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It's not the physical stuff that's the most demanding. If it were just the physical work, it would only be hard for a few years, then everything would be easy-peasy.
But, as the saying goes, little children, little problems. The issues get more intense and complicated as the kids grow.
I have a preteen and a teenager. They sleep through the night and don't need help in the bathroom. I can leave them home alone for a few hours and they won't kill each other or starve. They will even take the dog out so he doesn't pee on the floor. They can wash dishes and vacuum and (are supposed to) keep their bathroom clean. So when it comes to the physical work, it's pretty much the same as if I lived alone, save for the extra driving involved.
But the emotional toll and worry is never-ending. As a parent, you're responsible for helping to mold a child into a self-sufficient adult. Along the way, there are a million obstacles. That part is extremely overwhelming. I worry that the kids don't have enough friends, socialize too much, have too many chores, don't have enough chores, are unhappy, are too spoiled, might get seriously ill, might get hurt, might make bad choices, might not make enough bad choices when they're young and make them when they're adults when the stakes are higher, and on and on and on.
That's what so difficult about raising kids. Good thing it's also fun and they're pretty awesome!
I don't have kids, but I can appreciate how difficult it is to raise them.
Especially today. My mom was a single parent, and she had it hard in the late 80s/90s. The world is a thousand times worse today. I remember a time when I could go outside unsupervised and play until the street lights came on. Not today. Today, in the world of Facebook and cell phones, there are too many ways for your kids to get hurt, from bullies to pedophiles. Technology made these things easier and much worse.
to me the most difficult thing was that everything you do in raising your child matters and does have impact. and in the end there is so much you do not know, you can only do the best you can.
it isn't the cooking and cleaning, it is the being there and being responsible
It's not that it's all that difficult, it's just that it's completely different from not having children in that your time is never your own. When they're young, they have to be supervised constantly--literally 24 hours a day. Granted, a good deal of that either they're sleeping or you're all sleeping, but you still have to be present and you're on call for all middle-of-the-night bathroom issues, illnesses, nightmares, etc. When they're older but not driving, lot of time is consumed taking them places they need/want to go and spending time with them doing things you probably wouldn't be doing if you were childfree, such as supervising homework, watching crappy movies, going to birthday parties and gatherings you'd rather skip, watching sporting events and performances you'd never watch if your kid wasn't participating. You do all of that because you love them and enjoy spending time with them, but if you didn't have them, those activities would probably not be your first choice.
You might want to come home from work, cook dinner, read a book and go to bed, but you have to fit all the other stuff in on top of that. I think that's what makes normal, run-of-the-mill child-raising a challenge. Add in special needs and all of that increases dramatically.
I asked my mom this question, and she said that the most difficult part about raising kids wasn't the kids themselves, but the other parents. I'm only 17 so I don't get how that works, maybe some of the parents could explain it here
When my kids were middle school especially, it seems that parents did not parent their children. basically children were on their own and raising each other. I felt like I was pushing back the ocean with my hands to keep my kids on the straight and narrow.
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