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Judges look out for the best interest of the child. Because women generally assume the role of primary care giver, and because fathers do not often ask for custody, the bulk of child custody rulings favor the mother.
If this concerns you, make it a priority to be the primary care giver to your children. When/if your marriage fails, seek custody and you will have great odds of custody being awarded to you.
Good luck.
Bad assumption. More often than not, they look after the mothers rights.
The woman literally needs to be in prison, a documented, repeat drug addict, or have some other crazy issues going on to not get custody...
Bad assumption. More often than not, they look after the mothers rights.
The woman literally needs to be in prison, a documented, repeat drug addict, or have some other crazy issues going on to not get custody...
This.
Pretty much the woman is getting the children barring any major problems the husband can present in court.
It is just not right that a woman can simply divorce her husband due to falling out of love and meeting a new man and take the husband's kids away from him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MEDALLOKUYA
As a man, one thing I am terrified of is getting a divorce and not being with my kids. The courts are set up to where the woman gets the kids by default unless she is a complete mess ie drugs, no job, mental, etc.
No idea where you get that crap. I know of zero divorces couples that don't split custody 50/50.
But if you're terrified of the future, then don't get married and don't have kids.
Thought that was assumed / common sense. Should be atleast. But people do not treat it as such. Sadly.
I never said any parent should be able to rob the other of their child. The only reason a parent should be able to retain custody of the children when filing for divorce is in the event of physical or mental abuse , drug use, infidelity etc. (would need to be proven and not hearsay)
Basically if you want to divorce your spouse for a non serious reason then the other party should have the option to retain the children.
The majority of the time divorce IS for a serious reason, whether or not anyone outside of the couple knows about it. I know a lot of divorced people, and not a single one of them got divorced for frivolous reasons.
But again, why worry about this now? You have a tendency to create threads about things that "may" happen many, many years down the road. Your last thread was about not being able to be attracted to your wife when your 70, and yet you aren't even married yet, correct? And now you're talking about hypothetical kids someday. Try to live in the present and not worry about things you can't control so much.
Pretty much the woman is getting the children barring any major problems the husband can present in court.
It is just not right that a woman can simply divorce her husband due to falling out of love and meeting a new man and take the husband's kids away from him.
No fault divorce. Anyone can divorce for any reason, but it is very rare that a couple divorce because they just fell out of love. A variety of behaviors, acts, changes, etc. lead to "falling out of love" or as they call it irreconcilable differences.
Now, the majority of states default to 50/50 custody or shared custody. A father/couple can ask for what every custody situation best fits their needs. It is not by default the mother get the children. She does the majority of time because the father does not request custody or he really doesn't want to be custodial parent.
The courts look at what is in the best interest of the child. The mother is generally the primary caregiver, has a stronger bond with the child and is more flexible and able to care for the child. If fathers want more equal custodial rights they need to be more active in their children's lives, take on more parental responsibilities and be proactive in their divorce proceedings.
If you would actually take the time to research the facts surround child custody instead of pulling some BS out your butt you would have less what ifs to worry about.
I think that people sometimes get confused between "legal" and "physical" custody. Many (most?) of the divorced families I know have joint legal custody, with each parent getting "final say" on some aspects of the child's life (e.g., medical, educational, religious, etc...). But, in a lot of those scenarios, one parent has primary physical custody, meaning where the child actually resides most of the time. So, in those scenarios where a Dad has the kids every other weekend and maybe one weekday night, the parents still usually have joint legal custody. 50/50 physical custody splits are less common because it's hard on kids to have to shuffle back and forth between two houses multiple times per week, no matter how close the parents live to each other.
There are some more revolutionary ideas. I know one family where the kids stay in the family home 100% of the time and the parents rotate in and out several times per week. They have to make their own arrangements for the times when they are not in the house. That would not be feasible for many acrimoniously divorced couples, but it's great for the kids and allows each parent equal access.
Basically if you want to divorce your spouse for a non serious reason then the other party should have the option to retain the children.
Hypothetically, let's say two people jointly and amicably decide to divorce. For whatever reason, they both feel it would be better to not be married. Now let's assume they both want physical custody. Are you saying that the father should AUTOMATICALLY retain custody because he wants it?
The courts look at what is in the best interest of the child. The mother is generally the primary caregiver, has a stronger bond with the child and is more flexible and able to care for the child. If fathers want more equal custodial rights they need to be more active in their children's lives, take on more parental responsibilities and be proactive in their divorce proceedings.
Right, and I think that what a lot of the 20-something guys with little relationship experience who read angry blogs forget is that a bad marriage or an unequal custody situation isn't something that just happens without any input of the parties involved. I know some divorced dads who would rather be the fun weekend dad and not have to deal with the heavy day-to-day parental lifting. That's how they were during their marriages; that's how it is with their custody arrangement. Others were present, active, and equal parents, and they would accept no less than custodial situation that reflects that.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 04-10-2015 at 10:11 AM..
There are some more revolutionary ideas. I know one family where the kids stay in the family home 100% of the time and the parents rotate in and out several times per week. They have to make their own arrangements for the times when they are not in the house. That would not be feasible for many acrimoniously divorced couples, but it's great for the kids and allows each parent equal access.
This should be the norm. Having to pack your bags and move back and forth every week is awkward and inconvenient. I hated it. If the adults made the choice to split up, they should be the ones burdened with the inconveniences of it, not the innocent children. Children need stability, so why are they the ones that have to move around?
It could be cheaper too. Instead of two big houses, you could have just one big house for the kids and 2 small apartments for the parents. You wouldn't need 2 sets of bedroom furniture for each child, and double everything else that both parents want on hand to keep the kids happy. Everything for the kids would stay in the big house, and parents just keep their own personal stuff in their little apartments.
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