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Old 04-14-2010, 06:00 AM
 
822 posts, read 2,616,423 times
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I haven't had a chance to read all of the posts. I have just one child. It isn't that I'm satisfied or not satisfied - she is extremely lonely and has finally decided that because she won't have the family she wants, she's going to grow up and have "19 kids" of her own. She's uniquely social, so she's probably not the best "only child".
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:36 AM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,789,444 times
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I always wanted 2. Even with some difficulty with the first pregnancy and newborn, I still wanted another. They're 2 years apart.

In all of these responses I don't see many REASONS for having only one. I'm not judging. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I'm just curious as to why. Obviously it is no one's business but your own. I just keep wondering if the first was so much work, you don't want to do it again. Or if you love the first one so much you can't imagine loving a second as much. Just curious.
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:58 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,142 posts, read 11,174,229 times
Reputation: 2501
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
In all of these responses I don't see many REASONS for having only one. I'm not judging. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I'm just curious as to why. Obviously it is no one's business but your own. I just keep wondering if the first was so much work, you don't want to do it again. Or if you love the first one so much you can't imagine loving a second as much. Just curious.
Maybe I can shed some insight as me being the only child. I grew up working class and I was born when my mom was 35 and my dad 40. The reason they say they only wanted one children is because they grew up in large families (8 siblings in each family) and always felt the family was struggling to put food on the table for a large family and felt neglected by their parents having to constantly work to provide. They also say that the reason they didn't try for more children is that they saw the struggles their other siblings had when faced with a multiple child household and how they were constantly stressed about bills and such.
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Old 04-14-2010, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Loudoun County, VA
1,148 posts, read 3,299,390 times
Reputation: 402
I replied to this post some time ago (probably closer to two years ago..). I did not want another child for the longest time, now we're pregnant with #2 and very excited! Now looking back I realize our hesitation of having another child was all the developmental issues we've been having with DS. As he got a bit older (turning four soon), we realized our family is not complete.
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Old 04-14-2010, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 9,299,522 times
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Please don't have another baby because you want a playmate for your current child. There is no guarantee that the kids will be friends (or even like each other, really). My sister and I fought and struggled with each other our entire childhoods--I wanted a girly sister to trade clothes with, and she wanted a brother to build forts with. We had no shared interests at all. I think we both would have been happier as only children. We are now in our mid-twenties, and we call each other on birthdays and that's about it--we're in completely different places in life, still with nothing in common. We're both much happier this way, now that we don't have to pretend to get along anymore to make our mom happy!

So...if you're happy with one child--don't second guess yourself!
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Old 04-14-2010, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,659,294 times
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Given the overpopulation of the world. I suspect that one child will become the norm.
There are heaps of couples who decide to have no kids. I doubt if this would have been seen as solially acceptable in years gone by.
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Old 04-15-2010, 01:44 PM
 
822 posts, read 2,616,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I always wanted 2. Even with some difficulty with the first pregnancy and newborn, I still wanted another. They're 2 years apart.

In all of these responses I don't see many REASONS for having only one. I'm not judging. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I'm just curious as to why. Obviously it is no one's business but your own. I just keep wondering if the first was so much work, you don't want to do it again. Or if you love the first one so much you can't imagine loving a second as much. Just curious.
For me, there were two reasons:

1. Pregnancy complications (clotted umbilical cord - 3 years later a blood clot in my eye, so that pretty much sealed it ...);
2. Marriage complications (he decided he didn't really want the responsibility; he just wanted his freedom; the baby too much of my attention away from his needs, ugh!)
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:25 PM
 
432 posts, read 1,141,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homewardbound66 View Post
I have to respectfully disagree with you on the issue that one is waaaay easier than 2, 3 or 4. Do your children play together at all? Mine doesn't have another sibling to play with and so I'm the entertainer and the mother. The only way I see that this easier is maybe when you go out you have to be more organized than a Mom with only 1 child.

"I have known a few only children that think the world owes them." I have known many children that come from families with 2, 3 or 4 that have spoil issues. Its not the number of children one has its the way they are raised.

My husband built my son a loft bed this weekend and he was so excited and appreciative. He at one point went into the kitchen and got Daddy a cold glass of water and went into the bathroom and got a towel. He returns to where Daddy is working and hands him the glass of water and proceeds to take the towel and py wipe Daddy's forehead (sweat). He's 5 years old and he's an only child. I guess I wouldn't describe that behaviour as "the world owes him."
At 5 for most kids the parents are their whole world , and they look up to them.
As a teenager well.... Be happy if you can have some lines of communication open and your child respects you.
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Old 04-17-2010, 08:23 PM
 
Location: NJ
1,495 posts, read 4,442,478 times
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I think that with the way the economy is now and there is so much uncertainty in many aspects of life, one child i enough. Nothing would be worse than to be out of a job with no money and have to worry about even more mouths to feed.
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Old 04-17-2010, 09:14 PM
 
511 posts, read 1,912,559 times
Reputation: 737
We have one, who's almost 5, and want no more. I can't imagine having another. For one thing, our family just feels right, feels complete. We're happy. That is first & foremost. For another thing, we do not have the space to expand our family, nor the $$ to do so.
I don't think our daughter is lonely, she has plenty of things to do & people to see. Lots of extended family nearby, preschool, pets, and activities that my dh & I do with her- such as today, I took her fishing & we caught a rainbow trout
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