I wouldn't take anything for him. I don't think it's easier to have 1 than more than 1 - it's just a choice. I'm not having another kid because other people think I should. We have to live this life and raise the child. I was meant to be a one child parent. I don't have the patience for more than one and I'll admit to anyone who asks. I love my son but I'm thankful I didn't have anymore and that's my perrogative.
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Old 01-14-2008, 09:33 AM
 
15,197 posts, read 16,054,147 times
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We have a 9-year-old daughter and don't plan on having any more. My dh never wanted more than 1 child. Up until the time she was about 3 I would have had another, but after she was out of diapers and became more independent I never wanted to start over again. I don't have any regrets.
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:56 AM
 
4,541 posts, read 9,499,866 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homewardbound66 View Post
"I have known a few only children that think the world owes them." I have known many children that come from families with 2, 3 or 4 that have spoil issues. Its not the number of children one has its the way they are raised.
That is so the truth! Our son works for our business - trust me, he doesn't get free ride. He WORKS! With that money he buys the extras he wants - he wanted texting on his cell phone, he has to pay for it. He is saving up for a new phone. He knows when he inherits the old Jeep in a couple of years when he starts driving that if he wants to be able to drive he better be earning enough to pay for gas and insurance or we take it away.
He is not given an allowance of any sort. What we do give him is a debit card that I load with $20 a month. That has to go towards, shampoo, clothes, etc. That way he has to make good choices about what he buys - if he gets one incredible pair of shoes or how bad he needs those new jeans. There was one day we were at Target and he was buying shampoo - which he uses that special card. He threw a pack of gum on the thing next to the shampoo and I said, "Excuse me? The gum isn't considered one of your necessities, which is what that card is for. If you want the gum you have to spend your own money." He didn't have cash so he had to choose between not getting the gum, paying for it separately out of his checking account with his debit card, or paying for both the shampoo and the gum out of his personal checking. He opted for the last one (shampoo was cheap).
I don't know - maybe I'm a meany but we are really trying to teach him responsibility. There's a lot of things that suddenly don't seem like that big a deal to have once the reality of having to spend hard earned money on it comes into play!
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:13 AM
 
Location: New York
371 posts, read 1,785,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
I don't know - maybe I'm a meany but we are really trying to teach him responsibility. There's a lot of things that suddenly don't seem like that big a deal to have once the reality of having to spend hard earned money on it comes into play!
No way are you being a meany!! You are practicing good parenting. Keep up the good work.
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Texas
690 posts, read 2,355,246 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinsmom View Post
I was meant to be a one child parent.
I think I was too, austinsmom. We decided to try for another child about 5 years ago and it just didn't happen. I told my husband that as far as I was concerned, that was God's way of telling us that we were meant to have one child and that was it.
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:55 AM
 
Location: makin' bacon
3,340 posts, read 2,553,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
We only have one and I can't imagine it any other way. He is now 14. Very independent young man. But he is also a home body who loves to hang out with his parents. He is a great kid and far from spoiled. I suppose that is something you have to be very conscious about, but not sure how being an only child creates that - I've seen plenty of very spoiled children from homes with lots of kids.
I have asked my son if he wishes he had a sibling - he says absolutely no way. There are no guarantees that siblings will be lifelong friends or even like each other for that matter. So to have more kids for that reason may prove to be a disappointment later on.
We've been able to offer our son so many more opportunities because he is the only one. Don't ever feel guilty about choices you've made. Maybe some of those people judging your choice are just jealous
This pretty much sums up our story, with the exception being my son is 12. It used to get under my skin when people(including family members) would tell us we "have" to have another kid so our son wouldn't get bored. This always seemed foolish to me. If we wanted another child, we would have had one, but not just to entertain our first born.
We do not ever feel guilty about our decision.
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Old 01-14-2008, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,668 posts, read 19,922,306 times
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We only had one child. I was happy with that situation though it was not really by "our choice." Our son was outgoing, well-adjusted etc. and if it bothered him to not have siblings, he never mentioned it. He was a glorious child. I never felt any lack in just having him.

Ok, the caveat in this story is this...he was killed in an automobile accident when he was 16. One child was acceptable to me and my husband. "NO" child is not. Now I know that thankfully this doesn't happen to most people, and I well know that one child can't replace another, but...it is something to think about when making choices.
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Old 01-14-2008, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,289,243 times
Reputation: 2657
Quote:
Originally Posted by tlb71 View Post
This pretty much sums up our story, with the exception being my son is 12. It used to get under my skin when people(including family members) would tell us we "have" to have another kid so our son wouldn't get bored. This always seemed foolish to me. If we wanted another child, we would have had one, but not just to entertain our first born.
We do not ever feel guilty about our decision.
How about when people tell you that you couldn't possibly understand because you only have 1!

My kids are 9 years apart. People used to say that to me all the time before my son was born. It used to drive me crazy ....like somehow I was not a good as them because I only had 1!
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Old 01-14-2008, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Burlington County NJ
1,969 posts, read 5,289,243 times
Reputation: 2657
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
We only had one child. I was happy with that situation though it was not really by "our choice." Our son was outgoing, well-adjusted etc. and if it bothered him to not have siblings, he never mentioned it. He was a glorious child. I never felt any lack in just having him.

Ok, the caveat in this story is this...he was killed in an automobile accident when he was 16. One child was acceptable to me and my husband. "NO" child is not. Now I know that thankfully this doesn't happen to most people, and I well know that one child can't replace another, but...it is something to think about when making choices.

I'm so sorry about your son.
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